Its been a little while since my last post. I had #6 of Gemzar (Chemo) on Monday and Neulasta injection yesterday. So far so good minus the bone pain from neulasta and the nausea...but I am alive...so I can't complain :) God is good! He has given me the strength and determination to fight this battle. I plan on blogging more after next week when I meet with Dr. O to see if I will have 8 treatments of 12...really hope its only 8...but we will see.
For those of you that are new to my blog-Hello! Don't forget if you are on facebook...like my prayer page @ : lifting Jamie in prayer
Thank you for you continued PRAYERS, LOVE and SUPPORT!
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Is this a sign...or is "Jesus Calling" ???
Well I have wanted to blog about this letter we had received months ago and it seems as though I have had many other "circumstances" that it comes right back to this little book...that was mentioned in "the" letter.
As most of you are aware...I lost my "Daddy" (yes forever a Daddy's girl) 10 years ago. Feb.5th, 2003 to be exact. He was the Chief of the Buckeye Valley Fire District at the time of his passing. He was headed to home meet up with us for dinner...while riding his bright-red fire engine red "FF edition" Harley. I don't think I have ever accepted the fact that he has gone...but then there are days that I remember he is ALWAYS with me. HE saved my life!!! (his white t-shirt...blood stain...=I find out I had breast cancer-remember that post?)
Well one year to the day of his passing...many members from his department drove up Vulture Mine Rd just south of Wickenburg, AZ to put up a tribute for ALL to see. Mind you...for those of you that have not seen this road-side memorial...it is like NO other. It is HUGE about 6 feet tall give or take Maltese-cross with a simple cross in the middle of it. It is red...it is beautiful and people from around the USA have either blogged about it...mentioned it to family members or have written us letters...
So here is where "the letter" comes into this blog...
For those of you that know about The Meadows in Wickenburg...it is a rehabilitation facility where many people have come for help. Many ordinary individuals to super-stars trying to get clean and off their addictions.
So months ago...we were called to the fire station to pick up a letter that this gentleman tracked down the fire department address from my Dad's cross and wanted to share some touching information with us.
We will call him Fred...He had been a patient at the Meadows...and had gone back to visit with old acquaintances that wanted to reunite and look at the progression they had made. Fred had decided that he was going to go for a run or hike...didn't know exactly where...but knew he was going to accomplish that.
So Fred set out and drove down Vulture Mine Rd...he had told his friends that he was going to run/hike I believe it was 6 miles. As he got a few miles into it...something came over him and he turned into the opposite direction and started hiking up a hill...something kept pushing him...and he kept trekking on harder. He then came to this beautiful "RED" cross. He read my Daddy's name...and it was there that he prayed.
Fred continued on to say that he hadn't been leading the best life...his wife and him weren't on the exact page...and it was there at "the" cross that he said his FIRST prayer ever! He knew from that day forward that he had to change...turn his life around and do good. He began to share God's word. He then mentioned how he has passed out the devotional book "Jesus Calling" to lots of people. He has a twitter account were he has shared his story/God's word with thousands.
Now to some of you this may not seem like a BIG deal...to my family...it was just another reassurance that God is in control. My Daddy was a man of God...who touched so many peoples lives...he believed in making a difference and trusting in God...with his FAVORITE Bible verse being "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." So although he left 10 years ago...he is still making a BIG difference in complete random strangers lives...
So as my Mama read me this letter...we cried and we almost couldn't speak...for it was days earlier that I was dealing with some issues in life that she had gotten the girls each copies of "Jesus Calling" and a sweet-dear neighbor had dropped a copy off for me at my Mama's house.
Since that time...I have had SEVERAL others mention "Jesus Calling"...and most recently I just received a word of encouragement from another fellow Pan-Can fighter...she closed the letter by encouraging me to read "Jesus Calling"...
Is this all a sign...maybe?! But I do believe Jesus is Calling me to not give-up...to remember who is in control. "He" is only going to give me what I can handle...I've come this far and I look forward to see what "He" has in store for my future.
Until next time...here's to more days with trusting in HIM!
If you are wanting to know more info:
http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Calling-Enjoying-Peace-Presence/dp/1591451884#_
My Daddy:
http://www.azleg.state.az.us/legtext/46leg/1r/bills/hcr2035p.htm
http://www.local4371.org/Tribute.html
As most of you are aware...I lost my "Daddy" (yes forever a Daddy's girl) 10 years ago. Feb.5th, 2003 to be exact. He was the Chief of the Buckeye Valley Fire District at the time of his passing. He was headed to home meet up with us for dinner...while riding his bright-red fire engine red "FF edition" Harley. I don't think I have ever accepted the fact that he has gone...but then there are days that I remember he is ALWAYS with me. HE saved my life!!! (his white t-shirt...blood stain...=I find out I had breast cancer-remember that post?)
