Update...to this roller-coaster day

Back at center...word is...
The GI doctor does not feel it is "new"-progression.
Yes...there is still disease ("c") there...but it is NOT
new progression.
What ever the case maybe...I'm staying on same chemo
And I appreciate all your prayers. My heart is much
Lighter now...as a few hours ago I felt like I had been
Hit with a hammer.
Prayer is a powerful thing!!!
Until next time...I will continue on this journey...my life!

Last night I asked Why? Today...

Last night I made a post about asking WHY?  Today...I asked myself right now...do I keep quiet for a bit...or do I ask you to pray.  The answer was simple...I said a prayer and I ask that you do as well.

Let me explain.  My mind is going a million miles a minute...so please excuse my frazzledness...yes I know that is not a word...but I am going to use it.

As some of you know last week I had 2 more stents placed in my abdomen-in my "whipple" surgery area...boy did that hurt.  The doctors showed me the "area" they were "working with"...it looked like a strand of hair from the narrowing compared to the rest of the duct area that looked like an earth worm on the screen.  The question was...is the narrowing from the actual surgery and scar tissue...or was it in fact "C" that was causing the narrowing...

The doctors took a lot of biopsies and brushings of the area and sent it off to pathology...

Well fast forward 6 days...which would be today...and I arrived at CTCA for my scheduled appointments and round 11 of chemo...

HERE IS WHERE YOU NEED TO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY...YES I AM  SCREAMING-ha!

Well the biopsy report has come back and confirmed that my disease has progressed...YES...the biopsies confirmed the "area" showed "C". 

What does this mean??????????????

Well either one of 2 things...it may have been there for awhile or this is something new.  Question for the doctors to determine if the chemo has truly been working and I am to remain on that regimen or if they need to switch chemo to another one and go from there. 

My team of doctors are working together as I type this to determine what chemo I am to get. 

I have come home for a quick bit to take a deep breath and wait for the phone call as to when I am going to return today.  I left with them reassuring me and telling me I will be getting chemo today...just not sure exactly what at this point.

Questions you may be asking... Am I scared?-Honestly NO! I have been through the whipple surgery and more...this is just another punch I have taken and have my gloves up ready to keep fighting.

Am I a bit discouraged?-Yes...who wouldn't be...well lets be honest...as my dear friend and fighter Ted mentioned at CTCA yesterday when he got some discouraging news last week...he was pissed!  Well excuse me for what you are about to read...but I too am a little pissed at the moment.  NOT  at my team of doctors...but at the fact that "C" thinks it can keep doing this.

Have I told my girls?...NO!!! I dropped them at school before heading to CTCA and will talk to them this afternoon.

Is this horrible news? Yes-because I HATE "C" very bad at the moment...but NO-because God gave me another day to wake up and I know this too shall pass.

I am actually feeling a sense of peace as I continue typing this and realizing how grateful I am for my doctors that they did the ERCP last week for my stents...and not just that ...but they actually went further to investigate and this is how they found what they did. 

I ask that you continue to uplift not only my family and I in your prayers...but my team of doctors that they will be guided to what needs to be done.

Until next time...this girl may have gotten the wind kicked out of her a bit ago...but I am going to keep fighting as I always have been.

Tonight I ask...WHY?

I have often wanted to make a post like this...then I hesitate. I don't want one to think I am being "negative" or having doubts...but enough is enough!

What in the world am I talking about?  Well..."C"...those that have followed me know that I refer to that horrible, awful, no-good word...cancer as "C". I hate to even type out the 6 letter word.  No I am not being negative...nor am I giving up on my fight...but I will tell YOU all this...I am SICK and TIRED of hearing that word and how it is affecting so many people. 

Yesterday I was sitting at "Miss Amy's" funeral as she so courageously fought metastatic breast "C"...and then tonight I am hearing about my cousin's dear friend Ryan who is fighting so hard for his life as he too has been fighting "C".

When will it stop? What needs to change? What can we do?  How much more do we have to go through?  How come our families have to suffer so bad as they watch their loved ones fight for their life?  Why can't they CURE it?  Who will be next that has to fight this fight? 

These are all questions that many of us wonder and often ask ourselves...WHY? 

