What would have been week #2...holding onto HOPE!

Written-Thursday April 11th...
Well Monday (April 8th) was no different than the 1st treatment day of Gemzar...but something said otherwise.  My white blood cell count was at 0.6 (Normal above 4.0)...so you got it...no chemo. Instead I got to start the lovely Neupogen injections.  I have been going everyday and getting them. I am in hopes that tomorrow when they draw my blood my white cells have increased.  If they have not I will get another injection of Neupogen and wait until Monday.
Fingers crossed that my counts are up so I can get going with these treatments...these shots are giving me REALLY bad bone pain.

BUT...
As my chemo nurse and the PA were concerned with my WBCs...I was wondering what my CA19-9 (tumor marker) results were?! I had gone in last week (April 4th)...and I was wanting the #s.
Well Becca the sweet chemo nurse kinda gave me this strange look when she came back by...well long story short...she saw the results...and showed the PA.  They both walked back over to me, as I sat there in the chemo chair. My result read: 1305.
I began to get really upset...tears rolled down my face. I explained that when I was diagnosed my CA19-9 was at 1617...after whipple surgery 117...then it climbed to 175...now this?!?!?!  I have got a lot of people telling me not to worry..to worry...why it could be...why this and that.  Well my oncology office has ordered a STAT ct scan of chest/abdomen...however my insurance isn't being so cooperative. They have denied it...and as of this afternoon...my onco doctor has to "fight" with my insurance to get me covered. 

I have had sooooo many emotions running through my head these last few days.  Just praying everything is OK...until I get my ct scan...and a peace of mind...my mind isn't so peaceful right now.  Please pray that my insurance says OK...and that I can get some answers within the next few days.

I will end with this...I haven't given up...I am not losing HOPE!  I am holding onto a lot of H-O-P-E! In fact before I left the chemo room on Monday...Becca (Chemo RN) came back over to me and handed me an angel and on her back read: HOPE! I thank you for that Becca...thank you for letting me cry and helping to remind me to never lose HOPE!
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UPDATE: April 12th...I arrived to get my labs to see if the neupogen was doing its job...well from 0.6...my WBCs increased to 8.0 :) PRAISE THE LORD!!! Pray they remain high until Monday for when I go in for chemo...that I am able to get it!!!  While I was there at the office...they had also informed me that my insurance had reconsidered and actually had just sent the authorization # for my ct scan. 

Next thing I knew...I was headed to Banner Estrella to get my ct scan.  I am on edge now...just waiting for those results.  Pray they are good!!! Until then...I shall keep myself busy with resting :)