Well one year to the day of his passing...many members from his department drove up Vulture Mine Rd just south of Wickenburg, AZ to put up a tribute for ALL to see. Mind you...for those of you that have not seen this road-side memorial...it is like NO other. It is HUGE about 6 feet tall give or take Maltese-cross with a simple cross in the middle of it. It is red...it is beautiful and people from around the USA have either blogged about it...mentioned it to family members or have written us letters...
So here is where "the letter" comes into this blog...
For those of you that know about The Meadows in Wickenburg...it is a rehabilitation facility where many people have come for help. Many ordinary individuals to super-stars trying to get clean and off their addictions.
So months ago...we were called to the fire station to pick up a letter that this gentleman tracked down the fire department address from my Dad's cross and wanted to share some touching information with us.
We will call him Fred...He had been a patient at the Meadows...and had gone back to visit with old acquaintances that wanted to reunite and look at the progression they had made. Fred had decided that he was going to go for a run or hike...didn't know exactly where...but knew he was going to accomplish that.
So Fred set out and drove down Vulture Mine Rd...he had told his friends that he was going to run/hike I believe it was 6 miles. As he got a few miles into it...something came over him and he turned into the opposite direction and started hiking up a hill...something kept pushing him...and he kept trekking on harder. He then came to this beautiful "RED" cross. He read my Daddy's name...and it was there that he prayed.
Fred continued on to say that he hadn't been leading the best life...his wife and him weren't on the exact page...and it was there at "the" cross that he said his FIRST prayer ever! He knew from that day forward that he had to change...turn his life around and do good. He began to share God's word. He then mentioned how he has passed out the devotional book "Jesus Calling" to lots of people. He has a twitter account were he has shared his story/God's word with thousands.
Now to some of you this may not seem like a BIG deal...to my family...it was just another reassurance that God is in control. My Daddy was a man of God...who touched so many peoples lives...he believed in making a difference and trusting in God...with his FAVORITE Bible verse being "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." So although he left 10 years ago...he is still making a BIG difference in complete random strangers lives...
So as my Mama read me this letter...we cried and we almost couldn't speak...for it was days earlier that I was dealing with some issues in life that she had gotten the girls each copies of "Jesus Calling" and a sweet-dear neighbor had dropped a copy off for me at my Mama's house.
Since that time...I have had SEVERAL others mention "Jesus Calling"...and most recently I just received a word of encouragement from another fellow Pan-Can fighter...she closed the letter by encouraging me to read "Jesus Calling"...
Is this all a sign...maybe?! But I do believe Jesus is Calling me to not give-up...to remember who is in control. "He" is only going to give me what I can handle...I've come this far and I look forward to see what "He" has in store for my future.
Until next time...here's to more days with trusting in HIM!
If you are wanting to know more info:
http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Calling-Enjoying-Peace-Presence/dp/1591451884#_
My Daddy:
http://www.azleg.state.az.us/legtext/46leg/1r/bills/hcr2035p.htm
http://www.local4371.org/Tribute.html
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Today...We WILL fight
Today was like any ordinary day that I have had lately...take my girls to school...deal with a bit of nausea and the bone pain from Neulasta. But as like most days I am able to for the most part...ignore the minor glitches and look for the positives in my day. So onto today...I must back up to yesterday.
After I received my Neulasta injection...I headed to Sprouts to get some veggies, and such. As I thought about leaving out of the "left" exit (which I was parked closet to)...I chose to walk out of the "right" exit. Something caught my eye...a FREE magazine for all to read that had Jessica Alba on the cover. It wasn't just the fact that I enjoyed reading her story about "clean" eating...more so the article in there about a cancer SURVIVOR. He also blogs :) I couldn't get enough of reading it...instead of napping before I got the girls...I jumped up and started juicing like a crazy girl. I have been juicing as I have mentioned before...but WOW! I was on a roll. I usually just juice enough for that particular moment...instead I juiced enough for a few days.
Long story short...he had stage 3 colon cancer...was told he had to do chemo-he said NO!!! And instead changed his lifestyle and went to juicing and eating healthy. That was 10 years ago...he is now healthy and happy-married with 2 kiddos. What an inspiration! Check out his blog if you so wish to @: www.chrisbeatcancer.com I hope that I inspire people...like he has me!
