Tonight was just another reminder of how proud I am to be a "BUCKEYE" girl. There are the outsiders that may laugh-when you say you are from BUCKEYE. But I can honestly say it is a good thing. I look-back when BUCKEYE was just "main street" and anything else was just farm-fields and people thought we really lived in the boon-docks. Growing up "out here" you would appreciate when you got to go into "town"...now it seems like BUCKEYE has grown so much and we don't have to drive so far to get anything. Not all change is bad :)
This isn't what this post is really about...its about a community that has ALWAYS been there for me...and my family. I can think back as if it were yesterday...Feb.10,2003 and as we pulled away from the First Southern Baptist Church on the way to the grave to lay my Daddy to rest...seeing all the many familiar faces and not so many familiar faces-saluting the fire truck that held my Daddy's casket...standing there at almost complete attention...to those waving American flags. It was that week of after he passed that hundreds gathered in my Mama's front yard...brought dinners...and offered their condolences that we were reminded...WE are BUCKEYE and we all stand together!
Then I had my Breast Cancer battle in 2005...and then again-reminded that WE are BUCKEYE...no matter how BIG the fight...I had lots of support. I was able to fight that fight and I did it with obviously not only my own determination and strength that God gave me...but with the help of everyone that was in "my" corner.
Now Round #2 with Cancer...this one a much greater battle. Yes I look pretty good if I should say so myself...but I have to keep living life and not focusing on what is "really" going on. If I sat and dwelled each and everyday about my "PAN-CAN"...then I would be a blubbery-mess. Instead I have the attitude that I have already beat this...I know that in the next few weeks once chemo and radiation start my strength will be tested once again...but I know I CAN and I WILL do this!!!
Which leads me back to the once little farming community of BUCKEYE. It truly is TRUE...when one of us is FIGHTING...we are all fighting together. I like to just "show-up" to the T-shirt/decal pickups. I never tell anyone I'm coming...it just makes it that much more special. So tonight when I saw many people that I have known for MANY years...it just reminded me that I still have so MANY in my corner. I appreciate all the LOVE, SUPPORT, and PRAYERS that you all have shown/given me. I am proud to have you in "MY" corner and thank you BUCKEYE for sticking together as a community!
BUCKEYE INFO:
Buckeye is a town located west of Phoenix, AZ. Population of over 51,000. Has great weather year-round...if you're brave enough to stay during the summer months :)
A large amount of Mexican food restaurants, and your typical fast-food chains...Thank goodness for the new CAFE 25:35.
You get to see a tractor or 2 driving down the road from time to time.
Best part...growing up you can't wait to get out of town...but it's this community that somehow...you find yourself always wanting to come "Home" and proud to be a part of. (I know many of us probably talked about not being able to get out of BUCKEYE soon enough...but now we are "OLDER" and have kids of our own...that I wouldn't want it any other way)
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
ALOE VERA, PINK & PATRICK
FIRST OF ALL...I want to remind you of this...MY blog is strictly from the heart...my opinion and just a way for me to cope/heal with what I am going through. If I offend anyone or say something you don't agree with-sorry in advance. I am not a medical doctor...nor do I know everything. I will say this though...only being 34...I have experienced more than some 80+ year old woman when it comes to health "issues".
With that being said...let me get started.
What is so special about ALOE VERA...well let me share MY personal experience and in hopes you would spread this little info and help others going through my similar situation.
It was Fall of 1996 when my Mom was going through her stage II breast cancer treatments. She was having chemo and radiation after her lumpectomy. It was into her 2 week of radiation that her radiation oncologist asked-"What are you doing"???? My Mom replied-"What do you mean...I am here for radiation today"?!?! He responds-"NO-your skin would normally be like a red stop sign and you would be miserable. Her response-"I am drinking ALOE VERA faithfully and applying it to my radiated skin each and every day after radiation-because the Dear LORD told me"... The doctor then goes on to say-"Out of my 20+ years of practicing you are only the 2nd patient with these same results and yes the other patient did ALOE VERA,too!" My Mom feisty as she can be said,"THEN WHY DON'T YOU TELL ALL YOUR PATIENTS"???
His response..."It's not FDA approved". So life went on as we knew it and my mom would tell others...
Fast forward to June 2005...I had my mastectomy for my stage III breast cancer and immediately started drinking ALOE VERA...once I heard of my treatment plan...I kicked up the ALOE VERA and drank a little more each morning-either like a "shot" or would mix it with some fruit juice. Once I began my radiation after my chemo I continued to drink it along with applying thick ALOE VERA (that actually came from a local dairy) that had other vitamins and nutrients in it. I would open the tub it came in and literally smear it on my skin as if I was a bagel...and spreading cream cheese all over. I looked like a cupcake with key-lime tinted green frosting all over my chest. I didn't care...I knew that it was doing its job. After 27 radiation treatments...I can HONESTLY say I never even turned a shade of pink.
I have known ALOE VERA to help people with IBS, and other health issues. ALOE VERA has so many natural benefits...that I wish EVERYONE would drink a "shot" a day. :) Over the years of sitting in the oncologist office for yearly check ups and I have often seen other patients barely able to swallow or function because of their intense radiation-I am NEVER ashamed or afraid to ask them if they know about ALOE VERA. I often think back to this sweet Hispanic family that was sitting in the waiting room waiting to see Dr. O-I could see the pain in their Fathers face. I began to ask if they had tried ALOE VERA...the son looked at me like I was the smartest person he had ever met. He then stated-"WOW! I never even thought of that...as kids that's what we would also drink-we would go outside to our ALOE VERA plant and then mix it in with some water"..."Or tear a piece off the plant and apply it to our sun burns".
I feel that if I can help one other patient or their family member going through radiation (which is like a sun burn x100)...by sharing my experience and then it will snow-ball and they can share their experience...then ALOE VERA will be part of their "treatment" plan.
