Nov: Day 5 &Thunderbird

Well today is day 5 of my month long bloggin' challenge so lets get up and jive.  Well not really who wants to get up at 11:45pm and do a little dance.  Well instead I wanted to list a few things that can lead to a healthier lifestyle...which would mean a way to prevent cancer if possible...lower your risk.

*Exercise...I'm not talking about being at Crossfit everyday (although that is my dream to be a "crossfit" chick...someday sooner than later). I mean get out and walk or ride your bike daily.  Anything is better than just sitting around doing nothing.  I will be the first to admit...I have never liked running...nor do I see it in my future...but I do LOVE riding my bike a few miles a day around the neighborhood, especially with my 2 girlies. 

*Don't use tobacco products. I know this is a VERY hard habit for many to break.  But look on the bright side...you will not only smell better and feel better-you'll save lots of money. Who wants to waste money on a "can of chew" or a pack of "cigs". NOT, I!

*Eat Right! Limit your fat intake and eat PLENTY of fruits and vegetables.  If you get tired of shoving carrots and other vegetables down...you can always juice. :)  It takes work...but nobody said eating right comes easy.  It takes work and dedication to live a better lifestyle when it comes to eating.

*Protect yourself from the sun. Especially if you live in the sunshine states...make sure to see a dermatologist to check your skin. I myself make it a point to have a yearly exam.  I may not always like what the derm. doctor has to say...but I know that being proactive is key! Well I take it back...she always compliments me on my lips and how so many people pay big bucks to have lips like mine. Ha! I tell her yes, I am blessed! But seriously...if you see any abnormalities...get them checked!

*Medical care...make sure you are seeing a medical professional for regular check ups and if you have a history or family history with cancer that you are being screened.  Again...being proactive is so crucial!!!

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THUNDERBIRD...Home Sweet Home

Now the question of the day has been...how was your CT scan??? Any news yet??? Well peeps...as soon as I know my results, you can bet that I will be blogging for all to know.  I hate...yes I know strong word...but I hate drinking those barium bottles prior to the scan.  I described it to my girls as if someone turned Elmer's glue into a drink and tried to cover up the nasty taste by adding some "fake" berry flavor to it. Ummm...yuck! Needless to say I got my scan completed...and dealt with some tummy issues for the rest of the day.

But I need to share a special occurrence that happened to me before/during/after my scan.  So I arrived the 30 minutes prior.  Filled out the necessary paper work and then sat there in the medical image waiting area.

 I thought to myself all the life changing events that have occurred to me at Banner Thunderbird...from having my beautiful babies there, being diagnosed with breast cancer and having my mastectomies there, my abdominal hysterectomy...to being told I had cancer again and this time it was primary pancreatic.  That hospital holds a special place in my heart...and although there has been a LOT of tragic times there...I have also had some special memories that I will forever cherish and be grateful for. 

So as I signed my name and marked the date...I was greeted by the ct tech...Hello, My name is Samantha and I will be doing your ct scan today.  Ok, I thought to myself lets do this!  

She began to ask which arm I preferred her to start my iv. I showed her my left arm...and she kinda took a deep gulp and sighed. She then stated that too bad I didn't have a port so she could just access it that way instead of poking my arm again...as she could see my bruises and where I last had blood taken.  I pulled down my shirt to show her my port.  She was happy that she could call the RN  to come access my port and we would begin the test.  Well that didn't go as planned...they requested that if that was the case, I would need a chest x-ray to determine placement...Samantha being concerned...she didn't think I needed to have unnecessary radiation from the xray-I agreed. So next call was to the swat RN to come start an IV. It wasn't that I know Samantha didn't have the confidence that she couldn't get a good IV...but the fact that she was so concerned and compassionate for my comfort and well being. 

