Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Drum Roll Please...

So as you know yesterday I got my 3rd dose of Gemzar and my Neulasta injection today. For those that know...before every chemo I have to get my blood drawn to make sure my counts are "good"...so my white counts were great...4.5 up from 2.1.  Which I believe the previous neulasta has a lot to do with it...I also believe that what I've been doing a lot of lately is HELPING...JUICING!!! Yep LOTS of veggies and lots of oranges. I have read that there isn't too much you can do for your white cells to increase other than staying away from sick people...but that vitamin C and B12 helps. So that's what I have been doing. 

Insert Drum Roll Here...........

So I'm on my way home from getting Neulasta and Dr. Ondreyco's # pops up on my phone. Anytime I see this number I know I've got to answer it...
Lisa is a chemo RN and Tim is Dr.O's back office MA...here's how the convo goes

Lisa: Hey Jamie it's Lisa from Dr.O's and I am here with Tim.
Me: hello!
Lisa: Well we wanted to call and give you some good news
Me: (I was thinking huh??? I just got chemo yesterday and I really don't know what this could be about)-ummm ok!
Lisa: Well we want to give you your tumor marker #
Me: What?!  I haven't got it drawn again
Lisa: Oh yes! We drew it yesterday...you just didn't know it
Me:OK! (still scared!)
Lisa: Jamie!!! It has gone down to 121...and I wanted to be the one to tell you this news
Me: Lisa are you sure you have the right patient  (Tim laughing in the background)
Lisa: Yes-Jamie Daniels-March 10th 1978...drawn on yesterday's date 4/29/2013
Me: Are you sure you're not trying to do a April Fools prank since its the last day of April...wait! Can you tell me that number again?! It's 129???
Lisa: (now chuckling too) No! It's 121... I can email you a copy of this report
Me: I believe you!!!
Lisa: Now you get on your blog and your prayer page and you tell them ALL that their prayers are working...and they need to keep up what ever they have been doing for you.  You deserve this good news and I am so happy for you.
Me: Oh Lisa! Thank you guys so much for this call!!!

Once I hung up reality hit me!!! Last week when I met with Dr. O she mentioned that I would be getting my tumor markers drawn in a few weeks...and although trying to remain optimistic...reality was that she was quite concerned too and that if my #s were not down...I would be adding yet another chemo to my regimen that I am already on.

Yes I am now starting to feel the pain and side effects from this neulasta...but I feel like shouting at the loudest that I possibly can...GOD IS SO GOOD...I CAN...AND I WILL BEAT THIS!!!

Thank you for your prayers, positive thoughts, and support...I am beyond happy right now!!!
So here's to more positive attitudes, TONS of praying, and Lots of juicing! :)

Friday, April 26, 2013

WHY?...

Why this? Why now?...

Well by now it is no surprise to most of you of what is going on. Yesterday we were informed that my Mama will be facing another fight with breast cancer...again.  She was diagnosed with stage 2 back in Fall of 1996.  She underwent a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation followed by 5 years of being on Tamoxifen.  She has gone EVERY single year since then to all her check ups with Dr. Ondreyco.

My Mama is NOT one to just sit and wait and watch and wonder if something is to grow or change or disappear. Instead as in 1996 NO mammogram picked up her tumor-instead it was her monthly BREAST SELF-EXAM that she discovered her "lump"...her "female" doctor at the time told her "not" to worry about it...they would watch it and go on with life.  Not the answer you tell my Mama...instead she contacted a good surgeon and was persistent on getting "it" taken care of.  A short time later the lump was removed and wouldn't you know...it was "C". 

So a month ago she had her yearly mammo...and a "suspicious" spot showed up on the opposite breast from before...it was her Left one they were concerned about.  So last week she secretly went in for a biopsy...she didn't want to tell me or to worry me (she got a hand slap from me-ha!)...but anyways she went in and it "popped" like a water balloon...which was a good thing.  But...

Then she asked them to check out a "spot" on her chest between right and left that was a little abnormal. It had been there for maybe a few months and I had mentioned going to a dermatologist.  She asked the doctor performing the biopsy if she could recommend a good dermatologist dr.  The intelligent dr said, "Oh-Dr. Ondreyco would want me to cut this out for you...I am just going to do it...NOW!"

So fast forward to yesterday-APRIL 25th,2013 @11:30 am...My Mama is at Dr. Ondreyco's office...and Dr. O walks in with disbelief and shakes her head saying of all people...You and Jamie...I don't know why you have to both go through "C" again...but you are going to get through it!

Today we went in for an appointment with my radiation doctor-Dr. Taw...love her (as if you didn't already know this)...but after leaving her office I felt a sense of HOPE again...I believe in my heart that my Mama has caught her "C" early enough that her treatments will be minimal...BUT there is always the BUT...we won't know anything until next week until she has her MRI and PET scan. 