So I've moved onto PANCREATIC CANCER awareness...PURPLE ribbons...how many of you know when the awareness month is? How many of you know the signs/symptoms? How many of you know how SERIOUS this cancer is? Exactly...I didn't either until I was diagnosed. Well I have learned that after that "PINK" month...NOVEMBER is actually PAN-CAN awareness month. How many purple ribbons do you see in November-I know...me neither! :( Signs and symptoms are so "silent" at times...that PAN-CAN really can be a silent killer. It is PAINLESS and grows without the patient even feeling a thing.
Some of the symptoms might be: weight loss, jaundice, dark urine, light color stool, itching, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, back pain. Oh and just to throw it out there...I had EVERY one of these symptoms...I related everything to nursing school/stress...up until my eyes were jaundice-then it was off to the ER.
CANCER is horrible...we ALL know this. What I HOPE and PRAY for is that there TRULY is a CURE out there...that we all stick together and fight for it!!! NEVER lose the FAITH, STRENGTH, and DETERMINATION to WIN! We are ALL in this thing together called LIFE...and yes we CAN ALL make a DIFFERENCE. BE AWARE OF YOUR BODY and ANY CHANGES!!!
Until next time...continue to PRAY, smile and as my pharmacist at Walgreens says..."stay well"
XO-Jamie...fighting CANCER and staying positive
With that being said...let me get started.
ALOE VERA
So some of you have heard my little rant about ALOE VERA. Yes that yucky stuff you can drink and just about buy it anywhere (Target, Wal Mart, GNC, VItamin World). Also the stuff comes in gel form to apply to your skin-oh yes that's right the stuff you use after bathing in the sun and your skin feels like its on fire. YES-ok now that I have your attention. What is so special about ALOE VERA...well let me share MY personal experience and in hopes you would spread this little info and help others going through my similar situation.
It was Fall of 1996 when my Mom was going through her stage II breast cancer treatments. She was having chemo and radiation after her lumpectomy. It was into her 2 week of radiation that her radiation oncologist asked-"What are you doing"???? My Mom replied-"What do you mean...I am here for radiation today"?!?! He responds-"NO-your skin would normally be like a red stop sign and you would be miserable. Her response-"I am drinking ALOE VERA faithfully and applying it to my radiated skin each and every day after radiation-because the Dear LORD told me"... The doctor then goes on to say-"Out of my 20+ years of practicing you are only the 2nd patient with these same results and yes the other patient did ALOE VERA,too!" My Mom feisty as she can be said,"THEN WHY DON'T YOU TELL ALL YOUR PATIENTS"???
His response..."It's not FDA approved". So life went on as we knew it and my mom would tell others...
Fast forward to June 2005...I had my mastectomy for my stage III breast cancer and immediately started drinking ALOE VERA...once I heard of my treatment plan...I kicked up the ALOE VERA and drank a little more each morning-either like a "shot" or would mix it with some fruit juice. Once I began my radiation after my chemo I continued to drink it along with applying thick ALOE VERA (that actually came from a local dairy) that had other vitamins and nutrients in it. I would open the tub it came in and literally smear it on my skin as if I was a bagel...and spreading cream cheese all over. I looked like a cupcake with key-lime tinted green frosting all over my chest. I didn't care...I knew that it was doing its job. After 27 radiation treatments...I can HONESTLY say I never even turned a shade of pink.
I have known ALOE VERA to help people with IBS, and other health issues. ALOE VERA has so many natural benefits...that I wish EVERYONE would drink a "shot" a day. :) Over the years of sitting in the oncologist office for yearly check ups and I have often seen other patients barely able to swallow or function because of their intense radiation-I am NEVER ashamed or afraid to ask them if they know about ALOE VERA. I often think back to this sweet Hispanic family that was sitting in the waiting room waiting to see Dr. O-I could see the pain in their Fathers face. I began to ask if they had tried ALOE VERA...the son looked at me like I was the smartest person he had ever met. He then stated-"WOW! I never even thought of that...as kids that's what we would also drink-we would go outside to our ALOE VERA plant and then mix it in with some water"..."Or tear a piece off the plant and apply it to our sun burns".
I feel that if I can help one other patient or their family member going through radiation (which is like a sun burn x100)...by sharing my experience and then it will snow-ball and they can share their experience...then ALOE VERA will be part of their "treatment" plan.
PINK...PURPLE
Onto PINK...now this is a SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER. Yes! Obviously you know by know if you didn't already-I had stage 3 breast cancer-went through a double mastectomy at the age of 27...but I am ALIVE!!! I lost a few friends that I met along the way to breast cancer-and I hate it...just like any other cancers. Well here is my next little rant. I use to sit in nursing school and one of my dear instructors made the comment about how we all see "PINK" ribbons... for breast cancer but what about RED ribbons for heart disease?!?!? Good question. At first I got offended thinking-if she only knew. But then I took a step back and thought absolutely...today our society markets a LOT of things just to make that extra dollar. Who knows when BREAST CANCER awareness month is??? Of course-you do its October...we all see the PINK hats, shirts, stickers, pens, candy,jewelry, etc, etc,etc...but why if WE all keep buying this stuff year after year is there NO cure??? I tend to disagree and think deep down there is a CURE...but how would these large corporations continue to make money if they can't "market" the PINK ribbon. They are able to continue to reel in millions of dollars-but where does the money really go?!?! We ALL need to be aware of ALL cancers...So I've moved onto PANCREATIC CANCER awareness...PURPLE ribbons...how many of you know when the awareness month is? How many of you know the signs/symptoms? How many of you know how SERIOUS this cancer is? Exactly...I didn't either until I was diagnosed. Well I have learned that after that "PINK" month...NOVEMBER is actually PAN-CAN awareness month. How many purple ribbons do you see in November-I know...me neither! :( Signs and symptoms are so "silent" at times...that PAN-CAN really can be a silent killer. It is PAINLESS and grows without the patient even feeling a thing.
