Right is Right

Over the past few years I have often wondered how one can think "wrong is right"...and that "right is wrong"...I can't believe some people at times...this world that we live in. It saddens me to see the way people live. The way that others treat people.  The way that they go about their day like nothing is wrong. 

It bothers me that people are so at ease just to throw so much away...whether it is a good job, their homes, their family, or their life. I am not talking about people that have come into hardships...I am talking about those that are able to change...or able to live the life and they simply don't care.  What is wrong with our society today?  Years ago it was that everyone cared...nowadays that isn't the case so much. What happened to doing the right thing?

I once knew a person that would get irate when I wasn't "loyal" to them because I wouldn't take their side...and I would respond to them by saying...when you are doing something I don't believe in or don't agree with...I don't care who you are...call me what you will...but I know right is right and wrong is wrong. It isn't about being "loyal" it is about being an honest human being and standing up for what you believe in and what you know is right.

Well all I can say is this...Thank you to my Dad and Mom for raising me in a home that was filled with unconditional love...a home where we believed in God...worked for what we had...and knew right from wrong.

Until next time...recognize that being "loyal" is one thing...and doing right is another. 

I am seeing...RED

 You all know my blog is not just for me to talk about my journey with "C"...but my life in general.  So with that being said...Tomorrow (FEB. 7th) is wear red day for raising awareness for congenital heart defects. I have the perfect t-shirt that I will be wearing...I will have to make sure my hair and makeup look good so I can post some pictures.-ha!   So show your support...throw on a red scarf, wear some red shoes, tie a red bow in your hair, etc...I am wearing my RED heart-shirt for my cousin Kohl...who has been going heart-strong and is 21 years old, little Corben, Hunter, and Gigi.    

I can remember going to the ICU on several occasions when Kohl would be in the hospital for months at a time which seemed like eternity...now looking back I can't believe its been so many years ago.  Kohl underwent heart surgery at  3 days old and then again at 3 months old.  I am so proud of who he has become. I know life isn't always easy dealing with heart issues and having to be on medications for it...but he keeps his head held high and has become very successful.

So don't forget and lets wear our RED to support those that have dealt with CHD and those that are going through it now. Keep up the fight!  


Until next time...Hope to see LOTS of RED tomorrow.  Lets make a difference and spread the word! <3

Feb 5th...11 years later.

"If Tomorrow Never Comes"

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

 

 

"If Tomorrow Never Comes"..Garth Brooks sang this song and it was actually one of my Daddy's favorite songs.  He would sing this to us often, along the "The Dance" sang by Garth as well.  I think these lyrics sum up a lot. 

 

My Daddy never missed the opportunity to tell us or show us that he LOVED us...there wasn't a day that went by that he didn't say these three simple words...I LOVE YOU.  He not only told us...but he proved it by all that he did. 

 

He was a man of honor and respect.  He was a man that didn't know a stranger.  He was a man that stood up for what was right.  He was a man that believed in making a difference. He was a man that gave the BEST hugs.  He was a man that would give you the shirt off his back.  He was a man that loved my Mama.  He was a man that loved his family.  He was a man that worked many hours for his fire district.  He was a man of FAITH.  He was a man that was loved by so many.  He was a man that wore many coats...from farmer to fire chief.  But most importantly...this man was my DADDY. 

 

I still can't believe that it has been 11 years since I last heard him tell me on that Wednesday afternoon of Feb. 5, 2003...that he would see us for dinner and ended it with...I LOVE YOU.  To the someone that told me it gets easier after you lose a loved one...you lied!  (Daddy always hated liars-ha!)  It has not gotten easier. In fact some days get harder as the days turn into weeks...weeks into months...and months turn into years.  I just find ways to cope with the loss of my Daddy...but let me tell you...it's NOT easy. 

 

He rode out that Wednesday afternoon on his fire-engine red "special fire-fighter edition" Harley...never to return home...instead to meet our dear Lord. 

 

I know he has continued to be with us...just wish I could get at least a few more hugs.  His hugs were the best!!! 

 

Until we meet again...Thinking of you today and always.  Thank you for being the BEST Daddy anyone could ask for.  Thank you for being my HERO. Thank you for being YOU!

 

Until next time...tell that someone that you love...just what you're thinking of...
If tomorrow never comes.

 

Happy Feb People

Did you all see this commercial during that BIG football game everyone is talking about? Ha! I can honestly say I really didn't watch the Superbowl game...but my sister sent me a text asking if I saw this commercial?



Tomorrow...FEBRUARY 4th is WORLD CANCER DAY.  So what can YOU do??? Change your profile pictures on facebook, instagram, twitter, etc to PURPLE...many of you have "JAMIE" ribbons/support  as your profile pictures...thank you!!! Can I ask you all a favor??? Those of you that don't have some kind of PURPLE as your pics...change them for tomorrow!!! Show your support for those that are fighting, those that will have to fight, and those that we have lost because of this battle.



So many of you know "my life"...but those of you that do not...let me get you up to date.  I had a scan last week...and my tumor markers were drawn again.

*scan shows that chemo is WORKING...no new "areas of concern", etc...PTL!!!

*tumor markers came down by 119 points.  Yes...it is still high...however it is coming down and my team of doctors were VERY happy to say the least.



My medical oncologist said something like this..."I was seriously getting worried since your markers kept increasing...but now with the scans and your numbers coming down I am very pleased...we will keep doing what we are doing".  I responded "You and me both...I was getting worried also".   Then off to chemo I went.  Round #5 was successful...7 more rounds to go. 