So onto TODAY- I passed on the info I read to not one...but 2 who have been recently diagnosed and are in a fight for their life. One I got the opportunity to chat with via Face book...the other one is a VERY dear friend's cousin...hope I didn't talk your ear off M.
I don't claim to be a preacher, doctor, or expert...just a girl who has beat cancer once...and is beating it AGAIN!
My little tidbit...ATTITUDE...you MUST remain POSITIVE. If there is negativity...get rid of it! Your own mind has a LOT to do with your overall well being.
FAITH...whether you believe in GOD or not...that is between you and yours...but have FAITH in YOURSELF too!!!
Keep FIGHTING...Don't give up...Don't think about tomorrow...live for TODAY! Yes...be "organized"(if you want to be proactive and your own advocate)...but don't worry about the little things...JUICE...LOVE...LAUGH...and remember what is IMPORTANT!
So here's wishing M and C the strength to FIGHT ON...YOU can and YOU will do this! Attitude is EVERYTHING! (or at least a BIG part of fighting the fight)
I'm seriously thinking about riding my bike up to the top of the "hill" here and shouting-
Here's to LOTS more juicing...and LESS "C"
After I received my Neulasta injection...I headed to Sprouts to get some veggies, and such. As I thought about leaving out of the "left" exit (which I was parked closet to)...I chose to walk out of the "right" exit. Something caught my eye...a FREE magazine for all to read that had Jessica Alba on the cover. It wasn't just the fact that I enjoyed reading her story about "clean" eating...more so the article in there about a cancer SURVIVOR. He also blogs :) I couldn't get enough of reading it...instead of napping before I got the girls...I jumped up and started juicing like a crazy girl. I have been juicing as I have mentioned before...but WOW! I was on a roll. I usually just juice enough for that particular moment...instead I juiced enough for a few days.
Long story short...he had stage 3 colon cancer...was told he had to do chemo-he said NO!!! And instead changed his lifestyle and went to juicing and eating healthy. That was 10 years ago...he is now healthy and happy-married with 2 kiddos. What an inspiration! Check out his blog if you so wish to @: www.chrisbeatcancer.com I hope that I inspire people...like he has me!
So onto TODAY- I passed on the info I read to not one...but 2 who have been recently diagnosed and are in a fight for their life. One I got the opportunity to chat with via Face book...the other one is a VERY dear friend's cousin...hope I didn't talk your ear off M.
I don't claim to be a preacher, doctor, or expert...just a girl who has beat cancer once...and is beating it AGAIN!
My little tidbit...ATTITUDE...you MUST remain POSITIVE. If there is negativity...get rid of it! Your own mind has a LOT to do with your overall well being.
FAITH...whether you believe in GOD or not...that is between you and yours...but have FAITH in YOURSELF too!!!
Keep FIGHTING...Don't give up...Don't think about tomorrow...live for TODAY! Yes...be "organized"(if you want to be proactive and your own advocate)...but don't worry about the little things...JUICE...LOVE...LAUGH...and remember what is IMPORTANT!
So here's wishing M and C the strength to FIGHT ON...YOU can and YOU will do this! Attitude is EVERYTHING! (or at least a BIG part of fighting the fight)
I'm seriously thinking about riding my bike up to the top of the "hill" here and shouting-
Here's to LOTS more juicing...and LESS "C"
Monday, May 13, 2013
Gemzar Number 4
Hello! Just woke up from about a 3 hour nap...ugh chemo!
Just wanted to say I HEART my week off of NO chemo...then days like today come around and I've got to remember I am FIGHTING...and beating this...one day at a time. Trying to keep my eye on the prize of being done with chemo and trying to live the "normal" life. September will not get here fast enough...but that doesn't matter...we are enjoying every day to the fullest.
Last week was a busy week for the girls and I...besides the normal school routine, and trying to practice lines for a play for Taryn's class and working on Greek/Roman art for Maesyn's class...we had a day of "fittings" for a fashion show...a night of dress rehearsal...and then Saturday mid morning they had the honor of walking down the "runway" for the PANDA (excellent organization) Fashion Show Luncheon. The money raised goes to research to treat childhood diseases and such. I was such a proud Mama to be able to watch my girls as they were the very 1st ones out of 64 models to come out and show the gigantic ballroom filled with people their outfits. Thank you to some VERY special people for making that day happen for not only my girls...but me too! They will NEVER forget that day or the experience that they had. Thank you PANDA for doing what you have done for I believe the last 14 years...