Some of the symptoms might be: weight loss, jaundice, dark urine, light color stool, itching, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, back pain. Oh and just to throw it out there...I had EVERY one of these symptoms...I related everything to nursing school/stress...up until my eyes were jaundice-then it was off to the ER.
PATRICK
The seriousness of this disease is just this...how many of you all had a "CRUSH" on the good looking PATRICK SWAYZE? I'll admit it...I sure did-even as a little girl. He was a good looking man who many watched on the BIG screen...but then we often have forgotten how he "passed" on...yes it was PANCREATIC CANCER that he fought...and sadly lost his battle. It is what just took place this week that put a smile (if that sounds right) on my face. Patrick's Widow-Lisa Niemi Swayze took it to congress and finally got FEDERAL attention on how serious PAN-CAN is and the lack of resources and treatments available. PAN-CAN is one of the top cancer-killers-with a 5 year survival rate. According to reports-PAN-CAN will be the 2nd leading cause of cancer death in the US by 2020..and possibly as early as 2015. CANCER is horrible...we ALL know this. What I HOPE and PRAY for is that there TRULY is a CURE out there...that we all stick together and fight for it!!! NEVER lose the FAITH, STRENGTH, and DETERMINATION to WIN! We are ALL in this thing together called LIFE...and yes we CAN ALL make a DIFFERENCE. BE AWARE OF YOUR BODY and ANY CHANGES!!!
Until next time...continue to PRAY, smile and as my pharmacist at Walgreens says..."stay well"
XO-Jamie...fighting CANCER and staying positive
Monday, January 14, 2013
READY, SET, GO...MY GAME PLAN
So as most of you have been anxiously awaiting what my next step of treatment will be...I think you could only imagine how I must have been feeling.
Last night was by far a tough night...I thought a lot about my appointment today with my oncologist and the news that I would be told. To be honest...I was SCARED!!! I know everything truly is in God's hands...but the not knowing is what is frightening.
So we arrived at 3:34 for my 4pm appointment. Before we could turn off of Bell Road I mentioned that I had the feeling that I was turning into the parking lot of school to take an exam. As if my stomach isn't already having issues from my whipple surgery...now what I would be told was driving me crazy.
After waiting and filling out the usual paper work...I was called back into exam room #2 to meet with Dr. Ondreyco. Today I had my Mama (breast cancer survivor), Carol "Mama Chick" (bc survivor,too!-and we both carpooled to radiation for our breast cancer fight)-I knew that the 3 of us all being Dr. O's patients that we are there for support and sometimes hearing the news the oncologist gives isn't always the most pleasant so the more support and shoulders to cry on...the better.
Within a matter of a few minutes in walks Dr. O-shaking her head and still in disbelief that I was there for now another battle with cancer. She wanted to know from the beginning when this started...what I did...where I was...and just couldn't believe it. After I gave her all the pertinent information...it was game time!
She begin to rattle off all the "recommended treatment" info:
Chemotherapy and Radiation
The Chemo is given continuously through a pump with the drug 5FU along with radiation.
The chemo continues 7 days a week.
Possible s/e: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and mouth sores.
Radiation is every day MONDAY-FRIDAY.
This therapy will continue for 6-7 weeks.
Following this additional chemo with the drug Gemzar is given once a week for 2 weeks then 1 week off and then repeated for 4 months.
So what does this mean???
I will get to carry a little pouch around that has "MY" chemo pump that will be connected to my port. After 7 days I will go back into the office to get more meds put into the pump.
Dr. Ondreyco also said...by the way this chemo you will NOT be losing your hair. I know that sounds ridiculous to be stressing about...I was bald once before...but for the sake of my little girls that scared me. So yay for that news :)
Questions she asked...how are you doing after your whipple and who is your GI doctor now?
I replied...I don't have one. YOU have to have a GI doctor...so first thing in the morning I will be calling the GI that diagnosed my cancer from Thunderbird. I have to get my abdominal issues under control before I start treatments. My goal is to get into the GI dr-STAT and get pancreatic enzyme replacements...this will help with my absorption of food=which will make me stronger and able to tolerate the radiation that will be directly aimed on my abdomen.
Questions I asked...What STAGE am I??? The question that EVERYONE has been asking/wondering... I am staged at 2B.
What is the prognosis I asked??? Dr O replied...as far as I am concerned...as soon as you complete your treatments...you will be CURED! This is when I lost it...and she couldn't have had enough tissues in that room. Of course there is always a chance of recurrence...but that is true in all types of cancers.
So what is the game plan???
Tomorrow I will meet with my NEW radiation oncologist who specializes in the radiation aspect of my treatment. Tomorrow I will start on my aloe vera juice and faithfully drink it as I did with my breast cancer (I will blog about this later). I will also call and get GI appointment STAT so I can get my eating/appetite to where it should be. Then if all goes as planned...1-28-2013 will be the start of my attack!
What I need??? PRAYERS still please...we are far from being over with this fight...but your prayers are being heard and I continue to feel the love. When I fought cancer before it was chemo for so many months...then radiation for so many weeks after that. Now that they are combined...I need prayers for strength and determination. Chemo is harsh as we all know this...but radiation really zaps you tired. It has been told to me that one radiation treatment is equal to 8 hours in the hot sun...I will be doing this 5 days/week. I pray that God continues to strengthen me physically, mentally, and emotionally each and everyday as I keep fighting this fight.
Until next time...keep the prayers comin'
XO-JAMIE
Last night was by far a tough night...I thought a lot about my appointment today with my oncologist and the news that I would be told. To be honest...I was SCARED!!! I know everything truly is in God's hands...but the not knowing is what is frightening.
So we arrived at 3:34 for my 4pm appointment. Before we could turn off of Bell Road I mentioned that I had the feeling that I was turning into the parking lot of school to take an exam. As if my stomach isn't already having issues from my whipple surgery...now what I would be told was driving me crazy.
