Breaking the Silence...

*While cruising down the Pacific Coast Highway  near Laguna Beach, CA-with my girls last week...the ocean to my right and tourists walking down the side walks to my left...this song came on.  I thought how fitting to me...we don't know what tomorrow will bring or some of us (including myself) don't know what exactly we are to do with our lives...but there is a REASON...and the reason is to live, love, and appreciate all that God has given us.



******YES I AM YELLING...I WANT YOU TO READ THIS BOLD STATEMENT******

BEFORE I START THIS BLOG POST...I MUST WARN YOU...I HAVE NOT FALLEN OFF MY ROCKER, I HAVE NOT, REPEAT NOT GIVEN UP, I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY NEGATIVITY FROM ANYONE, I WILL SURROUND MYSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE AND POSITIVE THINGS.  SOME OF YOU WILL NOT AGREE WITH ME, THAT IS FINE TOO...TO EACH THEIR OWN.  OTHERS OF YOU WILL THINK WOW...THIS GIRL IS CRAZY.  OTHERS OF YOU WILL SUPPORT ME.  MANY OF YOU HAVE FAITH IN GOD, AS I DO, AND KNOW HE IS THE ULTIMATE HEALER.  SO WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID...NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS...I WILL NOT ACCEPT THEM...INSTEAD OPEN YOUR MINDS TO WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SHARE WITH YOU. I HOPE THIS POST GOES VIRAL.  INFACT... IF I CAN CHANGE ONE OTHER PERSONS PERSPECTIVE ON "FIGHTING THE FIGHT"...THEN I THINK I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING GREAT.  SIT DOWN...THIS MIGHT TAKE A MINUTE TO READ.



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Hello...I am back!!! Well to be quite honest I never left.  Just needed some rejuvenation.  I have been keeping "quiet" and focusing on what needs to be done.  Done with what you might ask?  Fighting the fight and beating this "C".  I last left you all hangin with saying I would have a surgery that really has only been around for a few years...where they would go in and "burn" out the tumor area within my bile-duct.  Well that is no longer an option. My GI doctor doesn't feel comfortable with the area to work with. I will see him again next week and we will decide when I will go back in and exchange my stents...this is amazing so far...last few times they have only lasted about 4-5 weeks...we are creeping up on almost 8 weeks and shooting for 12 weeks.  So after I left from meeting with him...I knew I had to go another route of getting myself HEALED. 



I had met with I will call them "earthly" angels...talking to me about juicing more faithfully, eating organic, no meats, etc...I was wanting to go that route...but still was scared!!!  Not gonna lie.  When all I have been doing is chemo, chemo, and more chemo...I didn't know there was more to the healing process...because  I wouldn't open my eyes.  I had my blinders on and only saw it has a one way street...I didn't know there were other options and other alternatives. 



So after my last chemo...I told myself that I had to seriously pray about what I needed to do.  What needed to be done to get myself healthy.  I couldn't take another round and continue to feel the way I was feeling.  I couldn't stand leaving the clinic and coming home for 2 days with a pack of poison going continuously into my body. I needed a break from the poison...



Then one day I get a call from a highschool friend that asked me if I had watched the "Chris Beat Cancer" video?  For those of  you that have not seen this guy...check out this link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_k3B0y0tjCg



Please watch the above link.  It is an 11:30 video...worth every minute of your time.  It was that video that gave me a sense of peace that I was going down the right path...or at least I would be going down the right path. 



I met with another naturopath dr and he has been guiding me in the direction I need to be going.  The very first time I saw him he asked me a lot of questions...however his words will forever stick with me...get rid of all negativity even if it involves people in your life, I can only be around positivity...then he asked if I believed in God...if I pray...that I would become closer to Him and have Faith.



So since that day of meeting with we will call him, Dr. Mc Serious...I have dedicated my life to getting healthy again.

I am not going into detail of everything...you can email me if you are interested...however just a little glimpse into a typical day:



*2xdaily drinking baking soda

*Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar-drinking it

*Ton of supplements

*Plant based protein shake with hemp hearts, flax seeds, chia seeds, almond milk

*rebounding 10 minutes at a time

*48-64oz of ORGANIC veggie juices -LOTS of greens. Not so much on fruit. And freshly juiced not V-8 out of a can

*DoTerra essential oils

*Castor oil packs

*LOTS of PRAYING

*Get sun each day

*LOTS of POSITIVE thoughts

*Drinking only spring water with a ph of 8.0 or greater to make my body less acidic

*NO MEATS



I know the above might sound a little crazy and ALL NATURAL...but hello folks! What is better to keep shoving poison down my body or perhaps HEAL it NATURALLY with what my body truly needs??? You tell me...hmmm!  The answer is obvious to me.  Again...some will disagree as they already have...but THIS IS MY BODY...I am healing ME!


