Nov: Day 15-Fasten YOUR Seat Belts

Folks! I don't know where to begin or exactly how I should start this post.  I have told you all THANKS for being apart of my journey and I pray that you will all continue to be apart of it.  Well we need to all sit down to read this one...and fasten your seat belts as this ride is far from over.

These last few days have been nothing short of a fair ride spiraling out of control.  From getting the call of "areas of concern" on a CT scan...to having a "good" PET Scan...to my CA19-9 "increasing"...to being called last night to say my new doctor wants to get an MRI on me.

So I arrived at the clinic today to go through with my appointments that I had scheduled.  BUT...I was greeted by a very polite scheduler to inform me that the doctor actually didn't want to wait until next week for my MRI...instead it would be performed today at 11am.

Today was going just as planned...met with GI, then off to radiology for my MRI. I was greeted by another great RN and she reassured me as she too is a SURVIVOR.  I sat there as she accessed my port and off to the exam area.  I walked in and greeted by the tech there.  Given some ear plugs, a blind fold, and some music to listen to.  For those of you that have had an MRI know how "claustrophobic" this can be. I just took a deep breath and laid there as still as I possibly could. About 1/2 later I was finished and off to the cafeteria my Mom and I went.

After lunch I was scheduled to meet with the medical oncologist.  I was nothing short of impressed with this new doctor.  He immediately asked me what I knew of my scans, CA19-9 levels, etc.  I reassured him that I knew everything that had been going on, and that I was pretty savvy when it came to knowing about my health and all the issues that I have had to deal with.

He began to tell me the results of the MRI...

HERE IS WHERE I NEED YOU ALL TO READ THIS CAREFULLY...I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY FALSE RUMORS OR "STORIES"...THIS IS WHY I BLOG...THAT WAY IT IS STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSES MOUTH...

Yesterday, YES! We got a "clean" pet scan...however my CA19-9 levels told a different story. This is where I am grateful for the proactive doctors that I now have.  The MRI revealed today that in fact there is a "lesion" on my liver.  The size of it was TOO small for the PET scan to pick up, the onco dr also mentioned how sometimes certain cancers aren't even detected on the PET scans...therefore the CT SCAN (11-5-13) was how it was detected and the MRI was what confirmed it today. This lesion is more than likely a metastasis of the pancreatic cancer that has "gone to visit" my liver.

My heart sank...it truly did! I am up against "C"...I have been fighting this fight for almost a whole year...but have just been thrown a curve ball.   My options would be to "wait" and see what the CA19-9 would do, and no biopsy since it is so small.  OR...get my fighting gloves on and face "C" with the aggressive route.

I think you should all be able to figure out the answer. I have 2 little girls that need a Mama!!!  I am not willing to sit around and let "C" take control.   I will have a endoscopy and colonoscopy on Tuesday...then we (because we are all in this together) will start CHEMO on THURSDAY.  If it was up to me we would start chemo tomorrow...but I know these additional tests have to be completed first.

I am in a state of shock-that is an understatement.  I knew that I would always have to fight to live...but didn't expect to be told that I would have to go through chemo again.

I am sorry to drag many of you through my emotional roller-coaster of all these events...but I need you all more than ever. I need you to PRAY...and PRAY HARD.  I need the positive thoughts sent my way. I need you to not only uplift ME...but my precious BABY girls that will now see me fight harder.  I will have a lot of different side effects as this chemo will be more "potent" from the last one.  I will also more than likely for sure lose my hair this time. (I will save $ on hair-products...ha!)

I have a lot to do these next few days...I am going to enjoy my girls ( as I always do), and I am thinking we will have to do pictures again before I start the poison again-yikes!  If I had a jet...we would probably fly to Hawaii...but that won't happen-so maybe after my treatments-wishful thinking-ha!

I know many of you will be at a loss for words once you read this post...its ok. I am TOO! I have my dukes up and ready to fight.  At this time don't lose HOPE, keep the FAITH, and remember God only gives us what we can handle (wish HE didn't trust me so much-ha!)

Until next time...hug your family tighter because we never know what tomorrow may bring.

I apologize if you had to read this and not heard it directly from me...I can't keep re-telling this story.  I have to focus on what needs to be done...that is to enjoy this weekend with my babies before I start another...or continue this battle.  Thank you!