After waiting and filling out the usual paper work...I was called back into exam room #2 to meet with Dr. Ondreyco. Today I had my Mama (breast cancer survivor), Carol "Mama Chick" (bc survivor,too!-and we both carpooled to radiation for our breast cancer fight)-I knew that the 3 of us all being Dr. O's patients that we are there for support and sometimes hearing the news the oncologist gives isn't always the most pleasant so the more support and shoulders to cry on...the better.
Within a matter of a few minutes in walks Dr. O-shaking her head and still in disbelief that I was there for now another battle with cancer. She wanted to know from the beginning when this started...what I did...where I was...and just couldn't believe it. After I gave her all the pertinent information...it was game time!
She begin to rattle off all the "recommended treatment" info:
Chemotherapy and Radiation
The Chemo is given continuously through a pump with the drug 5FU along with radiation.
The chemo continues 7 days a week.
Possible s/e: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and mouth sores.
Radiation is every day MONDAY-FRIDAY.
This therapy will continue for 6-7 weeks.
Following this additional chemo with the drug Gemzar is given once a week for 2 weeks then 1 week off and then repeated for 4 months.
So what does this mean???
I will get to carry a little pouch around that has "MY" chemo pump that will be connected to my port. After 7 days I will go back into the office to get more meds put into the pump.
Dr. Ondreyco also said...by the way this chemo you will NOT be losing your hair. I know that sounds ridiculous to be stressing about...I was bald once before...but for the sake of my little girls that scared me. So yay for that news :)
Questions she asked...how are you doing after your whipple and who is your GI doctor now?
I replied...I don't have one. YOU have to have a GI doctor...so first thing in the morning I will be calling the GI that diagnosed my cancer from Thunderbird. I have to get my abdominal issues under control before I start treatments. My goal is to get into the GI dr-STAT and get pancreatic enzyme replacements...this will help with my absorption of food=which will make me stronger and able to tolerate the radiation that will be directly aimed on my abdomen.
Questions I asked...What STAGE am I??? The question that EVERYONE has been asking/wondering... I am staged at 2B.
What is the prognosis I asked??? Dr O replied...as far as I am concerned...as soon as you complete your treatments...you will be CURED! This is when I lost it...and she couldn't have had enough tissues in that room. Of course there is always a chance of recurrence...but that is true in all types of cancers.
So what is the game plan???
Tomorrow I will meet with my NEW radiation oncologist who specializes in the radiation aspect of my treatment. Tomorrow I will start on my aloe vera juice and faithfully drink it as I did with my breast cancer (I will blog about this later). I will also call and get GI appointment STAT so I can get my eating/appetite to where it should be. Then if all goes as planned...1-28-2013 will be the start of my attack!
What I need??? PRAYERS still please...we are far from being over with this fight...but your prayers are being heard and I continue to feel the love. When I fought cancer before it was chemo for so many months...then radiation for so many weeks after that. Now that they are combined...I need prayers for strength and determination. Chemo is harsh as we all know this...but radiation really zaps you tired. It has been told to me that one radiation treatment is equal to 8 hours in the hot sun...I will be doing this 5 days/week. I pray that God continues to strengthen me physically, mentally, and emotionally each and everyday as I keep fighting this fight.
Until next time...keep the prayers comin'
XO-JAMIE
Monday, January 7, 2013
Where Oh Where?
Where has the time gone since my last post? Well for those of you that have been following on FACEBOOK know...that I was off on a luxurious vacation. I had the opportunity to stay 10 days at an all inclusive hotel-meals/drinks provided, got to stay on the 10th floor of this beautiful resort. Had my own personal care-takers, oh and not to mention the night lights of the city were phenomenal when not under the influence. HA! Who am I joking. 1111 E McDowell was where the vacation took place. The resort aka Good Samaritan Hospital was where I would hang my IV bags each night...met a lot of wonderful medical staff...where I shed a lot of tears...and where I had 45% of my pancreas removed-along with part of my stomach and small intestine-otherwise known as the whipple procedure.
Before I even had "the" surgery I truly wouldn't even dare go on the Internet to research the process or procedure. Instead I would hear other stories of survival and hope and would lean towards that instead of the doom and gloom of what this procedure was all about. I truly had no idea that I would wake up with an NG tube-feeling like a garden hose out of my nose...that having a bowel movement would be like winning the lottery for some...or just how weak I would be and it would take my "cheer-leaders" being there to support me in order for me to get out of bed and do a simple walk around the RN station.
Well I feel I have overcome a lot this past almost 2 weeks. I don't want to go another day without thanking my special friends at GOOD SAM and what they did for me and sharing a little more of my story...
First of all: My Doctors-Dr. Koep: from the first day that I walked into his office...he reminded me of a dear grandpa. A man that truly cared for his patients and knew exactly what he was doing. It was his calm demeanor and his will to help me that I knew I was in good hands.
Then onto Dr. Brink I had always seen his pictures on his sisters page...but never put 2 and 2 together until I was told-Oh-you're going to meet with Dr Koep and Dr Brink. His smile can turn any one's bad day into a good day. I knew Dr.K was the main one in charge come surgery day...but having Dr.Smiley there too-I knew that it couldn't get much better. As they met with me in pre-op it was there that my worries were fading and I soon knew they would be the ones removing this cancer out of my body.
Then onto surgery...I said my good byes to my family and prayed-they turned left to go to surgery waiting...I was wheeled to the right-crying like a woman out of control-my anesthesiologist said, "Oh sweet heart-I've got something for you-here's some Versed"-I can only remember responding with-"Oh Thank you-yes!"...then off to over 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep-surgery time.