Well I have faithfully done the above mentioned and last week had my labs drawn again...CA19-9 is at 77. The lowest it has ever been was right after whipple surgery when it was at 54. Mind you...I was diagnosed and it was 1,617.  So as you can see it has been all over the board.   Do I think its just a "fluke" deal or do I think it is because of what I am Doing...well I have Faith that it is truly because of what I am doing.  My liver function test (ast/alt) also decreased, along with my alk.phos going from 279 down to 149.  You be the judge...but I know that God is healing me!!!


So fast forward to this week...Monday I go into the clinic and meet with my team of doctors...mind you the only one that knew I was "taking a chemo break" was my fave dr...she had met with me last Friday and agreed with me.  My body needs a BREAK...it won't be the "C" that will kill me...it would be the chemo.  I have been going through chemo with the pan-can ever since Jan. 2013...ummm hello my body is tired!!!   She also informed me that my
"team" might not agree so much with me.  Well little did I know just how much they wouldn't necessarily like my decision.



Monday was like any other ordinary meeting with them. I go into the room and the sweet RN takes my vitals, goes over my med list with me...then the team comes in one by one and evaluates me.  I informed them I was NOT doing chemo that day...infact I needed a break. They informed me how I would need chemo for the rest of my life.  This is what I heard next... these were some of the negative responses  I got:



"Your CA19-9 really can't be a good indication if your "C" is growing or not" (well lets see...every time it is elevated the red flags come up...now it is decreasing and we aren't going to care that much about it)



"I am so glad you are following your heart...then moments later...how do I say this...You know your quality of life will be better not doing chemo...but your longevity will not" (wow! that was something I really wanted to hear on a Monday morning)



"Instead of coming here...maybe you can just go to your PCP to have labs drawn...Well I am glad you are doing what makes you happy...have a nice life" (Ok...so I don't agree with continuing poison into my body and so you'll throw me to the curb)



***DRUM ROLL PLEASE... and this is the best one that tops them all



"Well I am glad you are going with what you think is best for you...but we want to give you the option of palliative care"...you know HOSPICE"  As I sat there with I could feel tears building up in my eyes...I was like what?!  Proceeded with "You know you could go on service with them, they offer good counseling"  As I shook my head NO!...was then asked..."So you aren't interested in Hospice...you know you need to think about your girls and not just yourself"  (Well lets see I know how Hospice works...I am a believer in it...I worked in case management and would arrange for hospice ALL the time working at a hospital where it seemed like 85% of patients were 80 years or older...and only had 6 months or less to survive.)



Well as I gathered my purse and my belongings....I felt as though someone had just kicked me in the gut.  It took a few minutes from still being in shock...to then a little bit of anger...to then going to the nearest grocery store and buying more organic vegetables to come home and juice.  I wondered how people can go from as I put it to my family "rainbows and butterflies" to people that are so very negative and give you the worst feeling ever. (That sure isn't what their multi-million dollar ads advertise...hmmmm!)



Is it the evil dollar that drives people to think this way...that only chemo is going to benefit me?

Is it that they are not educated outside of the box? They don't know to much about the other alternatives?

Is it that they could "get in trouble" if they didn't do what the gov't/drug companies are telling them they should do?



Is it that any of the above, or all the above. I don't know. Quite frankly I really don't care...I just hope that no one else has to feel the way I did on Monday. I am not giving up HOPE...I am FIGHTING...I am getting my body HEALED not by poison...I am not ready to die.  I see life in a whole new perspective. 



I will be monitored...but as of now I am on vacation from chemo...I am feeling a little bit better each day.  My color is better.  I have put on a few more pounds.  My hair is slowly starting to feel better. My girls are seeing that I feel better. I am living LIFE!



The down side to going more "natural" insurance doesn't always cover what I need...so that is what I have to let go and let God take control of.   



Until next time...as "RoseMarie" says...Just show up for life and let GOD do the rest! There truly is a reason why I am still here today. :)  Never give up and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.



People have messaged me asking what they can do and if I could share with others who want to help...well number one send me positive thoughts and prayers for an ultimate healing.  If you would like to donate...I say this...gift cards are the easiest-I must eat whole/ ORGANIC ( not trying to be a snot...but it is the protocol I have to follow)...so I shop at Whole Foods, Sprouts, or  Frys the most.  If I could physically go get a job today...I would...but I have to get myself healed!!! Other places for gift cards-Target, Walmart, or Visa ones...or I do have a paypal: and the email address for that is: missjamiesjourney@gmail.com

THANK YOU to all of you that have done so much for myself, and my girls over these past almost 2 years.  I am appreciative of everything you all have done!!! HUGS <3