In the RIGHT direction

My tumor markers are checked through blood tests about every month...the "normal" is under 36...but for those that don't know my CA19-9 journey...let me explain. When I was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer November 2012...my CA19-9 was over 1600.  Then it was onto getting the whipple surgery and right before I started my first round of 5FU chemo it was at 178...then 117...175...then it leaped up to 1305 (my doctors and I were pretty freaked out to say the least)...then miraculously it came back down to 121...now it is at 58.  This is a BIG deal to me!

I truly believe in the POWER of PRAYER!!! God is so good and HE is with me always...especially through my "journeys" or should I say my battles in which I fight to survive.  Thank you God for loving me and continuing to give me the strength that I need as I continue to fight "C". One day at a time...but it's days like today that I want to go scream with excitement that I can. I will. 

I appreciate all the LOVE, SUPPORT, and PRAYERS from all of you.  I appreciate all the knowledge my doctors have in guiding me through my fight.  I actually appreciate myself for having the will to survive, the courage to keep fighting, and the determination to show others that it can be done. Never give up!!!

Until next time...this girl is keeping her dukes up and staying strong!

Milestone: Happy Birthday T

When I was diagnosed on 11.30.12 with Pancreatic Cancer...I didn't know, nor did my doctors know my prognosis.  We hoped and prayed for the "best"...but in the back of every one's minds weren't sure and knew about the "worst".  I was emotionally drained one night as I laid in the hospital room at Banner T-Bird and cried.  I was praying that I would be around for Christmas...and my daughters' birthdays.  So since "D-Day" as I refer diagnosis day to...I have celebrated Christmas, New Years (in the hospital), Valentine's Day, Easter, Mother's Day and look forward to years to come of all the other holidays that we will celebrate together.

Today however is especially a special day for me.  Chemo was moved to tomorrow just for this special reason...TODAY is my oldest daughter's 11th Birthday.  Taryn Rae was born at 3:07pm on July 8, 2002...weighing in at 8#8oz. She has changed my life to see what really matters.  It is the simple little things we get to do together that mean so much.  She has shown me what "I-LOVE-YOU" means.  She loves me unconditionally as I do the same for her.  I am so proud of who she has become and all that she has ahead of her. 

Ask anyone that knows her and they will describe her as a beautiful little girl, who is sweet, and all that she has gone through in her 11 years...she is wise beyond her years. 

THANK YOU God...for giving me the courage to fight as I am able to celebrate another birthday with my BIG girl.

Today if you are able to...hug your children young or old and tell them what they mean to YOU!
Children are a precious gift from God and I am grateful that He blessed me with 2 beautiful baby girls that call me Mama.

Until next time...Here is to MANY more birthdays!



Taryn Rae-
Today you turn 11 years old...where has all the time gone? I can remember Dr. Kennedy placing you in my arms and thinking oh wow!  I reflect back on all our special memories...from bike rides, camping trips, school events, doing girlie stuff, to all your dance recitals.  You have always made me proud and are such a simple little girl.  You are happy with whatever we are doing and appreciate what you have.  Thanks for being YOU.  You make me so proud to be called your Mama.  I know as you get older life will get a little harder...but always be yourself.  Don't change for ANYONE...be true!  Keep a smile on your face and know that YOU are loved...very much!  Forever always-Mama

Raising Arizona Kids

Raising Arizona Kids came to one of the Kids Can Cope meetings a few months back...you might have seen this video by now :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlepeNCyL8o&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I seriously cry every time I watch it.  So proud of my babies and all the kids for their bravery as they have to learn how to deal with living day to day and not knowing what tomorrow brings.







This experience is just another positive one being part of a group that is helping my girls, along with other kids learning how to cope with Parents dealing with Cancer.
 For more information on KIDS CAN COPE:  http://www.bannerhealth.com/Locations/Arizona/Banner+Thunderbird+Medical+Center/Programs+and+Services/Cancer+Care/Kids+Can+Cope/_Kids_Cancer.htm

Until next time...realize you never know who is fighting a battle...cherish the little things in life that aren't "things". Tuck them into bed, say their prayers with them, and tell them "I Love YOU", and "I am so PROUD of YOU".  Its these simple little things that make a BIG difference.