I woke up that night in ICU with a sweet RN-wish I could remember her name. All I know is that she said now when the time is right-we will get you up to walk. I asked when is the right time...she said well when you are ready. Well gosh its been 2 hours post-op...lets do this! I remember her getting me up out of bed and all the other RNs literally cheering for me because they couldn't believe I was up. I was quite funny I am told...I kept telling my aunts and mama to tell me story...then would lean over to my mom and say," Hey come here!...You are my ROCK!" I remember my aunts and mama trying to sing to me as they were doing everything I asked them to...they began to sing "We Are Family"...only to be told by my RN that they should stick to their day time roles. But hey at 1:30am anyone sounds good-especially under the influence of great medications from surgery :) I even had my Auntie taking pictures of me. She still thinks I am crazy...but I wanted to document everything about this fight...so she was sitting there with her I-Pad clicking pics of me.
The next morning I woke up to a crazy RN=not going to lie. You just know when they know their skills/have compassion and those that are there just swiping their badges and waiting for next pay day. After she took my central line (out of my neck) without covering it...it was off to the 10th floor...there it was like this special camp spot...where only special VIPs were allowed. Those VIPs were patients that were there for transplants or crazy people like me that had undergone the whipple.
It was on the 10th floor that I would stay the remainder of my time and meet many wonderful RNs.
I had many...but have to give credit where credit is due...
Nikki...looks like Halle Berry-but so much prettier. Her heart was much bigger than her petite stature. She was there for me, encouraged me and took great care of me.
Laurie...she was there for me when I got my pathology report back. Yes the obvious is there but to hear it again...its never easy. She listened as I cried and told my story and then so graciously shared her story with life as well. I am forever grateful that on that day she was assigned as my RN.
Jessica...she took great care of me on my last 2 days there and made me comfortable and gave me great directions and what I would be or could be expecting.
Marvin...oh my! This guy cracks me up just thinking of him. His sweet accent made me smile...but it was his cool hair, his good smelling cologne, or perhaps his bling in his ears that I knew I was in for a great night with a good RN. He got to calling me "JamieJames"...as I responded-yes Marvin Martian. He truly was a great RN even though I still think he is only 14 even though he told me 30.
Last but certainly not least...Nate the great! This guy was beyond any "male" nurse-or murse as they are often called. He was so gentle, and compassionate. He was my RN for a few days and finally on the final day that I knew I would be seeing him...it was like I was telling a family member good-bye. He would come and check on me literally hourly and often would kneel to my level-rub my arm and ask seriously..."Are you ok?" His genuineness will NEVER be forgotten...I can't wait to hear if this Daddy to Denver is going to have another precious little boy or a little princess. His love for life showed through his work and his excitement of getting to paint his future babies room was priceless.
Nurses often go unrecognized and being a block 3 student up until diagnosis day makes me appreciate RNs even more!!!
Of course...I can't forget Mariella...she was the CNA that went over and beyond and even would visit me when she wasn't on my unit. She has a heart of gold.
So with all this being said and all my wonderful medical team that took exceptional care of me...I close with this. A few days back I posted on FB a picture with my "Angel" Kiersten. She was the sweet volunteer that checked me into preop the day of my surgery. She quickly and professionally asked what brought me to the hospital-I replied...Pancreatic Cancer. She paused for a minute and took a breath before she replied-"My Mom was here for her stuff-she had Leukemia"...well not being in the right mood set-I thought oh wow! Not realizing that her Mama was her angel and had been for 3 years already. I sat on my bed and she walked by several times as I would catch her smile and try to have small talk with her. It was then that the charge RN had told Kiersten that I had a support page and a blog. It gave her the opportunity to come talk to me-which I am forever thankful for. Before I was taken to surgery-I already had a new friend on my personal FB page-saw pictures of her beautiful mama and had made plans that one week from my surgery date-on that next Friday that she would be up to visit me. Sure enough-a week later I was graced by Kiersten's presence and her beautiful smile. It was then that she told me...You remind me so much of my Mom. I knew from only meeting this precious girl just one week prior that I now have an "adoptive" older daughter that I can't seriously wait for my girls to meet. She has so much going for her and I know that world better watch out cause this one's got so much to share with others.
So now its back to my HOME...where I don't hear IV alarms, call lights, or RNs telling me its time to give me Lactulose down my feeding tube. I now reflect on what a few weeks can change and I am forever grateful for my "vacation"...I met many people that have affected my life and made such a positive difference. Thank you!!!
Before I even had "the" surgery I truly wouldn't even dare go on the Internet to research the process or procedure. Instead I would hear other stories of survival and hope and would lean towards that instead of the doom and gloom of what this procedure was all about. I truly had no idea that I would wake up with an NG tube-feeling like a garden hose out of my nose...that having a bowel movement would be like winning the lottery for some...or just how weak I would be and it would take my "cheer-leaders" being there to support me in order for me to get out of bed and do a simple walk around the RN station.
Well I feel I have overcome a lot this past almost 2 weeks. I don't want to go another day without thanking my special friends at GOOD SAM and what they did for me and sharing a little more of my story...
First of all: My Doctors-Dr. Koep: from the first day that I walked into his office...he reminded me of a dear grandpa. A man that truly cared for his patients and knew exactly what he was doing. It was his calm demeanor and his will to help me that I knew I was in good hands.
Then onto Dr. Brink I had always seen his pictures on his sisters page...but never put 2 and 2 together until I was told-Oh-you're going to meet with Dr Koep and Dr Brink. His smile can turn any one's bad day into a good day. I knew Dr.K was the main one in charge come surgery day...but having Dr.Smiley there too-I knew that it couldn't get much better. As they met with me in pre-op it was there that my worries were fading and I soon knew they would be the ones removing this cancer out of my body.
Then onto surgery...I said my good byes to my family and prayed-they turned left to go to surgery waiting...I was wheeled to the right-crying like a woman out of control-my anesthesiologist said, "Oh sweet heart-I've got something for you-here's some Versed"-I can only remember responding with-"Oh Thank you-yes!"...then off to over 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep-surgery time.
