H.O.P.E.

So over a year ago...Sweet S tried to get me to go to CTCA...I don't like change.  I was content as to where I was going for my treatments and didn't want to ruffle any feathers.  And so life went on...
until one day VERY recently I was going through my closet and all of the sudden this silver- pin fell to the floor right before my eyes.



I thought to myself for a minute that it was a reminder that there is ALWAYS...HOPE.  But I didn't think too much more about it.  Because I was "fine"...until...

I was ordered to have a CT scan by my "previous" med-onco office since my CA19-9 kept increasing.  After several calls to get the results and then the call on a late Friday afternoon stating: "There are areas of concern and something on your liver...but don't worry! We have to get your order CT scan to compare...BUT... Have a good weekend!" 

Go back 4 days prior to the above phone call and I had left from getting my CT scan and Miss R a RN-school classmate had sent me a text inviting me to lunch with her for that day. I showed up wearing a V-neck shirt which she could see my port. Next thing  I know she casually ask me when the last time I had my port accessed.  I kinda chuckled, "Oh you know when I last finished Gemzar about 3 months ago." Let's just say Miss R about chocked on her lunch and about fell out of her chair as she said, "WHAT?!...you need that accessed about every 4 weeks". 

Here is where my life changed...out of her mouth came the words..."WHY DON'T YOU COME TO CTCA?"...I shrugged my shoulders and she was determined to get me to talk to the right person to see how I could become a patient there.

I didn't realize how important this CHANGE (yes sometimes scary) could/would be.

I filled out the necessary paperwork, spoke with the intake RN and the ball got rolling faster and faster.  I was a "new" patient there from the time I met Miss R for lunch it was less than a week later... until I was meeting all my NEW team of doctors and nurses to getting the necessary test ordered.

As I was getting done with my PET scan at CTCA the "previous" office was leaving a message on my phone saying "Everything was Ok!  Any questions that I could give them a call"...at this point I had the biggest knot in my stomach...I kept thinking if I had "stayed" there...what would be the outcome? :(

I knew that I had made the most life-changing decision and that was to go elsewhere and actually determine why my CA19-9 kept increasing and possibly why I had been so tired which I had mentioned to the doctor and the reason was always: "It will take your body time to heal".

I am forever thankful to Miss R and her giving me that push to seek the answers to MY health.  If you can't be an advocate for yourself...have someone do it for you.

I knew I was at the right place NOW...when on the day of being diagnosed with "Met-Pan-Can"...Dr.K's nurse manager called me into her office to get my schedule and as I am walking away she says...
"Jamie...You've got this!"   It was at that moment that through the tears...I realized YES...I can do this...again!

I feel there is always HOPE and being at CTCA has reassured me that there truly is!

I enjoy being treated like a patient...and not just some random lottery drawing number.  I have been given the opportunity to do things that will heal my whole body and not just trying to shove chemo down my port and then onto the next step...instead I am getting my chemo...having acupuncture (for my nausea and neuropathy)...having a weekly massage (yes they do that there too)...having my labs drawn for everything that can affect my well-being (etc.vitamin levels,too)...the list goes on and on. 

I am fortunate that I am able to be a patient there and wish I would have taken the advice of Miss S over a year ago...but like I said change is sometimes a scary thing...but it is a GOOD thing!

Until next time...I am gearing up for round #2 of chemo in just a few short hours...continue to pray as I continue to FIGHT...and certainly will ALWAYS hold onto HOPE!