So the swat RN comes into the room and I began to tell both her and Samantha "my story"...how I was diagnosed at THEIR hospital...how the doctors and nurses took care of me...how I went onto Banner Good Sam for the whipple surgery, had chemo...and pretty much now here I was today for the scan because my tumor markers had elevated. They were both so attentive and listening to every detail I told.  The swat RN got my IV and left the room...Samantha did what she needed to do and the scan began.

I laid there trying to ease my mind and relax from being anxious...all I could do was reflect on all the memories that I had at T-bird.  I thought to myself...I really need to give Samantha a "blog-card" that is what I call them. Nothing more than a business card...instead has my blog address, face book prayer page, and name with my phone number.  Whenever I have an opportunity I pass them out like candy and try to make a difference in complete strangers lives in hopes they pay it forward...share my story and perhaps give others hope. 

So wouldn't you know the scan only took a short while...after feeling like I was going to "pee" my pants-lovely side affect from the contrast that is used in ct scans. So I thought Wow! Another one completed and just like the last ct scan...they seriously don't last as long as one would think.  So I threw on my top I was wearing over my tank-top and Samantha walked back near the area I had my purse on and where I was laying for the test.  I told her Thank YOU and I handed her my blog-card as I mentioned that I blog and when she got a chance she could read more of my story.  She took it and said..."Wait a minute!"...are you on face book?- I answered YES! Oh my she continued on...Do you know "KRICO"??? I said of course...she's a good friend and I worked at Boswell with her.  Samantha's eyes at that point got teary as she said, " I have been praying for you, ever since KRICO shared your story on face book...I have been lifting you in prayers! "

It was at that moment that I knew God had everything planned out...I was scheduled to be at a complete different hospital...but Banner Estrella's machines were down for a few more weeks...so i chose to go to Thunderbird...my "other" Home Sweet Home! Thank you Samantha and those of you that have played a role in my health care.  Your compassion, and dedication does NOT go unnoticed.  I am grateful for people like YOU!

Until next time...thank your health care provider for the job that they do.  Encourage others to wear PURPLE.  Pray for GOOD results from my scan...and make a difference today!

November: Day 4

So today is day 4 of this blogging challenge that I have put myself up to.  I wanted the world to know why and what I fight for...
It is plain and simple.
Nothing anyone or anything can buy.
Not something that can be replaced.
Not something that I just take out of the closet when I feel like it.
Not something that anyone else has.
No...you see why I fight is for these 2 precious little girls that call me their MAMA.




These 2 baby girls...yes they will always be my babies...have more knowledge about "life" than some adults. They are tough little girls...who put a HUGE smile on my face each and everyday. My reason for waking up each and everyday and my reason for saying Thank God for another wonderful day each and every night. 
This fight by NO means has been easy...but having these 2 beauties in my corner has made it all worth fighting for. 
Taryn and Maesyn...you someday if you don't already know...will know just how much you both mean to me.  THANK YOU for being my sunshine on gloomy days...and for keeping my heart filled with lots of love.

Until next time...fighting always with these 2 on my mind.

Please continue to pray...tomorrow I will have my CT scan of the abdomen...to make sure everything is "ok" since my last lab work showed my CA19-9 to be elevated a bit.  Prayer is Powerful!!!

Don't forget to spread the word...THINK PURPLE. Know it. Fight it. End it.

November: Day 3

statistics

 

Well I have always said I was NOT...nor am I going to be one of the statistics.  I can't say I don't believe in them...because lets face it...they go off of actual studies/cases. HOWEVER I am not the "normal" patient.  I can not nor will I thrive off of what others are saying statistically.  I believe that God has a purpose for me on this earth.  I have fought and beat breast cancer...and I CAN and I WILL beat pancreatic cancer.  I am fortunate or maybe unfortunate depending who you ask...that I had the pancreaticoduodenectomy-say that 10 time...which is the whipple procedure. So I have my "own" statistics...that are off the charts-ha!

 

But if you must know...here is what is being said...not to make you sad and pity me...but reality is this disease is horrible!!!

