So many of you have heard of "Make a difference Monday"...some of you perhaps have had something happen to you on a particular Monday that someone did something nice for you or maybe even you were the one that did something nice for someone else.
Well today as I was driving home from my oncologist office...I started to reflect on this past year. I began to realize that it was around this time last year that I started to "feel" sick. It was about a week or so later that I had gone to a "local" hospital where I would later be informed that they had misdiagnosed what was "really" going on.
As I started to think about what all has gone on in my life since September 2012...I couldn't help but to thank God first of all that I am still here...but also thankful to those that have supported me emotionally, financially, and spiritually through prayer. I have had a rough journey over the last year...but some of you have made it easier and have taken off a lot of stress that I would have otherwise.
So with that being said...I had cleaned out my closet the other day well...at least some of it. I had found 2 cards in a bag of mine. To my surprise I found more gift cards. So after I headed to pick up the girls from school I asked them where they wanted to eat. They had 2 choices...one card was for Rubios and the other one was for the Olive Garden. It was hands down that we were headed to the "OG"...
Well here's where the "Make a Difference Monday" came into play...the girls had finished their meal and I asked for a box to take a good 3/4 of my linguini home. When the waiter came back...he informed me that once again...our meal was taken care of. So to the loving person(s) that took care of our meal...THANK YOU!!! You truly Made a Difference.
I pray that I am able to financially support my girls and myself in the near future...because my goal is to be able to pay it forward. I want nothing more but to be able to see someone whether I know them or not and be able to pay for their meals, or their gas, or anything else that they might need.
This journey hasn't been an easy one...but with you all continuing to uplift me in your thoughts and prayers...I know that God has a purpose for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Until next time...make a difference in some one's day! :)
Monday, August 19, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
In the RIGHT direction
My tumor markers are checked through blood tests about every month...the "normal" is under 36...but for those that don't know my CA19-9 journey...let me explain. When I was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer November 2012...my CA19-9 was over 1600. Then it was onto getting the whipple surgery and right before I started my first round of 5FU chemo it was at 178...then 117...175...then it leaped up to 1305 (my doctors and I were pretty freaked out to say the least)...then miraculously it came back down to 121...now it is at 58. This is a BIG deal to me!
I truly believe in the POWER of PRAYER!!! God is so good and HE is with me always...especially through my "journeys" or should I say my battles in which I fight to survive. Thank you God for loving me and continuing to give me the strength that I need as I continue to fight "C". One day at a time...but it's days like today that I want to go scream with excitement that I can. I will.
I appreciate all the LOVE, SUPPORT, and PRAYERS from all of you. I appreciate all the knowledge my doctors have in guiding me through my fight. I actually appreciate myself for having the will to survive, the courage to keep fighting, and the determination to show others that it can be done. Never give up!!!
Until next time...this girl is keeping her dukes up and staying strong!
Monday, July 8, 2013
Milestone: Happy Birthday T
When I was diagnosed on 11.30.12 with Pancreatic Cancer...I didn't know, nor did my doctors know my prognosis. We hoped and prayed for the "best"...but in the back of every one's minds weren't sure and knew about the "worst". I was emotionally drained one night as I laid in the hospital room at Banner T-Bird and cried. I was praying that I would be around for Christmas...and my daughters' birthdays. So since "D-Day" as I refer diagnosis day to...I have celebrated Christmas, New Years (in the hospital), Valentine's Day, Easter, Mother's Day and look forward to years to come of all the other holidays that we will celebrate together.
Today however is especially a special day for me. Chemo was moved to tomorrow just for this special reason...TODAY is my oldest daughter's 11th Birthday. Taryn Rae was born at 3:07pm on July 8, 2002...weighing in at 8#8oz. She has changed my life to see what really matters. It is the simple little things we get to do together that mean so much. She has shown me what "I-LOVE-YOU" means. She loves me unconditionally as I do the same for her. I am so proud of who she has become and all that she has ahead of her.
Ask anyone that knows her and they will describe her as a beautiful little girl, who is sweet, and all that she has gone through in her 11 years...she is wise beyond her years.
THANK YOU God...for giving me the courage to fight as I am able to celebrate another birthday with my BIG girl.
Today if you are able to...hug your children young or old and tell them what they mean to YOU!
