What we want- For Christmas...

While many of you are busy Christmas shopping and checking off the lists of what everyone wants or thinks that they need...I can't sit here but to think of this..

All I want for Christmas is a CURE...a CURE so that no one else would have to go through the "C" diagnosis, the not-knowing stage, the waiting for scans & lab work, the treatments and all the side effects that go along with the treatments, watching our loved-ones ache as their hearts break as we have to go through all that we have to endure.

Tonight is a MUCH better night than last night...this chemo is pretty harsh...but I know it is doing its job.  I only wish the nausea (and vomiting-yesterday) would disappear.  I am able for the most part to tolerate everything...but yesterday afternoon was another story. After some bags of fluid, and anti-nausea meds directly put into my port...I was feeling much better.  Fingers crossed that I won't feel like that anytime soon.

I have been doing ok...but tonight was a reminder as I tucked T into bed...she looked up and said, "Mama you have to go through 2014 with your treatments, huh?!" My heart broke as I simply answered..."Yes, baby...and we are going to get through this!"   If only I could twitch my nose and have round #12 over and done with. 

I keep holding onto that HOPE...that I know I can and I will get through this battle.  But until I see the light at the end of this tunnel...I am allowed to shed a few tears...tonight a few more...as I checked on both my babies as they lay peacefully asleep.  I thank God that he granted me another day to be their Mama and I look forward to the days that I will feel amazing...and that we can close this chapter of our life story and onto the next chapter with many more happy moments. 

Keep the positive thoughts, love, and prayers headed our way.  We appreciate them all!!!

Until then...we will cherish all that we have...which more importantly is each other! All we really want for Christmas is...a CURE!