 

According to the American Cancer Society's estimates for Pancreatic Cancer in the United States for 2013 are:

About 45,220 people (22,740 men and 22,480 women) will be diagnosed with Pan-Can

About 38,460 people (19,480 men and 18,980 women) will die from Pan-Can

Rates of Pan-Can have been slowly increasing over the past 10 years.

The lifetime risk of developing Pan-Can is about 1 in 78.

 

According to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network-Pancreatic cancer has the lowest five-year relative SURVIVAL rate of ALL major cancers. For every 100 diagnosed ONLY 6 will survive after 5 years.

 

We mustn't be afraid...we must be PROACTIVE.  We have to spread the word and make awareness the key. 

 

Until next time...what are you going to do to be proactive? Think about it!

November: Day 2

Well by the time that you have read this the 2nd day of November has come and gone.  But...I have challenged myself and although a little late...I am not going to forget posting for the 2nd. 

So have you seen all the purple ribbons around the stores? Yea...me neither!  Which is why YOU have to be a voice...a voice that spreads the word about Pancreatic Cancer Awareness.  I want to challenge YOU to do something...email, text, call, tweet, re post, share...do what you gotta do to get the word out.  I want you to spread the word to at least 10 other people by encouraging them to read my blog.  I want so many others to be aware of this disease that EVERYONE is aware in some way.

I know I have many "medical" related people that read my blog...so its unfair to ask these questions...because hopefully-ha...they already know the answers to these questions.  Yes...I too have been in/around the medical field since I was 19 years old...but never truly "understood" the function of the PANCREAS until after my diagnosis.

1.  What does the pancreas do?
Well its a gland organ in the digestive and endocrine system.  The pancreas has 2 functional components: endocrine to produce insulin and other hormones, and exocrine to produce pancreatic juices for digestion.
The pancreas is in direct contact with the stomach, duodenum, spleen, and major vessels of the abdomen.

2. How many sections does the pancreas have?
*Head
*Body
*Tail

3.  Where is the pancreas located?
The pancreas is located deep in the abdomen-nestled between the stomach and the spine. It lies partially behind the stomach. The other portion is tucked in the curve of the duodenum (small intestine). Because of the pancreas' deep location...tumors are rarely palpable.  This also explains why many symptoms of pan-can often do not appear until the tumor grows large enough to interfere with the function of nearby structures such as the stomach, duodenum, liver, or gallbladder.

Well now you know a tad bit more about your pancreas...if you didn't already.

Until Next time...THINK PURPLE...spread the word.  Be aware! Remember if life gets a little fizzy...don't get into a tizzy...instead take a moment and remember this too shall pass. :)


  

NOVEMBER: THINK PURPLE DAY 1

Well like most of YOU...I too had no idea when pancreatic cancer awareness month was.  Nor did I know what the awareness "color" for pan-can was...Please join me as I begin a month long awareness campaign...not just for myself but for others that if they are not already aware...then they will become aware and be proactive in their health.

You know I find it absolutely amazing that EVERYONE knows what the pink ribbon represents...I too am a breast cancer SURVIVOR.  From "Save the Ta-Tas"...to "Check your Boobies"...we get it! You see a PINK ribbon and everyone knows it has something to do with breast cancer.  But lets take all the "money" part out of these multi-million dollar campaigns and lets focus on what's really going on.  How much of your money is really going to research.  YOU would be surprised...and if you're anything like me...you would actually be quite disappointed. I believe there is a CURE...but these drug companies and large corporations wouldn't make the money they are making now...because who doesn't like to "support the cause"...right?! So how many of you bought PINK Campbell's soup cans, hairspray in a PINK can, pens that right pretty with the PINK ribbon on it, magnetic PINK ribbons for the car...the list goes on and on. Thank you  for supporting the PINK ribbon...but how many of you actually do your MONTHLY self breast exams-YES men get it too!

Not to ruffle any feathers...but WE must all be aware EVERY month...not just in October when we see all the PINK...