Well I am no scholar or claim to know everything about this horrible disease...but I do know this it changes EVERYTHING!  Some things it changes for the better...and some things it unfortunately changes for the bad. :(   I DO KNOW THIS...keeping positive all the time is sometimes difficult...but NEVER GIVE UP!!!  Attitude is everything as I remember my Grandma Marjy on some of her last days as she wore her "Never Give Up" shirt...it makes sometimes the hardest days...not so hard.

Please remember when you might be having a "bad" day...the person next to you might be fighting a battle...a battle to live...a battle to see tomorrow.

So I have a request: Please remember to keep Amy's family in your thoughts and prayers...and Ryan's family too...as he fights...Candi in your prayers as she lost her Mama to "C" on Easter...Ted whose marker #s have elevated. Gosh! Forget it...I can't keep on naming everyone lets just pray for all those that are fighting...and those families that are grieving the loss of their loved one. 

Until next time...I  still ask WHY?...but will remember  that "C" is a word...not a sentence!     

For You...Miss Amy





Last night I got a devastating email that really tugged at my heart strings...
I got the news that a fellow "fighter" didn't receive the news that they wanted to hear...
in fact the news isn't good at all.  But as I laid in bed and shed a lot of tears...all I could do was think of the song "There Will be a Day" by Jeremy Camp (video above).


I looked back at an email this *(see below) special person sent me about a month ago...it goes like this...

"Jamie you are an inspiration to me and I think of you often.  Thanks for talking with me, it reminds me that I'm not in this alone." 



Well what they might not realize is what an inspiration they are to me...and so many others. 



Thank you for being YOU. Miracles do happen and I believe that there will be a day when there will be NO more suffering. 



We love you and continue to lift you and your family up in prayer.



Until next time...praying for those fighting this battle.


*I wrote this blog post early today...and didn't want to "name" my fellow fighter...however more people are now aware of the situation and I think it is ok that I ask you all to pray and send positive thoughts to Miss Amy and her family. 

Miss Amy was my daughters dance teacher for a few years.  More importantly when I think of Amy I think of her infectious smile and her curly hair. 

More recently when I first learned of her diagnosis...I reached out and wanted her to know that she could call me any time...we could laugh, cry, or scream together as we were both fighting "C" and I was an "experienced" fighter having already fought breast "C"...

I then mentioned that my girls have truly been blessed to be able to attend "Kids Can Cope" and encouraged her to check it out for "N"...well my heart was happy when we walked out of the elevator and onto the 3rd floor headed to "class" and there sat Miss Amy's aunt as she brought N there for Kids Can Cope. 

Know that you are loved so very much Miss Amy and again...Thank you for being YOU!

Been a little bit...

http://www.kpho.com/video?clipId=10019411&autostart=true

The above link is from an interview I did last week. It aired today on our one of our local channels. The Pancreatic Cancer action network-Purple Strides event will take place this Sunday, April 6th  downtown Phoenix.  I will be the SURVIVOR speaker.
Come out and show your support.

So it's been a little while...as some of you are aware I was having SEVERE and I can't stress how severe the pain was. On a scale of 0-10...I would rate it a 15. It was similar to "back labor" for those women that have experienced child birth. The pain would start in my lower back and radiate to my abdomen.

Well for someone going through what I am going through the doctors first thought is oh no...this is "C" that we were dealing with. We'll after several scans and being monitored...it was determined that is was not more "c"...instead issues from the whipple surgery.

So my GI doctor along with his associate took me in for an ERCP and placed a stent in my "surgical" area where there was some narrowing. I'm a proud patient to say my doctor is very intelligent and the pain (knocking on wood now) has not come back.

I have since gone on and received more chemo...Monday was #9.  If all goes as planned I will have 3 more cycles. I am kickin "C" and reflecting on all that I have been through to this date. I am proud to and think I have the right to say this...I am a SURVIVOR...I am still fighting...but I am seeing the light at the end of this curvy tunnel.

My girls are doing well...they keep me fighting and I know they are truly my little angels.  I can't wait for a year from now to look back and think Wow! That was a crazy time in our lives...but we are survivors because of it.  It's the little things in life that we go through that make us who we are.

I am so grateful for my friends and family that have stood with me...and my Faith for keeping me strong.   Thank you again for being with me on my journey...the one I like to call life.

Until next time...I am seeing lots of purple and ready for the weekend.