Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Faith, Family, & Friends

What does Faith, Family, and Friends mean to YOU? 
 
I have often wondered what it would be like to not have any of the 3.
I know how alone I would feel and not be able to endure what I have gone
through in life and how miserable life would be.
I have gone through a lot...more than most people would ever imagine.
Just to name some of my most significant events...
 
1. 3rd week into college got the news that my Mama had breast cancer
2. On 2-5-2003 losing my Dad in a motorcycle accident
3. Being diagnosed with stage III breast cancer on 5-31-2005
4.  Huge heartbreaks...
5. Diagnosed at the age of 34 with Pancreatic cancer.
 
All of the above are pretty serious issues...and some wouldn't know how to cope. Some might turn to a "bottle" to cope with the pain, hurt themselves, or be destructive in some way. I on the other hand lean on the 3 "Fs" as I like to call them.
 
FAITH
 I have been asked this..."Don't you blame God?"...NO!I do not. I believe HE only gives us what we can handle.  Yes I am not going to sit here and lie about everything and say its all been a picture perfect life.  But I promise you this...God hasn't left my side...in fact he's been there with me through everything. As Mia K. sang at my benefit concert the other night..."God is Good...yes, God is Faithful" I am not by any means sitting here "thumping" my Bible-instead I have a relationship with God and know that he is my ultimate healer...my redeemer...and I trust in him. I know that in this journey-we must live each day to the fullest and we are given each day because God has created this beautiful thing we call LIFE.
 
FAMILY
What would I do with out my people? As I have said it before...I am who I am because of them! For those of you that know me...know just how important my family is to me.  I could be the richest person on earth and have the best of the best of everything...but if I did not have my family-I would have nothing! My family has been with me and through so much together. I believe that because of our trials and tribulations-we are stronger than most. 
 
FRIENDS
When we are young children we think little Johnny or little Mary will be our best friend forever. It isn't until we are older and realize who are "TRUE" friends are...the ones that laugh with us, cry with us, do crazy things together-but most of all love us for who we are.  It wasn't until I graduated from high school that I learned who my "friends" were. Even as I became an adult I still was learning who I could trust...who was "real" and who just put on a front.  I appreciate all my friends who have been with me through it all and love me for ME!
 
So now that I have shared about my 3-Fs...I hope that you have at least one of the 3-no one should be "alone" going through life. To have all 3 is something that I can say that I am truly Blessed.  I know that with all 3 of the Fs-I can beat this battle...and victory will be won!
 I thank God for giving me another day...my Family for being mine...and my friends for loving me.
 
Until next time...continue to pray!
 

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Where it all began...

For those that don't "personally" know me...let me introduce myself. 
I am JAMIE. An Arizona native. A 34 year old. Mama to 2 beautiful girls. Daughter, sister, aunt, granddaughter, niece, cousin and friend to many.  I was in block 3 of RN school-had one more to go. Dealing with life-the best that I could...and trusting in God that he would get me through the hurdles in life that I had to overcome.  Never in a million years did I imagine what would happen next...

You see it was just 5-31-2005,at the age of 27... that I was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer.  I had to undergo chemo and radiation-not to mention the surgeries...In 2010 I was considered cancer free. I had fought that fight...and kept looking forward knowing that cancer always was in the back of my mind with the "what ifs"...but I couldn't dwell on that. Instead I lived life to the fullest (or so I thought)...I have my yearly oncologist appointments where they check my blood and do an overall check up on me.  I had just seen my onco dr a few months ago...and everything seemed to check out just fine.

So fast forward to August 30,2012...I had been dealing with a LOT of abdominal pains/discomfort but associated it to the stresses of nursing school. The pain was so intense that I decided I would drive myself to the ER. Well that didn't work out as planned-my Mom dropped me off and my cousin and his girlfriend came to my rescue and spent 5+hours with me in "my" room. The doctor scolded me, "Well little Miss Nursing student...you've got yourself a few days stay inpatient".  My pancreas was enlarged-and they associated everything to acute pancreatitis...even after ct scans, mri and an ultrasound.  After 6 days and my "lipase" levels still elevated the GI doctor decided to discharge me that they weren't doing anything that I couldn't do at home. Thank you-cause I was starting to dislike the 3rd floor-room 16.