I can honestly sit here and say I had very little knowledge on what month meant what and what color represented what type of cancer awareness.  I knew pink...and I knew yellow for child hood cancers...but what was PURPLE???

I didn't think too much about November (other than my youngest being born in this month)...nor did I put too much into knowing what "awareness" month for cancer that it was.  That all changed on 11-30-2012...at the age of 34 being diagnosed with PANCREATIC CANCER.  I remember sitting in my hospital room at Banner Thunderbird and thinking wow...I have gone from wearing a LOT of pink ribbons to now I would be adding purple to my collection of things. 

I didn't know the severity of pan-can...the statistics...the treatments...the prognosis...or life after being diagnosed.  What I did know were the signs of pancreatic cancer...only after I was diagnosed of course.  They often say pan-can is a "silent" killer. The symptoms are very vague and could be VERY misleading. 

Today I will share some of  the symptoms of pancreatic cancer:

*upper abdominal pain that may radiate to your back (ummm this is an understatement...more like SEVERE pain that felt like a horse's cinch around my upper abdomen...down my rib cage...then into my lower back.

*yellowing (jaundice) of your skin and the whites of your eyes (I have always liked the color yellow...especially since that was my Dad's favorite color. However having the whites of my eyes turn yellow...not so much!)

*loss of appetite (I related this to stress from "life")...

*weight loss (see above)

*itching-from blockage of the bile ducts (I had the worst itching...I thought I had an allergic reaction...thinking I might have tried something new as in detergent...soap...but Nope!!!)

*bloating (every now and then) 

*nausea (still related this to life)

*diarrhea(related this to my prior surgery of removing my gall bladder)

*elevated blood sugars

See what I mean...these symptoms are very vague...how many of you deal already with abdominal issues...pain...etc., etc....but who would ever imagine that these signs/symptoms could lead you to end up getting the diagnosis of PANCREATIC CANCER. 

This isn't written to scare you...but it is also not my intentions for YOU to just sit back and ignore any "abnormal" symptoms you may be having.  YOU have to be proactive in YOUR health.  You can go to 100 different doctors...but only YOU know YOU!

Don't forget to THINK PURPLE...not just in November...but every month.  Pancreatic Cancer is usually so aggressive...because it is "caught" in later stages...but YOU can prevent the "silent killer" by being aware!!! Here's to more SURVIVORS of this disease.

So from the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network...KNOW IT. FIGHT IT. END IT.

Until tomorrow...spread the word to at least 10 other people...think PURPLE

Up, Down, Up, Down, Up

Well 1 year ago today I was getting my gall-bladder removed...because that is what we "thought" was my issue...but here we are a year later and on this never ending feeling of a roller-coaster ride...

It feels as though after you are diagnosed with cancer...life seems to take a roller-coaster effect on you.  One day "it" is going in a downward motion to the completed finish line...the next it is going up as in an uphill battle trying to get "everything" just right.  By everything I mean cleans scans, feeling a-ok, and "normal" labs. 

I have debated to blog about this...because I don't want to discourage those that have been recently diagnosed...but reality is...WE MUST ALL KEEP FIGHTING!!!  We have to stay proactive and be aware of ANY changes in our body. NEVER lose HOPE...

So with that being said...I have been pretty quiet lately and to those of you that have asked me...why haven't you blogged?...how are you feeling?...Well I am going to answer a few questions that I have been asked in recent days.

1.  Now that you are all done with your treatments...you must be alright so life is going to get back to normal right?
Well if only it were that easy...yes I may be done with my harsh chemo treatments...but I will NEVER be done fighting this fight...the fight I call LIFE!  NO, I don't have to listen to people as they put their 2-cents in about how my days are "numbered", or what the statistics show, etc...instead I try to see the positive and think I have gone this far...I am not backing down and letting "C" try to come back and take me. I am a pretty tough girl...in case you didn't already know this-ha! As a very wise friend told me yesterday...I have knocked "it" down and now I have "it" by the throat...I have to keep on keepin' on. As for the "statistics" most aren't even able to go through with the "WHIPPLE" procedure...I was fortunate to have been able to go through with it. Has it been easy since then...absolutely not.  Try changing your whole lifestyle around and fight cancer while doing it...pretty challenging but I had to as I continue to do.