Children are a precious gift from God and I am grateful that He blessed me with 2 beautiful baby girls that call me Mama.
Until next time...Here is to MANY more birthdays!
Taryn Rae-
Today you turn 11 years old...where has all the time gone? I can remember Dr. Kennedy placing you in my arms and thinking oh wow! I reflect back on all our special memories...from bike rides, camping trips, school events, doing girlie stuff, to all your dance recitals. You have always made me proud and are such a simple little girl. You are happy with whatever we are doing and appreciate what you have. Thanks for being YOU. You make me so proud to be called your Mama. I know as you get older life will get a little harder...but always be yourself. Don't change for ANYONE...be true! Keep a smile on your face and know that YOU are loved...very much! Forever always-Mama
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Raising Arizona Kids
Raising Arizona Kids came to one of the Kids Can Cope meetings a few months back...you might have seen this video by now :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlepeNCyL8o&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I seriously cry every time I watch it. So proud of my babies and all the kids for their bravery as they have to learn how to deal with living day to day and not knowing what tomorrow brings.
This experience is just another positive one being part of a group that is helping my girls, along with other kids learning how to cope with Parents dealing with Cancer.
For more information on KIDS CAN COPE: http://www.bannerhealth.com/Locations/Arizona/Banner+Thunderbird+Medical+Center/Programs+and+Services/Cancer+Care/Kids+Can+Cope/_Kids_Cancer.htm
Until next time...realize you never know who is fighting a battle...cherish the little things in life that aren't "things". Tuck them into bed, say their prayers with them, and tell them "I Love YOU", and "I am so PROUD of YOU". Its these simple little things that make a BIG difference.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlepeNCyL8o&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I seriously cry every time I watch it. So proud of my babies and all the kids for their bravery as they have to learn how to deal with living day to day and not knowing what tomorrow brings.
This experience is just another positive one being part of a group that is helping my girls, along with other kids learning how to cope with Parents dealing with Cancer.
For more information on KIDS CAN COPE: http://www.bannerhealth.com/Locations/Arizona/Banner+Thunderbird+Medical+Center/Programs+and+Services/Cancer+Care/Kids+Can+Cope/_Kids_Cancer.htm
Until next time...realize you never know who is fighting a battle...cherish the little things in life that aren't "things". Tuck them into bed, say their prayers with them, and tell them "I Love YOU", and "I am so PROUD of YOU". Its these simple little things that make a BIG difference.
For S & Z
So last night was like any other night driving to Kids Can Cope...but I really was paying close attention to the awkward sky...it wasn't your typical AZ sunset...or Cloudy blue sky...instead it was that gloomy looking sky...one before a storm rolls in. I thought to myself...perhaps it was our Heavenly Father sending us a sign that Heaven was opening up...for perhaps the 19 firefighters that lost their lives...or someone that I knew...but I had no idea. I just said a silent prayer and continued driving my girls towards the hospital where they meet twice a month.
Let me explain about the whole "sky-experience"...whether it has been a family member or friend who has passed...there has been some wicked weather and I like to think of it as they are sending us a sign...that hey...I am in a better place...for instance...after we lost my Dad...it literally rained and I mean rained HARD for Arizona to where things were fields were flooded...I still remember the smell of my Mom's front yard...covered in rain water.
So back to last night...
I figured since Taryn turns 11 on Monday...It would be cool to stop and get a snack for her to share with all the other kids. So why not?...would it make us a tad bit late-yes. But I wanted to make her feel special as birthdays are a BIG deal to me.
So we walked onto the 3rd floor of the hospital 7 minutes late. Better late than never is my motto in life :) As I sat down Kelly the director of Kids Can Cope shared the magazine that featured us in it (next blog)...I was proud seeing all the kids and what they had to say about coming to the group.
Next thing I look up and I see "S" walking to wash her hands from an activity they were doing in the group. Out of my mouth I asked this simple question, "How is your Mama doing?"...
(Her Mama...I met a few months back as she brought her babies S & Z to Kids Can Cope...she had been battling Colon/Breast Cancer)
It was at that very moment that I saw this young teenage girl answer my "simple" question with the soul of a 30+ year old. She looked into my eyes and calmly answered "She passed away this morning at 6:15"
I got out of my chair to give her a hug...that is all I could do...I was shocked and in disbelief...tears began to fill my eyes...which soon turned into tears rolling down my face. I reassured her that we are there for her and her brother and that if I could do anything...please contact me.