Then moving onto Saturday night...the girls along with cousins and friends took part in the 2nd Annual Neon Splash Dash. Thank you K for making that a reality also for my girls. They were some of the cutest dressed little girls there that ran their little hearts out with all that they had. The best/most special part of the whole "Dash" event...money raised goes to Camp Kesem. What is a this camp you may ask? Well it is a special camp for kids that have parent(s) going through or have gone through cancer. It doesn't "dwell" on cancer...instead gives kids the opportunity to meet others and have a week long escape away from the reality of what they are going through or have been through. I am still debating on sending the girls this year...they are wanting to...but scared of not being with me for a whole week. We shall see...but I do know other kids in their coping class who are going...so I am grateful for those that participated in the race to give these kids this opportunity.
Then yesterday was mother's day...no gifts, or fancy cards...just spent time with my girls. That is all that I need!!! I am here to celebrate another "holiday" with them and that is all that matters. I love these 2 with all that I have and they are what keep me going.
I was trying to add pictures to this post...but no luck right now...next time! :)
Until next time...I am fightin' on! Keep the prayers coming!!!
For those of you that are wondering about my Mama...we are just waiting on scans/results still...until we know what the game plan will be. For those of you that have been through a "battle" know its the hurry up and wait game a lot of times...we have to remain patient as patients and know that God is in control!
Just wanted to say I HEART my week off of NO chemo...then days like today come around and I've got to remember I am FIGHTING...and beating this...one day at a time. Trying to keep my eye on the prize of being done with chemo and trying to live the "normal" life. September will not get here fast enough...but that doesn't matter...we are enjoying every day to the fullest.
Last week was a busy week for the girls and I...besides the normal school routine, and trying to practice lines for a play for Taryn's class and working on Greek/Roman art for Maesyn's class...we had a day of "fittings" for a fashion show...a night of dress rehearsal...and then Saturday mid morning they had the honor of walking down the "runway" for the PANDA (excellent organization) Fashion Show Luncheon. The money raised goes to research to treat childhood diseases and such. I was such a proud Mama to be able to watch my girls as they were the very 1st ones out of 64 models to come out and show the gigantic ballroom filled with people their outfits. Thank you to some VERY special people for making that day happen for not only my girls...but me too! They will NEVER forget that day or the experience that they had. Thank you PANDA for doing what you have done for I believe the last 14 years...
Then moving onto Saturday night...the girls along with cousins and friends took part in the 2nd Annual Neon Splash Dash. Thank you K for making that a reality also for my girls. They were some of the cutest dressed little girls there that ran their little hearts out with all that they had. The best/most special part of the whole "Dash" event...money raised goes to Camp Kesem. What is a this camp you may ask? Well it is a special camp for kids that have parent(s) going through or have gone through cancer. It doesn't "dwell" on cancer...instead gives kids the opportunity to meet others and have a week long escape away from the reality of what they are going through or have been through. I am still debating on sending the girls this year...they are wanting to...but scared of not being with me for a whole week. We shall see...but I do know other kids in their coping class who are going...so I am grateful for those that participated in the race to give these kids this opportunity.
Then yesterday was mother's day...no gifts, or fancy cards...just spent time with my girls. That is all that I need!!! I am here to celebrate another "holiday" with them and that is all that matters. I love these 2 with all that I have and they are what keep me going.
I was trying to add pictures to this post...but no luck right now...next time! :)
Until next time...I am fightin' on! Keep the prayers coming!!!
For those of you that are wondering about my Mama...we are just waiting on scans/results still...until we know what the game plan will be. For those of you that have been through a "battle" know its the hurry up and wait game a lot of times...we have to remain patient as patients and know that God is in control!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Drum Roll Please...
So as you know yesterday I got my 3rd dose of Gemzar and my Neulasta injection today. For those that know...before every chemo I have to get my blood drawn to make sure my counts are "good"...so my white counts were great...4.5 up from 2.1. Which I believe the previous neulasta has a lot to do with it...I also believe that what I've been doing a lot of lately is HELPING...JUICING!!! Yep LOTS of veggies and lots of oranges. I have read that there isn't too much you can do for your white cells to increase other than staying away from sick people...but that vitamin C and B12 helps. So that's what I have been doing.
Insert Drum Roll Here...........
So I'm on my way home from getting Neulasta and Dr. Ondreyco's # pops up on my phone. Anytime I see this number I know I've got to answer it...
Lisa is a chemo RN and Tim is Dr.O's back office MA...here's how the convo goes
Lisa: Hey Jamie it's Lisa from Dr.O's and I am here with Tim.
Me: hello!
Lisa: Well we wanted to call and give you some good news
Me: (I was thinking huh??? I just got chemo yesterday and I really don't know what this could be about)-ummm ok!