2. So when are you going to be able to get a job...and when will you start back to school? 
Well again... I wish it were that simple that I could just go apply somewhere and make some money...but out of the mouth of my doctor..."um-NO!...Do you realize you need your life to be as stress-free as possible?!"...you have to allow your body to heal. Look at all that you have gone through and it hasn't even been a year since you were diagnosed...so with that response, I will patiently wait to see what the future holds. I have to get my body healed and remember that God has "My" life all planned out...I just have to be still and listen. 

3. When can you get your port out?
Well I asked Dr. O this very question too...her response...DO NOT ASK ABOUT THIS FOR AT LEAST 3 MONTHS...we need to monitor your labs...which brings me to this...

Dr. O has ordered I have labs monthly and PET scans every 3 months.  My next PET will be the end of November.

Well I received my lab results from Dr.O's office yesterday and my CA19-9 has increased by 34...what does that mean??? Well there could be  number of reasons...BUT we are remaining positive and in the meantime Dr.O has ordered an abdominal CT-Scan on me to rule out no recurrence.  I hate to even type that word...but that's what we have to make sure of. 

There is also a bit of a concern with my WBCs...my white cells are 1/2 of what they were last month.  So PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE germs stay away...I am very susceptible of "catching" a cold very easy...so I really have to limit where I go and not be around anyone that is or has recently been sick.

As I sit here typing this I can be honest and say I am anxious of getting the green-light to go ahead and head over to get my CT-Scan. I am not really worried...just I want to get it done so I can take another deep breath and go about  what needs to be done...me getting "healthy" and not just surviving but thriving.

Please continue to uplift me in your thoughts, and prayers...as we all know God is powerful! Thank you to those that have been with me and stood by me from day one of this journey...I know it is because of my FAITH, FAMILY, and FRIENDS...that I am alive!

Just remember "Don't judge people, You never know what kind of battle they are fighting"-so with that I say just because someone (like myself) might look totally normal...we are all fighting to win this battle and it is not over until there is a CURE!

I will keep fighting each and everyday not only for myself...but for my girls as they have been my reason to keep a smile on my face on some of my hardest days that I had to go through with all my surgery stuff and treatments. 

I will hold onto this roller-coaster handle as I climb up the hill...anxiously awaiting...and fast down another one...this ride I call "LIFE" is nothing short of a miracle.

Until next time...praying for good results as I remain positive and optimistic.

*Also please remember TOMORROW (NOVEMBER 1st) starts
PANCREATIC CANCER AWARENESS MONTH...don't forget to wear PURPLE! :)


This photo was taken last Sunday by Nicole Crites-CBS 5 @ 2013 Purple Light event in Phoenix.
3 out of the 6 in this photo have SURVIVED PAN-CAN for more than 10 years.
That gives me HOPE!!! 

Long wait...

It's been a LONG time waiting for this day. I wanted to wait and write this blog more so on my "1- year" diagnosis date anniversary...but couldn't wait! This might be a repeat to some of you...others you may not know "my" story... Looking back to 11.30.12 it seems like only yesterday...but on the other hand it seems so long ago.  I sat in my hospital room at Banner Thunderbird getting the diagnosis of "C" again...this time it was not breast cancer I was going to be dealing with...it was much more of a fight I was up against...pancreatic cancer.  With some of my family and friends gathered around my bed...I knew what needed to be done.  All I could do was see my baby girls' faces and knew that they both needed me.  It had been just the "3" of us by the time I was diagnosed...we were adjusting to life not easily...but as strong as we possibly could. 