She shared with me her mother's wishes and what she was planning. What teenager should have to witness their Grandma and then a little over a year later their Mom lose their battles to this horrible disease. My heart aches for S & Z! When I looked into her eyes tonight...I saw a girl that I know as a Mom...her Mama is sooo proud of her. Her strength is amazing and I know there will be good days and bad...but this young lady is something quite amazing!!!
I pray for comfort for S & Z and know their "Angel", their Mama is NO longer suffering anymore. Stay strong you 2...you have a story to tell and I know your Mama is always going to be with you!
So folks...you see when I saw that sky tonight...it wasn't my eyes playing tricks on me...it was simply God saying...She's no longer in pain...she is in a much better place! When we drove away Taryn and Maesyn asked why I was quite upset...I answered...because tomorrow is never promised...we have to keep living day to day and live life to the fullest-while making a difference.
Until next time-uplift S & Z in your prayers!
Let me explain about the whole "sky-experience"...whether it has been a family member or friend who has passed...there has been some wicked weather and I like to think of it as they are sending us a sign...that hey...I am in a better place...for instance...after we lost my Dad...it literally rained and I mean rained HARD for Arizona to where things were fields were flooded...I still remember the smell of my Mom's front yard...covered in rain water.
So back to last night...
I figured since Taryn turns 11 on Monday...It would be cool to stop and get a snack for her to share with all the other kids. So why not?...would it make us a tad bit late-yes. But I wanted to make her feel special as birthdays are a BIG deal to me.
So we walked onto the 3rd floor of the hospital 7 minutes late. Better late than never is my motto in life :) As I sat down Kelly the director of Kids Can Cope shared the magazine that featured us in it (next blog)...I was proud seeing all the kids and what they had to say about coming to the group.
Next thing I look up and I see "S" walking to wash her hands from an activity they were doing in the group. Out of my mouth I asked this simple question, "How is your Mama doing?"...
(Her Mama...I met a few months back as she brought her babies S & Z to Kids Can Cope...she had been battling Colon/Breast Cancer)
It was at that very moment that I saw this young teenage girl answer my "simple" question with the soul of a 30+ year old. She looked into my eyes and calmly answered "She passed away this morning at 6:15"
I got out of my chair to give her a hug...that is all I could do...I was shocked and in disbelief...tears began to fill my eyes...which soon turned into tears rolling down my face. I reassured her that we are there for her and her brother and that if I could do anything...please contact me.
She shared with me her mother's wishes and what she was planning. What teenager should have to witness their Grandma and then a little over a year later their Mom lose their battles to this horrible disease. My heart aches for S & Z! When I looked into her eyes tonight...I saw a girl that I know as a Mom...her Mama is sooo proud of her. Her strength is amazing and I know there will be good days and bad...but this young lady is something quite amazing!!!
I pray for comfort for S & Z and know their "Angel", their Mama is NO longer suffering anymore. Stay strong you 2...you have a story to tell and I know your Mama is always going to be with you!
So folks...you see when I saw that sky tonight...it wasn't my eyes playing tricks on me...it was simply God saying...She's no longer in pain...she is in a much better place! When we drove away Taryn and Maesyn asked why I was quite upset...I answered...because tomorrow is never promised...we have to keep living day to day and live life to the fullest-while making a difference.
Until next time-uplift S & Z in your prayers!
Mama, Grammy, Miss Pammy Update
So just gonna get this off my chest...I sometimes, very-much, absolutely DISLIKE insurance companies. Many of you know of all the time we have spent waiting and wondering if my Mama's insurance would approve her scans...and after 6 long weeks...it was taken care of...well sort of...they never did approve a PET scan...so we went about getting her scanned a different way...
Then she started radiation on Monday...which she will have 20 treatments...and was prescribed a "chemo" pill...which she is to be on for the next 5 years.
Well, well...wouldn't you know...DENIED by insurance so now Dr. O is having to fight with them once again...in the mean time she gave my Mama samples that has her covered for almost a month. This insurance stuff is getting out of control!
Questions you have all asked...
What stage is my Mama's breast cancer?- There is not a so-called stage...Dr. Taw said we will consider calling it "Recurrent Breast Cancer".