I was pretty emotional yesterday and felt deflated like a huge balloon falling and didn't know what would be next...today I feel as though someone has refilled my tank with POSITIVE air and I am still fighting stronger than ever...a little weak...but fighting!!!

This morning as I curled my hair...I said out loud this exactly..."Daddy...if you can hear me and know that I need you...send me a sign!"  Well I am not going to share what he sent me...but as my Mama and I sat down to lunch-we got it! Thank you!!! I know that God is with us and my Daddy who I am missing more than ever lately is near us.

So as I finished my hair and put on a layer of lip gloss...I got a call from sweet Miss Kelly who is in charge of the Kids Can Cope group that Taryn and Maesyn attend.  She asked how I was, as she always does and then informed me that "the" video was done.  So for those that haven't already seen it...check it out. (Link Below)

You ask WHY? How can a family go through so much and keep on keepin' on...it is because of OUR FAITH-FAMILY and FRIENDS...How can I keep going on and getting some of the punches that I get...this is WHY...Because of my angels. 

I LOVE YOU Taryn and Maesyn you are too young to have to know so much...but you are what puts a smile on my face, a song in my heart, and the will to SURVIVE! Forever always...YOUR Mama I'll be.

I don't necessarily realize why my Mama and I have to go through our 2nd battles with "C"...but  I do know that we are pretty tough chicks-ask anyone that truly knows us. I might not ever know...but I do know that God has a purpose in this crazy thing we all call LIFE...and in the end we will have a story or 2 to tell and be able to encourage others and make a difference...no matter just how BIG or how small it might be.

As I am reminded daily...God gives His battles to His toughest Soldiers...Thank you for being apart of the ARMY of PRAYER warriors!!! Until next time...enjoy the video :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlepeNCyL8o

Monday, April 15, 2013

And God said..."Be still"

These last few days...I have to be honest.  I have doubted my FAITH at times...and wondered how? Why? and What if?  Let me explain!  Some of you are/were aware of my concerns...and I can honestly say my FAITH was tested again!!!

So as most of you know my CA19-9 (tumor marker which they check through blood test)..."should" be for the normal human UNDER 36.  The week I was diagnosed it was reading at 1617.  After the whipple it had gone down to 117...then about 5 weeks ago it had INCREASED to 170+...so the Dr. O being the PRO-ACTIVE doctor that she is...had her medical assistant call me and say that I needed to retest my CA19-9.  Well I go in on April 4th to have my blood drawn...and then comes last Monday which I should have gotten my 2nd Gemzar.  Well with my WBC count being low I was not able to and immediately asked, "Well what about my CA19-9"...and then that is when my sweet RN Becca went on a hunt to track down those numbers...next thing I know the PA is coming over to my chair to inform me that my level was at 1305.  I FREAKED!!!  Then came the many tears...I drove down Bell Road headed to the 101 crying out to God..."Please!  Don't let this be"...And then a few more hours of crying and I put a call into the doctor office...left a message stating "If my tumor markers have gone so drastically high..lets get a PET scan or CT scan to ease my mind".  That night the sweet PA called me and told me exactly this..."We got your message...we know you are concerned with your CA19-9 being so elevated...so are we!"   They agreed that a "STAT" CT scan would be ordered...and would be done depending on insurance approval.

What seemed like FOREVER...really only 2 days...insurance DENIED it...so Friday I went back in to see if the 4 neupogen shots had done their job for my WBCs (which they did)...and as I go to leave I was informed that my insurance had APPROVED the CT Scan thanks to my doctors office fighting for ME!

I immediately called Banner scheduling and they said..."Can you come now!"...I was on my way and drinking barium.  The simple 10 minute test isn't the worst part...it is the waiting game...waiting for the results and hearing what is going on or is not going on.  So this weekend I tried to keep my mind busy and focus on other things...but the CT scan results were lurking in my mind and driving me nutty. 

So fast forward to TODAY...I go in with high hopes of 1. that my WBCs would be high enough to get chemo. 2. That I would hear those words I so long to hear from the CT scan.

SO...
1. My WBCs have dropped from 7.9 to 2.28 so still very cautious about being around people...however it is the neutrophil count that is really important to look at...it has to be at least 1.5...ladies and gentlemen...THIS girls count came in at 1.53. Is that not a miracle??  I know most aren't so excited to say wow! can't wait to get chemo or so excited to get it...but it is one step closer to the finish line.

2. After finishing my almost 2 hour treatment session...I asked once again for my CT scan report...and it was tracked down and read exactly this:
"NO CT evidence of tumor recurrence or metastasis at the level of the chest and abdomen.  Stable post-op changes. No liver metastasis."
Folks...I want to go run on the top of the mountain and scream this... "GOD IS GOOD!"  My doctor obviously says "we will watch it"...possible reason for CA19-9 being elevated...false/positive result or actual high reading from the chemo and radiation doing what they were/are suppose to do and the reading is elevated.