Lisa: Well we want to give you your tumor marker #
Me: What?! I haven't got it drawn again
Lisa: Oh yes! We drew it yesterday...you just didn't know it
Me:OK! (still scared!)
Lisa: Jamie!!! It has gone down to 121...and I wanted to be the one to tell you this news
Me: Lisa are you sure you have the right patient (Tim laughing in the background)
Lisa: Yes-Jamie Daniels-March 10th 1978...drawn on yesterday's date 4/29/2013
Me: Are you sure you're not trying to do a April Fools prank since its the last day of April...wait! Can you tell me that number again?! It's 129???
Lisa: (now chuckling too) No! It's 121... I can email you a copy of this report
Me: I believe you!!!
Lisa: Now you get on your blog and your prayer page and you tell them ALL that their prayers are working...and they need to keep up what ever they have been doing for you. You deserve this good news and I am so happy for you.
Me: Oh Lisa! Thank you guys so much for this call!!!
Once I hung up reality hit me!!! Last week when I met with Dr. O she mentioned that I would be getting my tumor markers drawn in a few weeks...and although trying to remain optimistic...reality was that she was quite concerned too and that if my #s were not down...I would be adding yet another chemo to my regimen that I am already on.
Yes I am now starting to feel the pain and side effects from this neulasta...but I feel like shouting at the loudest that I possibly can...GOD IS SO GOOD...I CAN...AND I WILL BEAT THIS!!!
Thank you for your prayers, positive thoughts, and support...I am beyond happy right now!!!
So here's to more positive attitudes, TONS of praying, and Lots of juicing! :)
Insert Drum Roll Here...........
So I'm on my way home from getting Neulasta and Dr. Ondreyco's # pops up on my phone. Anytime I see this number I know I've got to answer it...
Lisa is a chemo RN and Tim is Dr.O's back office MA...here's how the convo goes
Lisa: Hey Jamie it's Lisa from Dr.O's and I am here with Tim.
Me: hello!
Lisa: Well we wanted to call and give you some good news
Me: (I was thinking huh??? I just got chemo yesterday and I really don't know what this could be about)-ummm ok!
Lisa: Well we want to give you your tumor marker #
Me: What?! I haven't got it drawn again
Lisa: Oh yes! We drew it yesterday...you just didn't know it
Me:OK! (still scared!)
Lisa: Jamie!!! It has gone down to 121...and I wanted to be the one to tell you this news
Me: Lisa are you sure you have the right patient (Tim laughing in the background)
Lisa: Yes-Jamie Daniels-March 10th 1978...drawn on yesterday's date 4/29/2013
Me: Are you sure you're not trying to do a April Fools prank since its the last day of April...wait! Can you tell me that number again?! It's 129???
Lisa: (now chuckling too) No! It's 121... I can email you a copy of this report
Me: I believe you!!!
Lisa: Now you get on your blog and your prayer page and you tell them ALL that their prayers are working...and they need to keep up what ever they have been doing for you. You deserve this good news and I am so happy for you.
Me: Oh Lisa! Thank you guys so much for this call!!!
Once I hung up reality hit me!!! Last week when I met with Dr. O she mentioned that I would be getting my tumor markers drawn in a few weeks...and although trying to remain optimistic...reality was that she was quite concerned too and that if my #s were not down...I would be adding yet another chemo to my regimen that I am already on.
Yes I am now starting to feel the pain and side effects from this neulasta...but I feel like shouting at the loudest that I possibly can...GOD IS SO GOOD...I CAN...AND I WILL BEAT THIS!!!
Thank you for your prayers, positive thoughts, and support...I am beyond happy right now!!!
So here's to more positive attitudes, TONS of praying, and Lots of juicing! :)
Friday, April 26, 2013
WHY?...
Why this? Why now?...
Well by now it is no surprise to most of you of what is going on. Yesterday we were informed that my Mama will be facing another fight with breast cancer...again. She was diagnosed with stage 2 back in Fall of 1996. She underwent a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation followed by 5 years of being on Tamoxifen. She has gone EVERY single year since then to all her check ups with Dr. Ondreyco.
My Mama is NOT one to just sit and wait and watch and wonder if something is to grow or change or disappear. Instead as in 1996 NO mammogram picked up her tumor-instead it was her monthly BREAST SELF-EXAM that she discovered her "lump"...her "female" doctor at the time told her "not" to worry about it...they would watch it and go on with life. Not the answer you tell my Mama...instead she contacted a good surgeon and was persistent on getting "it" taken care of. A short time later the lump was removed and wouldn't you know...it was "C".