Post-hospital check up with GI-still having pains...decides its my gallbladder after having a HIDA scan...so off to the operating room for Halloween.  A few hours later I was good to go with 4 very small scars to explain my "big" surgery.  Doctor's orders: Rest for 5-7 days...ha! Who were they kidding  I was in clinicals for RN school-so it was 3 days down and on the 4th day-11.5 hour clinical for me.  No pain...no gain!

Everything seemed to be going as planned...until the day before Thanksgiving. Out of no where I started having abdominal pain that felt as if a horse had kicked me.  I dealt with it and associated it to my recent lap. cholecystectomy=removal of gallbladder.  But the pain wasn't subsiding, in fact it was getting worse.  It was Saturday night of Thanksgiving weekend that I noticed now my eyes were YELLOW-yep jaundice is never a good thing.

What do I do now...my girls were sleeping...I was a little freaked out...and thought oh I could just call the doctor the following morning.  NOPE! Wasn't going to happen...I called my nursing school class mate/earthly angel A.K.A.-Allison...and her response: "Call you Mom-she can come stay with your girls and I am on my way-you ARE going to the ER." 

Off to the ER we went...arrived at 12:01am on November 25. Boy was that a great people watching experience...as RN students we tried laughing with each other as most of the people in the waiting area probably had no business being there.  It made the time go by faster...

Jamie?! "Yes, that is me!" I was triaged and asked what brought me there? "Well Gallbladder out 3 weeks prior...now having severe pain...a LOT of itching...oh and yes my eyes are jaundice"...the arrogant medic in the ER-looked at me like RIGHT!-I spread my eye lids open..."OH YES-they are jaundice" Grrrr note to yourself-don't even underestimate someone when they say something is "abnormal" with their body.

So off to the hall in the exam area-yes that's how crazy the ER was...so Allison by that time had been up 26 hours and exhausted-so why not...she curled up in my bed with me. Not to get too comfortable before the ER doctor explained she wanted to get a CT scan right away on me.  I returned back into the hall...and next thing I know I hear the doctor "quietly" talking to another doctor "Yes she's 34 with a history of breast cancer...yes and the mass..."  What?! This must be all a mistake.  I told Allison, "She's talking about me!" -She reassured me that I should not assume the worst until they come talk to me.  Well the RN that was taking good care of me-now no longer giving me eye contact...nor was the doctor coming and talking to me. Well what seemed like eternity...the sweet doctor came over with watery-eyes..."May I sit down in this chair she asked?"...She began to explain they had found a MASS on my pancreas.  I could either stay at that hospital or be transferred to the hospital that seemed like my home 7 years prior with all my breast cancer stuff.  Off to Thunderbird I went...

It was room LLA-room 1 that became my home for the next 6 days.  SEVERAL tests-scans and lab work that went on day after day after day.  The only thing that kept me sane was ALL my visitors that would come and see me.  I pretty much had a party EVERY night in my room-I didn't want down time to think of the what could possibly be.  My family and dear friends kept  me company...brought me flowers, well-wishes, rubbed my back and prayed with me. 5out of the 6 days I was under some type of anesthesia for all the procedures I had to go through...it seemed like a really bad dream...but on the 6th day it was confirmed...now at the age of 34 I was up again for another round. 

YES...I was diagnosed this time with PANCREATIC CANCER...this seemed to be a total mistake but nope-it was not.  This new diagnosis explained all the pain and discomfort I had been experiencing. What would I do next...FIGHT!!!

I have always counted on my FAITH-FAMILY-and FRIENDS to be there for me...and never stray away from me. I know that the 3 "Fs" will be there for me again through this fight. I know that this battle is a lot to overcome...but I am not, nor will I give up.  Prayer is powerful...attitude is everything...and I still have a life to live!

So I've got my gloves on and I thank you for standing in my corner with me...WE have a fight to win!!!

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me! -Phil. 4:13