Tomorrow I will go back in for my very expensive, and VERY painful injection of NEULASTA...that is for my WBCs which is longer lasting than the neupogen...it boosts my cells and causes SEVERE bone pain.  I will most likely receive a neulasta now after every chemo.  I CAN DO THIS!!! (Phil 4:13)

I know I will have many ups and also many downs fighting this battle...I have to remember who "IS" in charge and as he said, "Be still and KNOW that I AM GOD" My FAITH has been tested...and once again I am reminded NEVER to give up!

Friday, April 12, 2013

What would have been week #2...holding onto HOPE!

Written-Thursday April 11th...
Well Monday (April 8th) was no different than the 1st treatment day of Gemzar...but something said otherwise.  My white blood cell count was at 0.6 (Normal above 4.0)...so you got it...no chemo. Instead I got to start the lovely Neupogen injections.  I have been going everyday and getting them. I am in hopes that tomorrow when they draw my blood my white cells have increased.  If they have not I will get another injection of Neupogen and wait until Monday.
Fingers crossed that my counts are up so I can get going with these treatments...these shots are giving me REALLY bad bone pain.

BUT...
As my chemo nurse and the PA were concerned with my WBCs...I was wondering what my CA19-9 (tumor marker) results were?! I had gone in last week (April 4th)...and I was wanting the #s.
Well Becca the sweet chemo nurse kinda gave me this strange look when she came back by...well long story short...she saw the results...and showed the PA.  They both walked back over to me, as I sat there in the chemo chair. My result read: 1305.
I began to get really upset...tears rolled down my face. I explained that when I was diagnosed my CA19-9 was at 1617...after whipple surgery 117...then it climbed to 175...now this?!?!?!  I have got a lot of people telling me not to worry..to worry...why it could be...why this and that.  Well my oncology office has ordered a STAT ct scan of chest/abdomen...however my insurance isn't being so cooperative. They have denied it...and as of this afternoon...my onco doctor has to "fight" with my insurance to get me covered. 

I have had sooooo many emotions running through my head these last few days.  Just praying everything is OK...until I get my ct scan...and a peace of mind...my mind isn't so peaceful right now.  Please pray that my insurance says OK...and that I can get some answers within the next few days.

I will end with this...I haven't given up...I am not losing HOPE!  I am holding onto a lot of H-O-P-E! In fact before I left the chemo room on Monday...Becca (Chemo RN) came back over to me and handed me an angel and on her back read: HOPE! I thank you for that Becca...thank you for letting me cry and helping to remind me to never lose HOPE!
*********************************************************************************
UPDATE: April 12th...I arrived to get my labs to see if the neupogen was doing its job...well from 0.6...my WBCs increased to 8.0 :) PRAISE THE LORD!!! Pray they remain high until Monday for when I go in for chemo...that I am able to get it!!!  While I was there at the office...they had also informed me that my insurance had reconsidered and actually had just sent the authorization # for my ct scan. 

Next thing I knew...I was headed to Banner Estrella to get my ct scan.  I am on edge now...just waiting for those results.  Pray they are good!!! Until then...I shall keep myself busy with resting :)

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Gemsar...Week #1

So Monday (April 1st) I began my first dose of Gemsar (chemo)...it didn't take too long. I was hooked up through my port and from the time I sat down in the chemo chair till I left...it was just under 2 hours.  Much better than carrying the chemo pump around...or how it was 7 years ago for me...sitting there for almost 6 hours.

The most common side effects of this chemo are : flu-like symptoms, nausea, vomiting, low blood counts, and fever...one of the LESS common side effects=Hair loss. (so we shall see). By the 1st night after getting Gemsar...I was experiencing some of the side effects...but by Wednesday I started to feel somewhat "normal".

The chemo RN took my blood obviously before starting my chemo and my white cell count has once again decreased.  It was still "OK" to receive the chemo.  Tomorrow (Monday April 8th) I will more than likely get a neupogen injection before I get the chemo.  Then Tuesday I will go in for the ever so nasty NEULASTA injection.  Neulasta and I are NOT friends...that injection was given to me 7 years ago...anyone that you ask that has gotten a neulasta injection will agree-the pain stinks!!!  Not to mention the $10,000 price tag for just ONE injection. All I can say is I am not looking forward to the ridiculous bone pain. OK...I think you now understand I HATE (very STRONG word) NEULASTA!

I also am praying for good "tumor-marker" levels...my last one had actually elevated and I am praying that it has come down...tomorrow I should be getting those results.  As most of you are aware...my CA19-9 was at 1617 at T-Bird hospital back in November when I was diagnosed.  The normal level should be UNDER 36.  So after my whipple surgery and part of 5FU chemo and radiation...it decreased to 117...then it went back up to 175.  I am praying it was from all the inflammation from radiation.  (Seeing how I have since had a CT-SCAN and nothing showed up)

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers!!! God is good...we just need to be calm and have FAITH in HIM!!!

Until next time...I will be enjoying my day with my girls before I start round #2 of Gemsar.