I woke up that night in ICU with a sweet RN-wish I could remember her name. All I know is that she said now when the time is right-we will get you up to walk. I asked when is the right time...she said well when you are ready. Well gosh its been 2 hours post-op...lets do this! I remember her getting me up out of bed and all the other RNs literally cheering for me because they couldn't believe I was up. I was quite funny I am told...I kept telling my aunts and mama to tell me story...then would lean over to my mom and say," Hey come here!...You are my ROCK!" I remember my aunts and mama trying to sing to me as they were doing everything I asked them to...they began to sing "We Are Family"...only to be told by my RN that they should stick to their day time roles. But hey at 1:30am anyone sounds good-especially under the influence of great medications from surgery :) I even had my Auntie taking pictures of me. She still thinks I am crazy...but I wanted to document everything about this fight...so she was sitting there with her I-Pad clicking pics of me.
The next morning I woke up to a crazy RN=not going to lie. You just know when they know their skills/have compassion and those that are there just swiping their badges and waiting for next pay day. After she took my central line (out of my neck) without covering it...it was off to the 10th floor...there it was like this special camp spot...where only special VIPs were allowed. Those VIPs were patients that were there for transplants or crazy people like me that had undergone the whipple.
It was on the 10th floor that I would stay the remainder of my time and meet many wonderful RNs.
I had many...but have to give credit where credit is due...
Nikki...looks like Halle Berry-but so much prettier. Her heart was much bigger than her petite stature. She was there for me, encouraged me and took great care of me.
Laurie...she was there for me when I got my pathology report back. Yes the obvious is there but to hear it again...its never easy. She listened as I cried and told my story and then so graciously shared her story with life as well. I am forever grateful that on that day she was assigned as my RN.
Jessica...she took great care of me on my last 2 days there and made me comfortable and gave me great directions and what I would be or could be expecting.
Marvin...oh my! This guy cracks me up just thinking of him. His sweet accent made me smile...but it was his cool hair, his good smelling cologne, or perhaps his bling in his ears that I knew I was in for a great night with a good RN. He got to calling me "JamieJames"...as I responded-yes Marvin Martian. He truly was a great RN even though I still think he is only 14 even though he told me 30.
Last but certainly not least...Nate the great! This guy was beyond any "male" nurse-or murse as they are often called. He was so gentle, and compassionate. He was my RN for a few days and finally on the final day that I knew I would be seeing him...it was like I was telling a family member good-bye. He would come and check on me literally hourly and often would kneel to my level-rub my arm and ask seriously..."Are you ok?" His genuineness will NEVER be forgotten...I can't wait to hear if this Daddy to Denver is going to have another precious little boy or a little princess. His love for life showed through his work and his excitement of getting to paint his future babies room was priceless.
Nurses often go unrecognized and being a block 3 student up until diagnosis day makes me appreciate RNs even more!!!
Of course...I can't forget Mariella...she was the CNA that went over and beyond and even would visit me when she wasn't on my unit. She has a heart of gold.
So with all this being said and all my wonderful medical team that took exceptional care of me...I close with this. A few days back I posted on FB a picture with my "Angel" Kiersten. She was the sweet volunteer that checked me into preop the day of my surgery. She quickly and professionally asked what brought me to the hospital-I replied...Pancreatic Cancer. She paused for a minute and took a breath before she replied-"My Mom was here for her stuff-she had Leukemia"...well not being in the right mood set-I thought oh wow! Not realizing that her Mama was her angel and had been for 3 years already. I sat on my bed and she walked by several times as I would catch her smile and try to have small talk with her. It was then that the charge RN had told Kiersten that I had a support page and a blog. It gave her the opportunity to come talk to me-which I am forever thankful for. Before I was taken to surgery-I already had a new friend on my personal FB page-saw pictures of her beautiful mama and had made plans that one week from my surgery date-on that next Friday that she would be up to visit me. Sure enough-a week later I was graced by Kiersten's presence and her beautiful smile. It was then that she told me...You remind me so much of my Mom. I knew from only meeting this precious girl just one week prior that I now have an "adoptive" older daughter that I can't seriously wait for my girls to meet. She has so much going for her and I know that world better watch out cause this one's got so much to share with others.
So now its back to my HOME...where I don't hear IV alarms, call lights, or RNs telling me its time to give me Lactulose down my feeding tube. I now reflect on what a few weeks can change and I am forever grateful for my "vacation"...I met many people that have affected my life and made such a positive difference. Thank you!!!
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Faith, Family, & Friends
What does Faith, Family, and Friends mean to YOU?
I have often wondered what it would be like to not have any of the 3.
I know how alone I would feel and not be able to endure what I have gone
through in life and how miserable life would be.
I have gone through a lot...more than most people would ever imagine.
Just to name some of my most significant events...
1. 3rd week into college got the news that my Mama had breast cancer
2. On 2-5-2003 losing my Dad in a motorcycle accident
3. Being diagnosed with stage III breast cancer on 5-31-2005
4. Huge heartbreaks...
5. Diagnosed at the age of 34 with Pancreatic cancer.
All of the above are pretty serious issues...and some wouldn't know how to cope. Some might turn to a "bottle" to cope with the pain, hurt themselves, or be destructive in some way. I on the other hand lean on the 3 "Fs" as I like to call them.
FAITH
I have been asked this..."Don't you blame God?"...NO!I do not. I believe HE only gives us what we can handle. Yes I am not going to sit here and lie about everything and say its all been a picture perfect life. But I promise you this...God hasn't left my side...in fact he's been there with me through everything. As Mia K. sang at my benefit concert the other night..."God is Good...yes, God is Faithful" I am not by any means sitting here "thumping" my Bible-instead I have a relationship with God and know that he is my ultimate healer...my redeemer...and I trust in him. I know that in this journey-we must live each day to the fullest and we are given each day because God has created this beautiful thing we call LIFE.