For S & Z

So last night was like any other night driving to Kids Can Cope...but I really was paying close attention to the awkward sky...it wasn't your typical AZ sunset...or Cloudy blue sky...instead it was that gloomy looking sky...one before a storm rolls in.  I thought to myself...perhaps it was our Heavenly Father sending us a sign that Heaven was opening up...for perhaps the 19 firefighters that lost their lives...or someone that I knew...but I had no idea. I just said a silent prayer and continued driving my girls towards the hospital where they meet twice a month. 

Let me explain about the whole "sky-experience"...whether it has been a family member or friend who has passed...there has been some wicked weather and I like to think of it as they are sending us a sign...that hey...I am in a better place...for instance...after we lost my Dad...it literally rained and I mean rained HARD for Arizona to where things were fields were flooded...I still remember the smell of my Mom's front yard...covered in rain water.

So back to last night...

I figured since Taryn turns 11 on Monday...It would be cool to stop and get a snack for her to share with all the other kids. So why not?...would it make us a tad bit late-yes.  But I wanted to make her feel special as birthdays are a BIG deal to me. 

So we walked onto the 3rd floor of the hospital 7 minutes late.  Better late than never is my motto in life :)  As I sat down Kelly the director of Kids Can Cope shared the magazine that featured us in it (next blog)...I was proud seeing all the kids and what they had to say about coming to the group.

Next thing I look up and I see "S" walking to wash her hands from an activity they were doing in the group. Out of my mouth I asked this simple question, "How is your Mama doing?"...
(Her Mama...I met a few months back as she brought her babies S & Z to Kids Can Cope...she had been battling Colon/Breast Cancer)

It was at that very moment that I saw this young teenage girl answer my "simple" question with the soul of a 30+ year old. She looked into my eyes and calmly answered "She passed away this morning at 6:15"

I got out of my chair to give her a hug...that is all I could do...I was shocked and in disbelief...tears began to fill my eyes...which soon turned into tears rolling down my face.  I reassured her that we are there for her and her brother and that if I could do anything...please contact me. 

She shared with me her mother's wishes and what she was planning.  What teenager should have to witness their Grandma and then a little over a year later their Mom lose their battles to this horrible disease.  My heart aches for S & Z!  When I looked into her eyes tonight...I saw a girl that I know as a Mom...her Mama is sooo proud of her. Her strength is amazing and I know there will be good days and bad...but this young lady is something quite amazing!!!

I pray for comfort for S & Z and know their "Angel", their Mama is NO longer suffering anymore. Stay strong you 2...you have a story to tell and I know your Mama is always going to be with you!

So folks...you see when I saw that sky tonight...it wasn't my eyes playing tricks on me...it was simply God saying...She's no longer in pain...she is in a much better place!  When we drove away Taryn and Maesyn asked why I was quite upset...I answered...because tomorrow is never promised...we have to keep living day to day and live life to the fullest-while making a difference.

Until next time-uplift S & Z in your prayers!

Mama, Grammy, Miss Pammy Update

So just gonna get this off my chest...I sometimes, very-much, absolutely DISLIKE insurance companies. Many of you know of all the time we have spent waiting and wondering if my Mama's insurance would approve her scans...and after 6 long weeks...it was taken care of...well sort of...they never did approve a PET scan...so we went about getting her scanned a different way...
Then she started radiation on Monday...which she will have 20 treatments...and was prescribed a "chemo" pill...which she is to be on for the next 5 years. 
Well, well...wouldn't you know...DENIED by insurance so now Dr. O is having to fight with them once again...in the mean time she gave my Mama samples that has her covered for almost a month.  This insurance stuff is getting out of control!
 
Questions you have all asked...
What stage is my Mama's breast cancer?- There is not a so-called stage...Dr. Taw said we will consider calling it "Recurrent Breast Cancer".

Will Miss Pammy take time off of Preschool?  Yeah-Right! Are you kidding me...she is a trooper and was out getting school supplies already. She worked through her first round in 1996 with Chemo and Radiation and NOTHING stopped her...as NOTHING will stop her NOW! This will be Child Enrichment Center's 30th year making a difference in so many children's lives.  So proud of her and all the little lives that she has touched over the years.