I hadn't been "feeling" well since September but related it to all that I was going through...then came the gall bladder surgery...still didn't solve my "issue"...so on that Thanksgiving weekend I knew something was seriously wrong as my body began to itch (increased bilirubin) and my eyes were as yellow as urine (I know-gross)...My Mom came over to watch the girls who were by this time both asleep and  I was taken to Banner Estrella by "my" Ally-Kat...I knew in my heart something was seriously wrong and I might be up for a stay in the hospital...just didn't expect to hear what I would hear next...

It was that sweet-petite preggo ER doctor that took my medical history and all my signs and symptoms so seriously.  She ordered an immediate CT scan...it was then that she asked that A-Kat move her purse so she "Dr. OnTop of Things" could sit down and be right by my "bed" that was in the hallway-yes that's how crazy busy the ER was on that particular night. 







As A-Kat and I joked around and took self portraits of ourselves sharing my bed together and then I was taking pictures of my nasty-yellow eyes to pass the time...I had that nasty gut feeling and it wouldn't go away. As tears began to form in the doctor's eyes...I knew she had news that was not going to be what I wanted to hear.  "Jamie, we have found a mass on your pancreas...with your cancer history we are very concerned...I want to admit you for further testing"...sitting there now with a look of a deer in the head-lights...I was in shock. She proceeded to give me 2 options...do I want to stay at Estrella, or be transferred to Thunderbird?!  My answer was pretty immediate...I knew that my oncologist and her team, along with my surgeons work out at T-bird. Next came by other option...did I want to be transferred by ambulance (didn't know if insurance would cover it)...or ride with A-Kat who by this point had been up for 29 straight hours. Well that answer became clearer when the RN on shift working with Dr. On Top of Things literally ripped her badge off...handed it to A-Kat and demand that she use it to swipe it for coffee...that she wanted to do something and that's the least she could do. 



It was off to Thunderbird where "after" hours and weekend staff is short...so you follow the signs where we needed to be or at least where we were told to go.  I remember being told to go straight to the main registration..but we would have to take the hall through the ER at T-bird...the ER registration gal insisted on we pretty much take a number, have a seat and we will be called when available.  I wasn't being the "patient" patient by this point. I wanted to rub her body in poison ivy and color her eyes with a yellow sharpie and maybe she would understand how my body itched so bad...and my eyes looked so abnormal.  FINALLY...A-Kat speaks up once again and says...we were sent here from Estrella..."she" (that would be me) is a direct admit.  Oh-Duh! Light bulb turns on in the lovely registration gal's head and it all clicks-oh yes...go directly to registration-wow! Never been so happy in my life...after waiting for a good 20 minutes which seemed like 2 hours...we were moving...

Then what seemed like a whirl-wind of events...well actually that's what really happened.  I was scheduled for 5 out of my 6 days inpatient for different procedures...to determine if it truly was cancer, location and if it was primary pancreatic or breast cancer that had metastasized. 2 ERCPs, U/s, CT scans, MRI, etc, etc, etc...I may have been in there for 6 days...but round the clock I had support from those that love and care about me and they helped my long days and nights seem shorter...and kept my mind off a lot of what I was going through and wondering about all the "what-ifs"...
I still say I love all my nurses and staff that I had at T-Bird...BUT...my angel nurse that sticks out in my mind and  the one that sat on my bed and held me as I cried after receiving my diagnosis...Thank you!!!



