Thursday, May 15, 2014

Introducing: Thursdays with Taryn

I had the honor of meeting one on one with David Tabatsky...co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul's The Cancer Book...on Tuesday.  I have mentioned to most all my doctors that I blog...so "one" of my favorite doctors at CTCA arranged for me to meet with David.  He gave me a few suggestions what I can do...and one that made my face light up was quite obvious that I have to go for it. 

You see...my life has dealt a LOT with "C"...but I am also so much more than dealing with "C". I am Jamie. I am 36. I am a daughter, sister, aunt, and friend. More importantly I am a MAMA. 

My girls have had to deal with "C" also a lot of their lives watching me go through it all...from surgeries, chemo, radiation, blood draws, injections and so much more...but then again we have made so many other memories that don't involve that nasty "C". 

My girls are 2 very different little girls...anyone that truly knows my girls knows what I am talking about. Taryn is my gentle little lady...and Maesyn is my strong-willed little one.  Taryn loves to express herself through writing, and Maesyn although would rather be riding on a horse...she is also a very good artist. 

So this brings me back to the conversation I had with David...he made mention that why don't I have my girls be guest bloggers on my blog.  Thursdays with Taryn and Mondays with Maesyn.   There are no rules, limits, or stipulations...I have given the girls the opportunity to express themselves freely.  They can write 2 words, 2 paragraphs, 2 pages, or draw what is on their little minds.

We aren't just about dealing with "C"...we are about living the life that God has given us.  So without further delay...let me introduce you to someone extra special.

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Jrenae Daniels's photo.


Hello! My name is Taryn . My family and friends sometimes call me "TT".  I am 11 years old and finishing my 6th grade year of middle school.  I enjoy showing livestock, singing, dancing, soccer, playing my guitar,  gymnastics, and volleyball. Every Thursday I will be blogging. Let’s  begin…

THE SURVIVOR

So much depends

Upon

A Strong  cancer

Survivor

Coated with tears and

Poison

Beside the two

Little Girls.

 

One of my assignments in my writing class was to write a poem that  has a special meaning to you. I had a  hard time thinking about what I should do. So I told myself write about a survivor like my mom. So I picked up my pencil and started writing. And that’s what came out. A few  ways  I express my feelings is through writing, singing, and sports. -Taryn
 
 
I asked Taryn what was the meaning of her above passage was...she simply said...NGU (never give up).  There is more to being a strong survivor...going through chemo and all the tears...no matter what  you have your 2 little girls.  This my readers...is just a glimpse of my little TT.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mama's Girls...

This post is dedicated to "my girls"
 Tonight we had a little impromptu photo shoot...pictures are worth a thousand words...and if I could I would cover every wall with pictures...
 

 


Taryn and Maesyn...this post is for you!!!

I know I write little "I LOVE YOUS"...and we do "our" things together...but I just want the world to know what I think about the 2 of YOU!!!  I know that our life hasn't always been peaches-n-creme...but let me tell you...this is OUR story.

No one else has walked in your shoes...no one has had to watch their Mama fight for her life like you 2...no one has had to tell their Mama see-you soon as many times as they go off to school and she (me) goes off to chemo...no one has had to see their Mama cry as she was scared for her life...no one else has had to "grow-up" like you 2 because of all life has thrown their way.

BUT...I can tell you this because of all the "crazy" stuff that we have had to go through...YOU 2 are strong little girls.  You continue to go through life as if we really aren't dealing with the "craziness"...

You go to school, you like showin' your pigs, riding horses, going to the water park, having a picnic at the park, riding your skate boards, riding our bikes together, shopping, para-gliding, our little mini-trips up North (which we are due for another one), walking down Grammy's lane together, taking an enormous amount of "selfies", jumping on the trampoline...then laying there at night as we gaze at the stars, having lots of sleep-overs because I guess your friends think you have a cool Mama-ha!
These are just to name a few...but whatever the day may be...we are ALWAYS making memories.

Today is Mother's Day...a Day to honor our Mom's...a day to recognize what "she" has done for us...I want to recognize the 2 that made me become a Mama...Yes, I am beyond thankful for MY Mama...but the 2 of you need to know what you mean to me.



Taryn Rae...YOU beautiful little girl were the first one that made me feel what it was like to love your own.  Some one that I carried for 9 months...someone that I would feel kick me for the first time...someone that would twist around in my tummy as I would drive my car and listen to music (maybe that's why you love music so much). 7-8-02 was such a glorious day as we welcomed you into the world.  I never knew what it meant when other's would say or refer to a "mother's love"...then you came along and I knew all to well what other Mamas were talking about.  You have brought so much joy into my life and continue to do so by being YOU.  You have the heart as big as the universe and a such an old soul that others only dream of having.  You are truly wiser beyond your years. 
I pray that God continues to guide you and protect you as growing up in today's world isn't the easiest...always keep your head held high, keep focused on what is right, know that you are loved...and always be YOU. Whether you become a singer/songwriter...or a doctor...I know you will be an awesome one.  I love you forever always! -Mama