On another note...there are some of you that know this and many others that don't. I debated on sharing this...but I know that more prayers are needed for what I am about to share.  In regards to this commercial above...it really hit me hard. Listen to the lyrics of this song.  I sat there and thought wow!  I have been a "single"...legally married mama to 2 little girls and fighting cancer. I have not had my husband around since Sept. 2012...I have been fighting with the help of my FAMILY and my very dear FRIENDS and my FAITH which has kept me going.  Yes...I have ALL 3...actually its more like this now...FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDS. FOCUS, FIGHT, FUTURE. (Thanks Miss J)



I never imagined that while fighting cancer and going through chemo that I would be served with divorce papers...but yes...I was. Yuck...I hate that "D" word.  I know...impeccable timing-not!  I have to chuckle because I think to myself this is just lovely.  Then on the other hand I think some people forget that I am a VERY tough girl...so I am thankful for this time and can't wait to write this very interesting chapter into my book. 



I am not going to sit here and bash "him" or "her"...they aren't worth me wasting my precious time...all I can say is many people should remember the golden rule :)  It's pretty simple...do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 



I now have 2 battles on my plate...what some have forgotten is that I have a pretty big plate...I think it is also metal plated by now-ha!  This is just another bump in the road that I like to call...MY LIFE. 



THANK YOU to those that have been with me since day one of this journey...those that have heard my story and support me...those that are strangers that are inspired...and to those "few" that read my blog...praying that you will make a difference someday.



Until next time remember this...Your beliefs don't make you a better person...your behavior does! BE GOOD. DO GOOD.

Where are YOU from?

I am amazed by all the new supporters that I run into, get emails from, or actually have friends and family see them wearing "Jamie" shirts and the random strangers assure them that they have been praying for me...because they have followed my story from my blog. 

Well again today I received more awesome comments and even one from Canada -Thanks A. :)
So I was thinking it would be fun to see where all of my followers are from...It would actually kind of be fun to see how far my story is reaching.  From California to Indiana to Florida and in between to out of the US. 

So how about this...comment below and let me know where you are from...and perhaps how you became a follower.  This will be fun...I will then make another post and let everyone know. 

I have an average of about 1500 readers for every post...so lets see how many of YOU will respond? :)

Ready, Set, Go...

Until next time...Thank you all again for your continued support and prayers. xo

Songs...will YOU pray?

Many of you know that I relate a lot of  "my life" to songs...I think I will start sharing at least a song a week to let you know what I am relating "my life" to maybe at a particular time.

Well with that being said...I have contemplated on whether or not I should mention this...but instead of sitting here and worrying for the next 2 weeks...I am coming to ALL of YOU. I am asking that you pray...and pray some more. You share this blog on and get more people to pray.

As you all know I have to get my labs taken before I start any chemo.  They are concerned with my blood counts making sure they are high enough to receive chemo. Along with my complete blood count...they are interested in checking my liver function and of course my "tumor-marker" my CA19-9.

You are all mostly aware of the reason why I went for a "2nd opinion"...that was the fact that my CA19-9 kept creeping up...a little at a time...but it has been creepin. Which I really haven't shared this...because "some" will  talk and I don't need the negativity...I ONLY need positive vibes and people in my life that truly care...those that are here to help me, pray for me, send me texts from the heart, emails that mean so much, cards in the mail, surprise gifts in the mail, and phone calls that brighten me day. (Believe me...I appreciate them all...you'll never know how much you all mean to me.)

I have to remind you that when I was first diagnosed back in November 2012 the CA19-9 was at 1617.  The "normal" should be under 36.  So ummmm yea...that is a concern...well then I had the WHIPPLE and my counts dropped to 121.  I began chemo and radiation and it bounced around back to over 1000 and then back to the hundreds...then as low as 54...but it started to climb...and has been climbing for a handful of months now.

My count as of yesterday is at 471.  My awesome team of doctors mentioned at my last treatment 2 weeks ago that if this round showed an increase still...scans would be ordered.  Well as you can see...they are elevated...so in 2 weeks I will have had 2 months worth of this "go-round" of chemo...so I will have a PET scan prior to round 5...yes, on the same day even...we will determine if there is...DON'T even want to say this "C" anywhere else...and if this regime of chemo is what is best for me.

NO...this isn't a "I am giving up" post...instead it is a "I am a bit discouraged" hoping that this chemo is what I need to be doing since it has been so brutal on my body.  I am posting this because I know I have a TEAM behind me that prayers, cares, and loves me...I need YOU all more than ever to send me positive vibes and prayers.  I need to feel at peace these next 2 weeks as I am dealing with this round of chemo and "trying" to get the what-ifs out of my mind...before I have another PET scan. 

 I pray that this is what I need to be doing... I pray that God continues to give me strength as I deal with this fight...I continue to pray for my babies that they continue to be strong as they are 2 of the toughest little girls you'll meet...I continue to pray for my doctors that they are so knowledgeable and never lose hope on me...I pray for my family and friends that are watching me fight this battle...I pray for a CURE!

Until next time...I will remind myself of this...I can. I will.  Phil.4:13

By the Grace of God...

For those of you that truly know my "situation"...you know it has NOT been an easy one.  I am not just dealing with my "C" stuff...but all the stuff that comes along with being a "single" Mama raising 2 little beauties that I call mine.  This song speaks a lot...one day I looked in the mirror and decided to stay...well I never left...I have been here raising my girls and trying to do the best that I can with what I have.  All that life has thrown my way has only made ME a much stronger person. Thankful for the Grace of God that has kept my feet one in front of the other and been with me through it all.