Why doesn't she have a mastectomy?  Well first of all its personal choice...which she asked her Dr about...and the location of  her current "battle field" is NOT going to benefit from such a drastic surgery.  Best stated from Dr. Taw...having a mastectomy is like removing fat from a piece of raw chicken...you Never get all the fat off...there will always be some left on...well that is like having a mastectomy...true they are able to get "most" of you breast tissue...but there will be some left over.

How is my Mama doing?  She is doing fantastic...yes just like me...if you just saw us at the local grocery store, Target, or in Church...and didn't know "our story"...you would have NO idea!  

As you often hear, "Ain't nobody got time for that"...Mama/Grammy/Miss Pammy really doesn't have time for this little battle...but she has her gloves on and is beating it once again!

Until next time...we are realizing God truly gives the battles to his toughest Warriors. God is giving us the strength to carry on!

Just sayin'

DISCLAIMER/CAUTION/WARNING...what ever you want to call this "unnecessary" post...
 For those of you that think my blog is depressing...or negative. there is a simple fix to that...hit the ESC button, or back space or what ever makes your heart happy. This blog is from MY heart...events that go on in MY life...or what I have encountered, endured, or continue to have to deal with.  Thanks to all the HUNDREDS of people that read my blog daily and have commented on what an inspiration I am to them! This blog is to inspire, encourage, and help OTHERS cope with what they are faced with. I think I am accomplishing MY goal by all the emails and comments that I receive.  If I have made the difference in ONE life...then I have done something positive...Thank you for your continued LOVE, SUPPORT, and PRAYERS!
-Until next time...SMILE! :)

*19*

So you all have been following me on my journey...but I also share MANY "life" events...I can't go without sharing this...my heart is so heavy tonight and  I feel it's blog-worthy. 

 

For those of you that know me...I have been around the fire service even before I was born. My Dad was a volunteer fire-fighter...until he made the ranks of Fire Chief.  I guess you can call me an adrenaline junkie...I LOVED going on 9-11 calls with him...whether it be a 962 (wreck with injuries),

a fire, just your typical injury call.  I would go with him night after night...excited to help with the next one...waiting for the "Big" one. I was 19 years old when he encouraged me to go ahead and get my EMT-certification. If I was going to be on the "call"...I seriously should make good use out of myself. So being around the fire service from a baby to adult...I know how important "FAMILY"

truly is.  Being a part of the fire service...you are a FAMILY and are there for each other in good times and in bad. So here's to those lives that were lost on 6.30.2013-Yarnell Fire

 

 

Graphics above were created by me...it' the least I could do to show my support for those affected by the fire...if you would like to...copy and paste it on your instagram...or face book pages to support YARNELL and all those affected.-Jamie

 

 

19

(Written by: Jamie Daniels...straight from the heart)

Sunday 6.30.2013 was probably just like any other ordinary-typical day,

The Granite-Mountain hot-shot crew was there to do their job and didn't know what else to say.

They could see the flames from miles and miles away,

but didn't realize how fast the winds would begin to sway.

They cut and sawed the brush that they could.

They walked and talked trying to control the mighty beast,

Praying that the wind would die, and the flames would calm down to say the least.

They had flashbacks of what they were doing the night before.

Were they with their loved ones...or being summoned to the fire before they could shut their door.

So many young lives were put on the line,

but knowing that is what they do the best as they shine. 

Did they have kids or a spouse that was waiting for their arrival,

Or could they see the ultimate fight was up for their survival. 

There are so many questions as our state mourns and our hearts will ache as we wonder why

But their memories must never die.

They didn't know that their life would soon be shattered

instead they did all they could...and that is what mattered.

To the 19 lives that have been lost you no longer have to roam...

For you now have been called home.

 

 

 

 

19 fire fighters lost their lives in the Yarnell (Arizona) Fire.  It is such a shock...from one night seeing my cousin post pictures of a "small" brush fire his department was fighting...to over night the winds shifting and causing such tragedy for a small Arizona community.  Please keep the fire fighter's families in your prayers. Pray for containment on this fire...pray for the firefighters still having to fight this beast...and keep those that have lost their homes or have been evacuated in your prayers.