So a month ago she had her yearly mammo...and a "suspicious" spot showed up on the opposite breast from before...it was her Left one they were concerned about. So last week she secretly went in for a biopsy...she didn't want to tell me or to worry me (she got a hand slap from me-ha!)...but anyways she went in and it "popped" like a water balloon...which was a good thing. But...
Then she asked them to check out a "spot" on her chest between right and left that was a little abnormal. It had been there for maybe a few months and I had mentioned going to a dermatologist. She asked the doctor performing the biopsy if she could recommend a good dermatologist dr. The intelligent dr said, "Oh-Dr. Ondreyco would want me to cut this out for you...I am just going to do it...NOW!"
So fast forward to yesterday-APRIL 25th,2013 @11:30 am...My Mama is at Dr. Ondreyco's office...and Dr. O walks in with disbelief and shakes her head saying of all people...You and Jamie...I don't know why you have to both go through "C" again...but you are going to get through it!
Today we went in for an appointment with my radiation doctor-Dr. Taw...love her (as if you didn't already know this)...but after leaving her office I felt a sense of HOPE again...I believe in my heart that my Mama has caught her "C" early enough that her treatments will be minimal...BUT there is always the BUT...we won't know anything until next week until she has her MRI and PET scan.
I was pretty emotional yesterday and felt deflated like a huge balloon falling and didn't know what would be next...today I feel as though someone has refilled my tank with POSITIVE air and I am still fighting stronger than ever...a little weak...but fighting!!!
This morning as I curled my hair...I said out loud this exactly..."Daddy...if you can hear me and know that I need you...send me a sign!" Well I am not going to share what he sent me...but as my Mama and I sat down to lunch-we got it! Thank you!!! I know that God is with us and my Daddy who I am missing more than ever lately is near us.
So as I finished my hair and put on a layer of lip gloss...I got a call from sweet Miss Kelly who is in charge of the Kids Can Cope group that Taryn and Maesyn attend. She asked how I was, as she always does and then informed me that "the" video was done. So for those that haven't already seen it...check it out. (Link Below)
You ask WHY? How can a family go through so much and keep on keepin' on...it is because of OUR FAITH-FAMILY and FRIENDS...How can I keep going on and getting some of the punches that I get...this is WHY...Because of my angels.
I LOVE YOU Taryn and Maesyn you are too young to have to know so much...but you are what puts a smile on my face, a song in my heart, and the will to SURVIVE! Forever always...YOUR Mama I'll be.
I don't necessarily realize why my Mama and I have to go through our 2nd battles with "C"...but I do know that we are pretty tough chicks-ask anyone that truly knows us. I might not ever know...but I do know that God has a purpose in this crazy thing we all call LIFE...and in the end we will have a story or 2 to tell and be able to encourage others and make a difference...no matter just how BIG or how small it might be.
As I am reminded daily...God gives His battles to His toughest Soldiers...Thank you for being apart of the ARMY of PRAYER warriors!!! Until next time...enjoy the video :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlepeNCyL8o
Well by now it is no surprise to most of you of what is going on. Yesterday we were informed that my Mama will be facing another fight with breast cancer...again. She was diagnosed with stage 2 back in Fall of 1996. She underwent a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation followed by 5 years of being on Tamoxifen. She has gone EVERY single year since then to all her check ups with Dr. Ondreyco.
My Mama is NOT one to just sit and wait and watch and wonder if something is to grow or change or disappear. Instead as in 1996 NO mammogram picked up her tumor-instead it was her monthly BREAST SELF-EXAM that she discovered her "lump"...her "female" doctor at the time told her "not" to worry about it...they would watch it and go on with life. Not the answer you tell my Mama...instead she contacted a good surgeon and was persistent on getting "it" taken care of. A short time later the lump was removed and wouldn't you know...it was "C".
So a month ago she had her yearly mammo...and a "suspicious" spot showed up on the opposite breast from before...it was her Left one they were concerned about. So last week she secretly went in for a biopsy...she didn't want to tell me or to worry me (she got a hand slap from me-ha!)...but anyways she went in and it "popped" like a water balloon...which was a good thing. But...
Then she asked them to check out a "spot" on her chest between right and left that was a little abnormal. It had been there for maybe a few months and I had mentioned going to a dermatologist. She asked the doctor performing the biopsy if she could recommend a good dermatologist dr. The intelligent dr said, "Oh-Dr. Ondreyco would want me to cut this out for you...I am just going to do it...NOW!"
So fast forward to yesterday-APRIL 25th,2013 @11:30 am...My Mama is at Dr. Ondreyco's office...and Dr. O walks in with disbelief and shakes her head saying of all people...You and Jamie...I don't know why you have to both go through "C" again...but you are going to get through it!