Yes...very jaundice indeed...but happy to have had some of the best doctors and nurses.  Reading my medical records now...I see how passionate my GI doctors, my oncologist team and the surgeons were.   Here they had at the time a 34 year old...Mama to 2 little girls, a nursing student and someone with a future ahead of her...who was just given the diagnosis of  "PAN-CAN"...they didn't know what to think, the prognosis, or if I would be able to be around for another year of holidays.  Instead they gave me encouragement and Hope...that I could do this...I know in the back of their minds there could have been hesitation...but they NEVER let that show. Instead Dr.P (head of GI) shed tears as he began a procedure, Dr. G. came with his handsome smile, and Dr. V (not bad on the eyes) would check on me each day...I knew that these trained men truly had a passion for helping others and took my care and well being very serious.  They knew what was best and what needed to be done...all of course depending on my "liver" biopsy...they had tried not to "worry" me...but they had found a spot on my liver. So once they determined there was "C" on the pancreas...I was off for a hot date with Dr. Drew...ha! He would be the one performing my liver biopsy...I remember the beginning of our "date" going something like "Well Jamie...I am Drew it is very nice to meet you...sorry we have to meet under these circumstances...hopefully next time it will be different...then I was off to la-la land for a minute only to be woken by his voice saying...I just can't get to the spot on your liver...it is too close to your lung and I can almost guarantee I would end up having to give you a chest tube. The risks are too great...so back to my room I go. 

Dr. V. came back in and informed me that I would be discharged and seen at Good Sam by the famous surgeons. I said ok that is all nice and dandy...but I want a port placed in my chest before I go home...if I am going to get chemo...I am going to be prepared.  So it was placed...and a few hours later it was off to my home...to sleep in my own bed, to hug my girls a little tighter and to pray harder than I ever had before. 

Then it was onto Sunday...just 2 days after being d/c'ed from T-Bird.  I knew that I wanted pictures of the girls and me...and know that pictures are worth a 1000 words...if this outcome not be favorable...I would want the girls to have pictures of "us" -Thank you Jobrina again for such a short notice and capturing us at such a vulnerable/emotional time.


Well the next day couldn't come soon enough...I had an appointment with Dr. Koep who's associate is Dr. Brink and I just so happen to know his sweet sister...so they pulled some strings and that is why I believe I was able to be seen so soon...sitting in the exam room and meeting these doctors face to face was almost like getting glimpse of heaven...I knew that my life was going to be in their hands...they had performed numerous surgeries that saved lives...from transplants...to the whipple surgery (if I was able to be a candidate...all depended on the outcome of my liver biopsy and Dr. Koep would be performing that-STAT).

Dr. Koep didn't mess around...I was in his office at 1pm and he mentioned that he wanted to take me to Good Sam right then and there and do the liver biopsy on me...ugh! My heart sank... literally was just home from the hospital for not even a full 48 hours and now this...he informed me it would be out patient. Oh praise the Lord...the books were full and I would have to come back the following  day. So my Mom drove me to Good Sam and I was prepped for yet another procedure...seemed like my life was all being lived in la-la land...as I was drifting off to sleep yet again. Procedure didn't last long...but the next few days to follow took FOREVER...that was to get the biopsy results.  I got a personal phone call from Dr. Koep a few evenings later...the biopsy revealed that it was NOT cancer...the pancreatic cancer had not metastasized-oh thank you dear Jesus.

My next step was to have a PET/CT scan...we needed to determine if the cancer was only on my pancreas or had spread...Thanks be to God...it was truly on my pancreas...so Dr. Koep got those results and gives me yet another call..."Here's the deal kiddo...I need you to give me 2 weeks inpatient...it's right before Christmas and we don't know the outcome or your prognosis...so do you want to spend it with your girls at home...or have surgery right away?"...the answer was obvious-I wanted to spend every bit of time with my girls before I would go in for a surgery that was going to change my life forever.


 Pancreaticduodenectomy (say that 10 x) or Whipple Procedure...don't realize how serious it is till you see it on a diagram like this.

I remember waking up in ICU and the nurse informing me that when I felt ready to I could walk...but only when the time was right-I looked at her like she was crazy and said come on...lets go now! I was 2 hours post-op and walking around the nurses station...I was still so loopy from the surgery meds...but so remember hearing all the other nurses and staff cheering me on.  That was the kind of fighting spirit I had...from day one. No one or nothing was going to change me...I was going to fight! They would tell me to walk so many laps a day...I would do that in a certain about a time and triple their expectations...on most days.