Maesyn Lee...WOW! Where do I begin...my stunning little baby girl...I remember crying the night before I had you. Thought I could never love another as much as I loved your sister...but Grammy reassured me...that it just comes natural...and YES...I could love another just as much.  Well that much is for sure.  The minute you were born I was just as happy and in love as I was with "TT'...but you cried-ha...I knew you were going to be my strong-willed little one.  You were always so driven as to whatever you wanted...you were going to do or you were going to get. Ha! Who am I fooling...you still are! From being our animal-whisperer...to riding horses so fast around those barrels...from not accepting just an (A)...it has to be an (A+)...you are one determined little girl.  You have always wanted to be ahead of the game. You are quick-witted.  You have brought so much into my life...from near heart-attacks...to a heart that is so full of love from you.  You are a smart little girl...sometimes too smart. I pray that God always watches over you...guides you and gives you the direction in life that you'll always need.  Keep aiming high and I truly believe one day you will be that veterinarian that you dream of being...and not just any vet...but as you say...one for large animals.  Be you...always!  I love you to the moon and back 1000 times.-Mama


You BOTH make me one PROUD Mama!!!  Thank you for your unconditional love.

So as I mentioned that Mother's Day is about Moms...it is also about our kids.  Without you kids...there wouldn't be a reason to celebrate Mother's Day.



Many have seen people talk about heroes.  Some heroes wear capes, others might wear white-coats, some save people from burning buildings, some might pull your Mama over when she drives a little fast, some might teach you the ABCs or your 1-2-3s...but MY heroes wear braces...MY heroes are 2 little girls that call me Mama.  Yes, TT and Mae-Mae...you are MY heroes...without you life would be so boring...you are my reason to FIGHT...my reason to live.  Thank you for being YOU!!!

Until next time...kiss your babies and hug them tight...because they are only little for so such a short time.

I want to wish all you Mama's out there a Happy Mother's Day.  Continue to make a POSITIVE difference in your child(s) life...we are their role-models (or at least hopefully are).

"Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness.  If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love."-Stevie Wonder




May 11th

Today I know is Mother's Day...however May 11th has a VERY special meaning to me.  40 years ago today...2 VERY special people said, "I do".  Without these 2 people...I wouldn't be here today.  Although their life together was cut short here on earth, as my Dad passed at the age of 48...I know one day they will be reunited in Heaven. 

Yes, I know it has been 11 years since my Dad passed...but it seems like yesterday on some days...and on others it seems like 111 years ago. 

My Dad and Mom were examples to my Sister and I on how to love, and how to be loved. 

I am forever grateful for the love that they gave us, gave others, but more importantly gave each other. 

My heart aches for my Mom as I know she misses her "true-love"...but I know she is one tough little Mama. :) 

Until next time...remembering all the good times.



Saturday, May 3, 2014

Didn't mean to...

Hello! Didn't mean to leave you all hangin' the other day with my stuff. :)  I met with the GI doctor after I had my chemo...Round #11...but who's counting?!  It was confirmed that the "narrowing"  I had that we thought might just be scar-tissue from the whipple...is actually a tumor that is causing the narrowing which has also caused me a GREAT deal of pain.  The dr doesn't believe it is something "new" however it has been there and the chemo has been keeping it at bay.  So good and bad...good that it has "stayed" there...bad that there is actually "C" in that area. 

So...the game plan everyone will be asking???  Chemo so far is staying the same...BUT...within the next 6 weeks I will be going to have a procedure that has only been used for the past 2 years.  Scary-yes.  Am I optimistic-yes!  They will go in and "burn" the tumor out and then replace these plastic stents with metal ones.  Yes there are risks to this procedure...but the benefits out-weigh the risks.  In fact straight out of Dr.K's mouth..."If you were my sister this is what I would do."

What can you do?  Continue to send positive thoughts and prayers my way...Pray that the stents I have in now will lasts until the procedure is scheduled and that I won't get any infections or any blockages. 

When I get "more" info on this procedure...don't you worry your pretty little heart...I will tell you all more about it.

I am sure once the day gets closer...I might be more nervous about the whole ordeal...but until then I am making memories with my girls and trying to live life to the fullest each day. 

Until next time...I am thankful for modern medicine.

Ryan


 
Not sure where to begin this post tonight...but I know one thing...there are days that I am grateful for how "C" has affected my life.  I know...weird to think that.  BUT...I am a stronger person, I live life a little more, and nothing is taken for granted.  HOWEVER...there are many days that I  truly dislike "C".  Today would be one of those days.  I asked the other night that you say a prayer for "Ryan" and his family...well he passed today.  When I received the text from my cousin to tell me...all I could do was bite my tongue and try not to cry.  I don't understand why another family has to go through the pain of losing a family member to this horrible disease.   My heart goes out to the "K" family and you are uplifted in prayers during this difficult time.