Will Miss Pammy take time off of Preschool? Yeah-Right! Are you kidding me...she is a trooper and was out getting school supplies already. She worked through her first round in 1996 with Chemo and Radiation and NOTHING stopped her...as NOTHING will stop her NOW! This will be Child Enrichment Center's 30th year making a difference in so many children's lives. So proud of her and all the little lives that she has touched over the years.
Why doesn't she have a mastectomy? Well first of all its personal choice...which she asked her Dr about...and the location of her current "battle field" is NOT going to benefit from such a drastic surgery. Best stated from Dr. Taw...having a mastectomy is like removing fat from a piece of raw chicken...you Never get all the fat off...there will always be some left on...well that is like having a mastectomy...true they are able to get "most" of you breast tissue...but there will be some left over.
How is my Mama doing? She is doing fantastic...yes just like me...if you just saw us at the local grocery store, Target, or in Church...and didn't know "our story"...you would have NO idea!
As you often hear, "Ain't nobody got time for that"...Mama/Grammy/Miss Pammy really doesn't have time for this little battle...but she has her gloves on and is beating it once again!
Until next time...we are realizing God truly gives the battles to his toughest Warriors. God is giving us the strength to carry on!
Then she started radiation on Monday...which she will have 20 treatments...and was prescribed a "chemo" pill...which she is to be on for the next 5 years.
Well, well...wouldn't you know...DENIED by insurance so now Dr. O is having to fight with them once again...in the mean time she gave my Mama samples that has her covered for almost a month. This insurance stuff is getting out of control!
Questions you have all asked...
What stage is my Mama's breast cancer?- There is not a so-called stage...Dr. Taw said we will consider calling it "Recurrent Breast Cancer".
Will Miss Pammy take time off of Preschool? Yeah-Right! Are you kidding me...she is a trooper and was out getting school supplies already. She worked through her first round in 1996 with Chemo and Radiation and NOTHING stopped her...as NOTHING will stop her NOW! This will be Child Enrichment Center's 30th year making a difference in so many children's lives. So proud of her and all the little lives that she has touched over the years.
Why doesn't she have a mastectomy? Well first of all its personal choice...which she asked her Dr about...and the location of her current "battle field" is NOT going to benefit from such a drastic surgery. Best stated from Dr. Taw...having a mastectomy is like removing fat from a piece of raw chicken...you Never get all the fat off...there will always be some left on...well that is like having a mastectomy...true they are able to get "most" of you breast tissue...but there will be some left over.
How is my Mama doing? She is doing fantastic...yes just like me...if you just saw us at the local grocery store, Target, or in Church...and didn't know "our story"...you would have NO idea!
As you often hear, "Ain't nobody got time for that"...Mama/Grammy/Miss Pammy really doesn't have time for this little battle...but she has her gloves on and is beating it once again!
Until next time...we are realizing God truly gives the battles to his toughest Warriors. God is giving us the strength to carry on!
Just sayin'
DISCLAIMER/CAUTION/WARNING...what ever you want to call this "unnecessary" post...
For those of you that think my blog is depressing...or negative. there is a simple fix to that...hit the ESC button, or back space or what ever makes your heart happy. This blog is from MY heart...events that go on in MY life...or what I have encountered, endured, or continue to have to deal with. Thanks to all the HUNDREDS of people that read my blog daily and have commented on what an inspiration I am to them! This blog is to inspire, encourage, and help OTHERS cope with what they are faced with. I think I am accomplishing MY goal by all the emails and comments that I receive. If I have made the difference in ONE life...then I have done something positive...Thank you for your continued LOVE, SUPPORT, and PRAYERS!
-Until next time...SMILE! :)
For those of you that think my blog is depressing...or negative. there is a simple fix to that...hit the ESC button, or back space or what ever makes your heart happy. This blog is from MY heart...events that go on in MY life...or what I have encountered, endured, or continue to have to deal with. Thanks to all the HUNDREDS of people that read my blog daily and have commented on what an inspiration I am to them! This blog is to inspire, encourage, and help OTHERS cope with what they are faced with. I think I am accomplishing MY goal by all the emails and comments that I receive. If I have made the difference in ONE life...then I have done something positive...Thank you for your continued LOVE, SUPPORT, and PRAYERS!
-Until next time...SMILE! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