My experience at Good-Sam was no different from my experience at T-Bird...I still think about all my wonderful nurses and wonder if Nate-the-Great became a daddy again...or if Marvin Martian still is wearing that good-smelling cologne, or if "Halle-Berry" is still on Nate-the Greats shift...I love them all...they cared for me on I can honestly say the worst days of my life to date. 





NG TUBE in one nostril and a Feeding tube in the other-not my kind of party to bring in the New Year...but I survived the Whipple...You never know how much your abdominal muscles do...until you've gone through such a surgery-again...ouch!  Being in there for 10 days was torture and my girls' were not allowed to visit me in my room-so I would gain the little strength that I had and pull my self up out of bed and walk down the hall a few steps to anxiously await to see my babies. I don't know if it was harder on them or me...but I do know my pillow caught a LOT of tears from me each night.
So on the 10th day...Dr. Brink came in to see me and he so kindly took out my NG tube...I like to compare it to the really fat-kindergarten size pencils...that was shoved into my nose and down into my stomach to remove any gastric content.-ummm yea that removal hurt just a tad.-ha! But boy oh boy yay...another tube gone.



This was me sitting on my hospital bed...Just waiting to be sent home with the nasty feeding tube in my nose...with the 2 drain tubes also in my abdomen.  So I go home...and ugh Miserable...that feeding tube was irritating my throat so bad...it had to come out.  So I waited a day and called into Dr.Koep's office...he not only "gently"-ha removes my feeding tube he yanks out my drain tubes...ok one-two-three...wowza! Ay-yi-yi my eyes began to tear up, my stomach became nauseous, and I saw stars...Dr. Koep sits me up gently ok...you are good to go. I don't know who was in more shock the med student with Dr. Koep or myself.  Ha ha I thought let me take a minute to gather my thoughts because at that point I was pretty sure he has just removed more of my intestines. :) 

Next on the agenda...see Dr.Ondreyco for her treatment plan.  I knew I would need chemotherapy and possibly radiation...I met Dr. Taw actually at Dr.O's office and within a matter of weeks...I was hooked up to 5FU chemo in conjunction with the radiation. Once I finished that...I was then started on Gemzar...another type of chemo. I did Gemzar for 10 rounds...



(This picture was taken almost 2 months ago)

I have met so many people along this journey of mine...I have lost some too...I am so grateful for God giving me the amour that I have needed and will continue to use in this battle.  I may be down 67 pounds from when I first began this fight...but I feel that I am stronger than ever at times. Yes there are more days than none lately that I am emotional relieving the past year...but I am thankful to be able to write this blog and express my love and gratitude to all of you that have been with me throughout my journey.  I am not going anywhere...I still have so much more to accomplish in my life...I have a few projects already in the works...and I look forward to sharing more details with you all as the time comes nearer...

This battle has been a tough one...but I have done it so far and I thank you for your continued love, support, and prayers.  From scans, to hospital stays, to surgeries, chemotherapy sessions, radiation, to tumor markers out of whack, to good days and to bad days...thank you!
Continue to uplift me in prayers...as I will go in about 4 weeks for more labs...this fight is never over...just a little easier knowing my latest PET/CT results. :)



A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO...my GIRLS, my family, my friends, Mesa/Boswell School of Nursing, Banner Thunderbird, Banner Estrella, Banner Good Sam, Dr. O, Dr. Taw, their staff...and to all the numerous strangers that have supported me.  I appreciate you all.  I have a story to tell...I have now battled "C" twice...and one day you will be able to "Hear Me Roar".  Praying for a continued life of NO more "C"...as my doctors have mentioned...I am a miracle. Yes...I would have to agree. I have kept fighting and will continue to.
Thank you dear Lord for giving me yet another day to live. God is good! Until next time...think positive!