FAMILY
What would I do with out my people? As I have said it before...I am who I am because of them! For those of you that know me...know just how important my family is to me. I could be the richest person on earth and have the best of the best of everything...but if I did not have my family-I would have nothing! My family has been with me and through so much together. I believe that because of our trials and tribulations-we are stronger than most.
FRIENDS
When we are young children we think little Johnny or little Mary will be our best friend forever. It isn't until we are older and realize who are "TRUE" friends are...the ones that laugh with us, cry with us, do crazy things together-but most of all love us for who we are. It wasn't until I graduated from high school that I learned who my "friends" were. Even as I became an adult I still was learning who I could trust...who was "real" and who just put on a front. I appreciate all my friends who have been with me through it all and love me for ME!
So now that I have shared about my 3-Fs...I hope that you have at least one of the 3-no one should be "alone" going through life. To have all 3 is something that I can say that I am truly Blessed. I know that with all 3 of the Fs-I can beat this battle...and victory will be won!
I thank God for giving me another day...my Family for being mine...and my friends for loving me.
Until next time...continue to pray!
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Where it all began...
For those that don't "personally" know me...let me introduce myself.
I am JAMIE. An Arizona native. A 34 year old. Mama to 2 beautiful girls. Daughter, sister, aunt, granddaughter, niece, cousin and friend to many. I was in block 3 of RN school-had one more to go. Dealing with life-the best that I could...and trusting in God that he would get me through the hurdles in life that I had to overcome. Never in a million years did I imagine what would happen next...
You see it was just 5-31-2005,at the age of 27... that I was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. I had to undergo chemo and radiation-not to mention the surgeries...In 2010 I was considered cancer free. I had fought that fight...and kept looking forward knowing that cancer always was in the back of my mind with the "what ifs"...but I couldn't dwell on that. Instead I lived life to the fullest (or so I thought)...I have my yearly oncologist appointments where they check my blood and do an overall check up on me. I had just seen my onco dr a few months ago...and everything seemed to check out just fine.
So fast forward to August 30,2012...I had been dealing with a LOT of abdominal pains/discomfort but associated it to the stresses of nursing school. The pain was so intense that I decided I would drive myself to the ER. Well that didn't work out as planned-my Mom dropped me off and my cousin and his girlfriend came to my rescue and spent 5+hours with me in "my" room. The doctor scolded me, "Well little Miss Nursing student...you've got yourself a few days stay inpatient". My pancreas was enlarged-and they associated everything to acute pancreatitis...even after ct scans, mri and an ultrasound. After 6 days and my "lipase" levels still elevated the GI doctor decided to discharge me that they weren't doing anything that I couldn't do at home. Thank you-cause I was starting to dislike the 3rd floor-room 16.
Post-hospital check up with GI-still having pains...decides its my gallbladder after having a HIDA scan...so off to the operating room for Halloween. A few hours later I was good to go with 4 very small scars to explain my "big" surgery. Doctor's orders: Rest for 5-7 days...ha! Who were they kidding I was in clinicals for RN school-so it was 3 days down and on the 4th day-11.5 hour clinical for me. No pain...no gain!
Everything seemed to be going as planned...until the day before Thanksgiving. Out of no where I started having abdominal pain that felt as if a horse had kicked me. I dealt with it and associated it to my recent lap. cholecystectomy=removal of gallbladder. But the pain wasn't subsiding, in fact it was getting worse. It was Saturday night of Thanksgiving weekend that I noticed now my eyes were YELLOW-yep jaundice is never a good thing.
What do I do now...my girls were sleeping...I was a little freaked out...and thought oh I could just call the doctor the following morning. NOPE! Wasn't going to happen...I called my nursing school class mate/earthly angel A.K.A.-Allison...and her response: "Call you Mom-she can come stay with your girls and I am on my way-you ARE going to the ER."
Off to the ER we went...arrived at 12:01am on November 25. Boy was that a great people watching experience...as RN students we tried laughing with each other as most of the people in the waiting area probably had no business being there. It made the time go by faster...
Jamie?! "Yes, that is me!" I was triaged and asked what brought me there? "Well Gallbladder out 3 weeks prior...now having severe pain...a LOT of itching...oh and yes my eyes are jaundice"...the arrogant medic in the ER-looked at me like RIGHT!-I spread my eye lids open..."OH YES-they are jaundice" Grrrr note to yourself-don't even underestimate someone when they say something is "abnormal" with their body.
So off to the hall in the exam area-yes that's how crazy the ER was...so Allison by that time had been up 26 hours and exhausted-so why not...she curled up in my bed with me. Not to get too comfortable before the ER doctor explained she wanted to get a CT scan right away on me. I returned back into the hall...and next thing I know I hear the doctor "quietly" talking to another doctor "Yes she's 34 with a history of breast cancer...yes and the mass..." What?! This must be all a mistake. I told Allison, "She's talking about me!" -She reassured me that I should not assume the worst until they come talk to me. Well the RN that was taking good care of me-now no longer giving me eye contact...nor was the doctor coming and talking to me. Well what seemed like eternity...the sweet doctor came over with watery-eyes..."May I sit down in this chair she asked?"...She began to explain they had found a MASS on my pancreas. I could either stay at that hospital or be transferred to the hospital that seemed like my home 7 years prior with all my breast cancer stuff. Off to Thunderbird I went...
It was room LLA-room 1 that became my home for the next 6 days. SEVERAL tests-scans and lab work that went on day after day after day. The only thing that kept me sane was ALL my visitors that would come and see me. I pretty much had a party EVERY night in my room-I didn't want down time to think of the what could possibly be. My family and dear friends kept me company...brought me flowers, well-wishes, rubbed my back and prayed with me. 5out of the 6 days I was under some type of anesthesia for all the procedures I had to go through...it seemed like a really bad dream...but on the 6th day it was confirmed...now at the age of 34 I was up again for another round.