Today we went in for an appointment with my radiation doctor-Dr. Taw...love her (as if you didn't already know this)...but after leaving her office I felt a sense of HOPE again...I believe in my heart that my Mama has caught her "C" early enough that her treatments will be minimal...BUT there is always the BUT...we won't know anything until next week until she has her MRI and PET scan.
I was pretty emotional yesterday and felt deflated like a huge balloon falling and didn't know what would be next...today I feel as though someone has refilled my tank with POSITIVE air and I am still fighting stronger than ever...a little weak...but fighting!!!
This morning as I curled my hair...I said out loud this exactly..."Daddy...if you can hear me and know that I need you...send me a sign!" Well I am not going to share what he sent me...but as my Mama and I sat down to lunch-we got it! Thank you!!! I know that God is with us and my Daddy who I am missing more than ever lately is near us.
So as I finished my hair and put on a layer of lip gloss...I got a call from sweet Miss Kelly who is in charge of the Kids Can Cope group that Taryn and Maesyn attend. She asked how I was, as she always does and then informed me that "the" video was done. So for those that haven't already seen it...check it out. (Link Below)
You ask WHY? How can a family go through so much and keep on keepin' on...it is because of OUR FAITH-FAMILY and FRIENDS...How can I keep going on and getting some of the punches that I get...this is WHY...Because of my angels.
I LOVE YOU Taryn and Maesyn you are too young to have to know so much...but you are what puts a smile on my face, a song in my heart, and the will to SURVIVE! Forever always...YOUR Mama I'll be.
I don't necessarily realize why my Mama and I have to go through our 2nd battles with "C"...but I do know that we are pretty tough chicks-ask anyone that truly knows us. I might not ever know...but I do know that God has a purpose in this crazy thing we all call LIFE...and in the end we will have a story or 2 to tell and be able to encourage others and make a difference...no matter just how BIG or how small it might be.
As I am reminded daily...God gives His battles to His toughest Soldiers...Thank you for being apart of the ARMY of PRAYER warriors!!! Until next time...enjoy the video :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlepeNCyL8o
Monday, April 15, 2013
And God said..."Be still"
These last few days...I have to be honest. I have doubted my FAITH at times...and wondered how? Why? and What if? Let me explain! Some of you are/were aware of my concerns...and I can honestly say my FAITH was tested again!!!
So as most of you know my CA19-9 (tumor marker which they check through blood test)..."should" be for the normal human UNDER 36. The week I was diagnosed it was reading at 1617. After the whipple it had gone down to 117...then about 5 weeks ago it had INCREASED to 170+...so the Dr. O being the PRO-ACTIVE doctor that she is...had her medical assistant call me and say that I needed to retest my CA19-9. Well I go in on April 4th to have my blood drawn...and then comes last Monday which I should have gotten my 2nd Gemzar. Well with my WBC count being low I was not able to and immediately asked, "Well what about my CA19-9"...and then that is when my sweet RN Becca went on a hunt to track down those numbers...next thing I know the PA is coming over to my chair to inform me that my level was at 1305. I FREAKED!!! Then came the many tears...I drove down Bell Road headed to the 101 crying out to God..."Please! Don't let this be"...And then a few more hours of crying and I put a call into the doctor office...left a message stating "If my tumor markers have gone so drastically high..lets get a PET scan or CT scan to ease my mind". That night the sweet PA called me and told me exactly this..."We got your message...we know you are concerned with your CA19-9 being so elevated...so are we!" They agreed that a "STAT" CT scan would be ordered...and would be done depending on insurance approval.
What seemed like FOREVER...really only 2 days...insurance DENIED it...so Friday I went back in to see if the 4 neupogen shots had done their job for my WBCs (which they did)...and as I go to leave I was informed that my insurance had APPROVED the CT Scan thanks to my doctors office fighting for ME!
I immediately called Banner scheduling and they said..."Can you come now!"...I was on my way and drinking barium. The simple 10 minute test isn't the worst part...it is the waiting game...waiting for the results and hearing what is going on or is not going on. So this weekend I tried to keep my mind busy and focus on other things...but the CT scan results were lurking in my mind and driving me nutty.
So fast forward to TODAY...I go in with high hopes of 1. that my WBCs would be high enough to get chemo. 2. That I would hear those words I so long to hear from the CT scan.
SO...