YES...I was diagnosed this time with PANCREATIC CANCER...this seemed to be a total mistake but nope-it was not. This new diagnosis explained all the pain and discomfort I had been experiencing. What would I do next...FIGHT!!!
I have always counted on my FAITH-FAMILY-and FRIENDS to be there for me...and never stray away from me. I know that the 3 "Fs" will be there for me again through this fight. I know that this battle is a lot to overcome...but I am not, nor will I give up. Prayer is powerful...attitude is everything...and I still have a life to live!
So I've got my gloves on and I thank you for standing in my corner with me...WE have a fight to win!!!
I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me! -Phil. 4:13
I am JAMIE. An Arizona native. A 34 year old. Mama to 2 beautiful girls. Daughter, sister, aunt, granddaughter, niece, cousin and friend to many. I was in block 3 of RN school-had one more to go. Dealing with life-the best that I could...and trusting in God that he would get me through the hurdles in life that I had to overcome. Never in a million years did I imagine what would happen next...
You see it was just 5-31-2005,at the age of 27... that I was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. I had to undergo chemo and radiation-not to mention the surgeries...In 2010 I was considered cancer free. I had fought that fight...and kept looking forward knowing that cancer always was in the back of my mind with the "what ifs"...but I couldn't dwell on that. Instead I lived life to the fullest (or so I thought)...I have my yearly oncologist appointments where they check my blood and do an overall check up on me. I had just seen my onco dr a few months ago...and everything seemed to check out just fine.
So fast forward to August 30,2012...I had been dealing with a LOT of abdominal pains/discomfort but associated it to the stresses of nursing school. The pain was so intense that I decided I would drive myself to the ER. Well that didn't work out as planned-my Mom dropped me off and my cousin and his girlfriend came to my rescue and spent 5+hours with me in "my" room. The doctor scolded me, "Well little Miss Nursing student...you've got yourself a few days stay inpatient". My pancreas was enlarged-and they associated everything to acute pancreatitis...even after ct scans, mri and an ultrasound. After 6 days and my "lipase" levels still elevated the GI doctor decided to discharge me that they weren't doing anything that I couldn't do at home. Thank you-cause I was starting to dislike the 3rd floor-room 16.
Post-hospital check up with GI-still having pains...decides its my gallbladder after having a HIDA scan...so off to the operating room for Halloween. A few hours later I was good to go with 4 very small scars to explain my "big" surgery. Doctor's orders: Rest for 5-7 days...ha! Who were they kidding I was in clinicals for RN school-so it was 3 days down and on the 4th day-11.5 hour clinical for me. No pain...no gain!
Everything seemed to be going as planned...until the day before Thanksgiving. Out of no where I started having abdominal pain that felt as if a horse had kicked me. I dealt with it and associated it to my recent lap. cholecystectomy=removal of gallbladder. But the pain wasn't subsiding, in fact it was getting worse. It was Saturday night of Thanksgiving weekend that I noticed now my eyes were YELLOW-yep jaundice is never a good thing.
What do I do now...my girls were sleeping...I was a little freaked out...and thought oh I could just call the doctor the following morning. NOPE! Wasn't going to happen...I called my nursing school class mate/earthly angel A.K.A.-Allison...and her response: "Call you Mom-she can come stay with your girls and I am on my way-you ARE going to the ER."
Off to the ER we went...arrived at 12:01am on November 25. Boy was that a great people watching experience...as RN students we tried laughing with each other as most of the people in the waiting area probably had no business being there. It made the time go by faster...
Jamie?! "Yes, that is me!" I was triaged and asked what brought me there? "Well Gallbladder out 3 weeks prior...now having severe pain...a LOT of itching...oh and yes my eyes are jaundice"...the arrogant medic in the ER-looked at me like RIGHT!-I spread my eye lids open..."OH YES-they are jaundice" Grrrr note to yourself-don't even underestimate someone when they say something is "abnormal" with their body.
So off to the hall in the exam area-yes that's how crazy the ER was...so Allison by that time had been up 26 hours and exhausted-so why not...she curled up in my bed with me. Not to get too comfortable before the ER doctor explained she wanted to get a CT scan right away on me. I returned back into the hall...and next thing I know I hear the doctor "quietly" talking to another doctor "Yes she's 34 with a history of breast cancer...yes and the mass..." What?! This must be all a mistake. I told Allison, "She's talking about me!" -She reassured me that I should not assume the worst until they come talk to me. Well the RN that was taking good care of me-now no longer giving me eye contact...nor was the doctor coming and talking to me. Well what seemed like eternity...the sweet doctor came over with watery-eyes..."May I sit down in this chair she asked?"...She began to explain they had found a MASS on my pancreas. I could either stay at that hospital or be transferred to the hospital that seemed like my home 7 years prior with all my breast cancer stuff. Off to Thunderbird I went...
It was room LLA-room 1 that became my home for the next 6 days. SEVERAL tests-scans and lab work that went on day after day after day. The only thing that kept me sane was ALL my visitors that would come and see me. I pretty much had a party EVERY night in my room-I didn't want down time to think of the what could possibly be. My family and dear friends kept me company...brought me flowers, well-wishes, rubbed my back and prayed with me. 5out of the 6 days I was under some type of anesthesia for all the procedures I had to go through...it seemed like a really bad dream...but on the 6th day it was confirmed...now at the age of 34 I was up again for another round.
YES...I was diagnosed this time with PANCREATIC CANCER...this seemed to be a total mistake but nope-it was not. This new diagnosis explained all the pain and discomfort I had been experiencing. What would I do next...FIGHT!!!
I have always counted on my FAITH-FAMILY-and FRIENDS to be there for me...and never stray away from me. I know that the 3 "Fs" will be there for me again through this fight. I know that this battle is a lot to overcome...but I am not, nor will I give up. Prayer is powerful...attitude is everything...and I still have a life to live!
So I've got my gloves on and I thank you for standing in my corner with me...WE have a fight to win!!!
I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me! -Phil. 4:13
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