1. My WBCs have dropped from 7.9 to 2.28 so still very cautious about being around people...however it is the neutrophil count that is really important to look at...it has to be at least 1.5...ladies and gentlemen...THIS girls count came in at 1.53. Is that not a miracle?? I know most aren't so excited to say wow! can't wait to get chemo or so excited to get it...but it is one step closer to the finish line.
2. After finishing my almost 2 hour treatment session...I asked once again for my CT scan report...and it was tracked down and read exactly this:
"NO CT evidence of tumor recurrence or metastasis at the level of the chest and abdomen. Stable post-op changes. No liver metastasis."
Folks...I want to go run on the top of the mountain and scream this... "GOD IS GOOD!" My doctor obviously says "we will watch it"...possible reason for CA19-9 being elevated...false/positive result or actual high reading from the chemo and radiation doing what they were/are suppose to do and the reading is elevated.
Tomorrow I will go back in for my very expensive, and VERY painful injection of NEULASTA...that is for my WBCs which is longer lasting than the neupogen...it boosts my cells and causes SEVERE bone pain. I will most likely receive a neulasta now after every chemo. I CAN DO THIS!!! (Phil 4:13)
I know I will have many ups and also many downs fighting this battle...I have to remember who "IS" in charge and as he said, "Be still and KNOW that I AM GOD" My FAITH has been tested...and once again I am reminded NEVER to give up!
So as most of you know my CA19-9 (tumor marker which they check through blood test)..."should" be for the normal human UNDER 36. The week I was diagnosed it was reading at 1617. After the whipple it had gone down to 117...then about 5 weeks ago it had INCREASED to 170+...so the Dr. O being the PRO-ACTIVE doctor that she is...had her medical assistant call me and say that I needed to retest my CA19-9. Well I go in on April 4th to have my blood drawn...and then comes last Monday which I should have gotten my 2nd Gemzar. Well with my WBC count being low I was not able to and immediately asked, "Well what about my CA19-9"...and then that is when my sweet RN Becca went on a hunt to track down those numbers...next thing I know the PA is coming over to my chair to inform me that my level was at 1305. I FREAKED!!! Then came the many tears...I drove down Bell Road headed to the 101 crying out to God..."Please! Don't let this be"...And then a few more hours of crying and I put a call into the doctor office...left a message stating "If my tumor markers have gone so drastically high..lets get a PET scan or CT scan to ease my mind". That night the sweet PA called me and told me exactly this..."We got your message...we know you are concerned with your CA19-9 being so elevated...so are we!" They agreed that a "STAT" CT scan would be ordered...and would be done depending on insurance approval.
What seemed like FOREVER...really only 2 days...insurance DENIED it...so Friday I went back in to see if the 4 neupogen shots had done their job for my WBCs (which they did)...and as I go to leave I was informed that my insurance had APPROVED the CT Scan thanks to my doctors office fighting for ME!
I immediately called Banner scheduling and they said..."Can you come now!"...I was on my way and drinking barium. The simple 10 minute test isn't the worst part...it is the waiting game...waiting for the results and hearing what is going on or is not going on. So this weekend I tried to keep my mind busy and focus on other things...but the CT scan results were lurking in my mind and driving me nutty.
So fast forward to TODAY...I go in with high hopes of 1. that my WBCs would be high enough to get chemo. 2. That I would hear those words I so long to hear from the CT scan.
SO...
1. My WBCs have dropped from 7.9 to 2.28 so still very cautious about being around people...however it is the neutrophil count that is really important to look at...it has to be at least 1.5...ladies and gentlemen...THIS girls count came in at 1.53. Is that not a miracle?? I know most aren't so excited to say wow! can't wait to get chemo or so excited to get it...but it is one step closer to the finish line.
2. After finishing my almost 2 hour treatment session...I asked once again for my CT scan report...and it was tracked down and read exactly this:
"NO CT evidence of tumor recurrence or metastasis at the level of the chest and abdomen. Stable post-op changes. No liver metastasis."
Folks...I want to go run on the top of the mountain and scream this... "GOD IS GOOD!" My doctor obviously says "we will watch it"...possible reason for CA19-9 being elevated...false/positive result or actual high reading from the chemo and radiation doing what they were/are suppose to do and the reading is elevated.
Tomorrow I will go back in for my very expensive, and VERY painful injection of NEULASTA...that is for my WBCs which is longer lasting than the neupogen...it boosts my cells and causes SEVERE bone pain. I will most likely receive a neulasta now after every chemo. I CAN DO THIS!!! (Phil 4:13)
I know I will have many ups and also many downs fighting this battle...I have to remember who "IS" in charge and as he said, "Be still and KNOW that I AM GOD" My FAITH has been tested...and once again I am reminded NEVER to give up!
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